Amazing Catechists

Teaching and learning the faith together

Teach Your Kids to Pray in 5 Simple Steps

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My husband and I are not unusual in the sense that we have three daughters. What is unusual about our family, however, is that two of our three girls have special needs. “Special needs,” of course, runs a wide gamut. In our case, it covers both minor developmental issues that can be corrected through occupational therapy (for our oldest, Felicity) and complex care that includes medical, psychological, and educational professionals (for Sarah, our middle child).

When we were teaching the older girls how to pray, they weren’t sure what that entailed. I wanted to use the acronym ACTS to explain that prayer can be adoration, contrition, thanksgiving, and supplication (or petition). But they didn’t really understand the academic explanation. Here’s what I did instead. (Thank you, Holy Spirit!)

Use a simple formula for young kids or children who have cognitive impairment to help prayer become a natural, fluid conversation with God that covers all of the four hallmarks of prayer:

  1. Dear Jesus, my day was…
  2. Thank you for…
  3. I’m sorry for…
  4. Please help me to…
  5. I love you, Jesus. Amen.

Have your child begin in front of an image of Jesus or statue. In our home, it’s a framed image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The girls get some holy water, make the Sign of the Cross (sometimes with help), and begin with item #1. Telling Jesus about their day helps them make the connection that Jesus is real and cares about the details of our lives – also that our daily lives change, and it’s good to bring the hurts, frustrations, and joys to prayer.

Item #2 is a prayer of thanksgiving. I try to jog my girls’ memory by saying, “What is something good that happened today you’d like to thank Jesus for?” Sometimes the variations of this might be, “What’s something special about today?” or “Is there a person in your life you want to thank Jesus for?” Gratitude, I believe, fosters a much deeper sense of who we are as people of faith because of acknowledging God’s provision.

When we segue into item #3, we are entering into contrition. This is a very rudimentary form of an evening examen, but the point is to put a habit into place that can be expounded upon later, as your child matures. I might prompt the girls with something like, “What’s something you did today that you wish you hadn’t?” or “Are you sorry for anything you might have said or done today?” It’s incredible the things they remember and bring to the Lord!

#4 is really a continuation of the third item, yet it acts alone as the hallmark of petition, or supplication. I tell the girls that sometimes when we see our sins, we can ask Jesus for the grace of a specific virtue we might need. For example, if Felicity says she is sorry for mouthing off to Mom today, she might ask Jesus to help her use self-control and grow in respect. These, of course, are conversations we have as they go along with their prayer.

Finally, let’s end with praising God! When we tell Him we love Him (which we can never do enough), we end our short conversation by handing Him our hearts.

This has become such a treasured part of our nightly routine, and it has been a very useful way to incorporate spontaneous dialogue between our girls and God.

Text (c) Jeannie Ewing 2018, all rights reserved. Photo by Enis Yavuz on Unsplash

Breakfast with Jesus; Why it is so Important

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“Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”” (John 21:12) During the weeks after Easter, we hear several references to Jesus eating with his disciples. This is important for two reasons, first, it reminds us that Jesus rises from the dead with his human body! The apostles were not seeing a ghost. Jesus ate with them. He is fully human and fully divine.

Equally important, Jesus feeds them! It had probably been a long night fishing and Our Lord provided for his friends’ physical needs as well as their spiritual ones. He feeds us in the Eucharist and through his word in the Gospel. He is still meeting our needs, finding us where we are… just as he found the apostles fishing.

There are two images of Christ that I find especially appealing; Our Lord cooking breakfast for his friends and when scripture describes him as “reclining at supper.” It is easy to focus solely on the divinity of Christ and forget his human friendships. I love to think of Jesus with his head tipped back in laughter, eyes sparkling and relishing the uniqueness and even quirkiness of his circle of friends. This is the Jesus who still lives, loves and has redeemed us. He is our Savior; he is also our friend.

We can help our children to understand the complicated issue of the two natures of Jesus by practicing a simpler version of Lectio Divina (read, meditate, pray and contemplate):

Read the Gospel stories of Jesus out loud.

Discuss eating breakfast with Jesus. (meditate)
What would you like Jesus to make you for breakfast?
Would you like fire-roasted fish, like the apostles did?
How does Jesus feed your soul as well as your need for physical nourishment?
Remember that Jesus calls the Eucharist “true food.” Why do you think He says that?

Pray!
Have the children ask Jesus what he wants them to see or hear in the story.

Consider acting out a breakfast with Jesus. (contemplate)
What person in the story would you be?
How would you feel about Jesus cooking for you?
Explain how Jesus is your friend.

(C) 2017

Marriage Memes: Special Needs, Adoption & More

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Our families don’t always take the shape we expect. God’s will for our families can make itself known through challenges like infertility, hyperfertility, and children with special needs. These special challenges can turn into powerful channels of grace, making us more compassionate and loving through adversity.

These graphics on special needs, adoption and more are great for parenting support groups as well as for marriage prep and enrichment. Quotes are from Chapter 9 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for  a Lifetime. Feel free to use and share them. And please join the ongoing online discussion of The Four Keys on Facebook.

Meme #1: Catechism

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Meme #2: Scripture

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Meme #3: Quote from Four Keys

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Meme #4: Pope Quote

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Meme #5: Action Plan

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Printable Worksheets on Special Needs, Adoption & More #freebie #4KEYS

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turning-challenges-into-channels-of-grace

Some married couples are called to the challenges of raising big families or special-needs kids, or even adopting, fostering or stepparenting. These special family circumstances can open the door to a flood of graces from heaven to sustain parents in their holy and often incredibly arduous work. We touch briefly on all of these circumstances in Chapter 9 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for a Lifetime. Please get your copy, read along, and join in the discussion with the 4 Keys Online Book Club on Facebook. FOR A PRINTER-FRIENDLY VERSION OF THE WORKSHEET, CLICK HERE. 

Chapter 9

Turning Challenges into Channels of Grace:
Big Families, Special-Needs Kids, Adopting, Fostering & Stepparenting


One of God’s favorite ways to expand our capacity to love is through our families. No matter how big our hearts are at the start, they can always grow bigger. Many special family circumstances challenge parents to do more than they think they ever possibly could. Challenges like big families, special-needs children, adopting, fostering, and stepparenting can all be transformed into channels of God’s all-powerful grace.


As Manny and Karee say in Chapter Nine of The Four Keys, they feel surrounded by everyday heroes called to be extraordinary parents. “Whereas we have six kids, many of our friends have more — into the double digits. Several of our friends have children with a range of special needs, including autism, Down syndrome, and muscular dystrophy. We have watched other friends struggle with the cross of infertility and then turn that cross into a blessing by adopting or fostering children in need …. Still other people we know have turned stepparenting into an act of selfless love,” they say.


Chapter Nine talks about all these special family circumstances, explaining how:

  • large families are a sign of God’s blessing and the parents’ generosity
  • every human life, even if weak and suffering, is a splendid gift
  • adopting or fostering a child is an expression of spiritual fruitfulness
  • stepparenting shows great openness of heart

Conversation Starters


You can use the following conversation starters to get a discussion going between yourselves or in a small group. If it helps, think it over on your own time, take it to prayer, and jot down your answers before talking about them.



1.  What particular challenges do you think large families or blended families face? What families do you know who have managed such challenges successfully?




2.  Do you have friends whose children have special needs? What strikes you about the role the child plays in the family?





3. Do you have friends who have chosen to adopt or foster a child? What have you learned from them about what it means to be a family?




4.  Have you considered adopting or fostering children? What about special-needs children? Do you feel called to have a large family, or a larger one than you have now?




Can I Be that Teacher?

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He is that one student you feel you can’t reach. He doesn’t want to participate. He thinks no one likes him. You suspect things are difficult in his personal life and he does not seem to realize his own value. He is a lost boy. He has burned through most of his second chances and some seem ready to give up on him. I can’t.

When I was middle school age, I had a teacher who recognized that I was lost. He reached out to me and saw past my sadness. He changed my life. I also had a kind guidance counselor that showed me gentleness and understanding. They didn’t give up on me, so I can’t let go of the hope I have for my student.

It worries me to see someone so young give up on their future, so I am trying to think outside the box. If you are struggling with a student like mine, here are some ideas:

Pray…really pray for that child. Offer small inconveniences for them, make a holy hour or go to an extra Mass for them.

Greet them as if they were the person you most desired to see that day. Often the people who act the least love able are most in need of love.

Consider the surroundings, perhaps the student needs to sit closer to the front of the class; are there smells or sounds distracting the student that need to be reduced or eliminated.

Explore other ways to present the same information. Are there board games or online games that can convey the lessons for that week? Is the student particularly tactile? Would making posters or clay models be an effective way to teach this child? Can movies or songs aid in teaching your student?

Our Faith teaches that EVERY person has dignity and each life is sacred. I know, dear Catechists, that you live by this daily, but we are all human and we struggle with other humans! We need to pray for each other and for ourselves to have the grace to deal with challenging students. God bless you.
Copyright 2016

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Should Catholic Kids Unplug?

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“All rights reserved”

I try to prepare myself for the tech requests of my kids: Ipods, Ipads, cell phones, laptops….and of course the newest video games and DVDs. In a world where you need to be tech savvy or at least technologically literate, I struggle with the limits to set on some of these devices and influences.

As I have struggled to raise seven kids and a foster son, I have come to some conclusions about the tech world. First, I can’t avoid it. We can limit television, computers and music, but they are everywhere and so is access to them. Second, all my children react differently to the limits placed on them and some will (horror of horrors) disobey me at times. There, I admitted it. I have raised six to adulthood, two more are close behind and I couldn’t do it perfectly. Yup….. I home schooled for years, took them to church, gave them (what I hoped was) a good example, but sometimes they disobeyed anyway.

Social media can also provide a positive tool for some children! One of my kids has a mild form of autism. Social sites helped her to connect in a non-threatening way with some of her peers. This gave her the confidence to interact more freely in person. Another daughter of mine uses her page to promote messages of chastity and a pro-life world view. We do not need to be out of the social media sites, just not negatively influenced by them.

So, with these things in mind, I have a few ideas to help parents and youth ministers tackle these difficult subjects.

1/ Don’t be too rigid. Experience has taught me that when I draw a line in the sand my children will be challenged to cross it. Rather than not having a television, we all watch things together. Instead of saying you can’t watch a particular movie, we may pre-screen it or watch it together and critique it at the end. This becomes a valuable tool for both the young adults and ourselves. They have an environment in which they are getting the benefit of our knowledge and wisdom and we know what they are drawn to watch. As our children have become adults we hope that they will make good choices and this way we can still have some influence over the things they choose.

2/ Help them to become media literate. Often times, information is presented through media purposefully confusing or even imitating truth. Most teens need help sorting this out. Teaching them how commercials are influencing them, or how movies will say, “This movie is based on actual events,” even when it is not, will help discern truth as they discover media. We can teach them critical thinking skills and give them information on websites that critique and rate movies and games for their offensive content.

3/ Join in. Many teens will use a friend’s computer to have a social networking website if they are not allowed one at home. (i.e. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc.) A better tactic might be to allow them to have one on your computer, but keep the computer in an open, family space and require that you have their password. Another idea is to have your own social media and become ‘friends’ with your kids and with their friends. You would be amazed at how much information your teen or other teens will reveal about themselves on a social networking site.

4/ Teach them safety rules. Teens often don’t realize the long-term ramifications of their actions. Consider hosting an in-service on internet safety. Discuss how predators use the internet, how info they post can follow them into job interviews and future relationships. A quick web search will reveal stories of how social media has negatively impacted someone’s life or safety.

Discuss how simple information can provide information that may violate their privacy and compromise safety. For example, a school sport’s picture with their Jersey number can be used to locate a teen. If you have any doubts about how easy it is to gain info, ask any teenage girl how she can locate a guy she has only seen once and even when she doesn’t know his name!

Encourage kids to leave off location services on their mobile devices when using wi-fi, especially in free hotspots. These services advertise where an individual can be found and when.

5/ Discuss being connected. Kids often disconnect their real life behavior from their internet behavior, song choices or movie choices. I know great Catholic kids who listen to violent music about killing and sex. They don’t think the lyrics affect their thinking process. Other teens will go to horribly offensive movies (either highly violent or sexual in nature), still others have fantasy lives on the internet.

Spending time talking about how these things can change thinking and even personalities, may help them discern what things to allow into their own lives.
*If you watch a sadistic, violent movie for two hours, can you really be the same person when you come out of the theater that you were going in?
*If a boy respects women, can he tolerate lyrics that objectify or reflect violence against women?
Opening this type of dialogue will help young people to create an informed conscience. God bless!
Copyright 2015

How My Special Needs Child has Sanctified Me!

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Anya and Me

Anya and Me

I often write about how we can help special needs children learn the faith and help them in their sanctification. Today, I would like to share my personal story of how my special needs child has helped sanctify me.

My sweet Anya-Marie (Elizabeth) Joy is almost sixteen now. Our journey together has been difficult at times, almost unbearable at others, but like her name, she brings me great joy. Within hours after her birth, my husband and I noticed that Anya looked a little odd to us. She seemed to stare off into space. She is our sixth child, so we had some frame of reference on which to base our observations.

At first, we didn’t really worry about what we were seeing, but as time went on, she didn’t accomplish milestones at the same rate that our other children had. She didn’t look at us, she looked above us. She rarely smiled. We couldn’t ignore it anymore… something wasn’t right.

She was only mildly delayed in terms of motor skills, so by four years old she functioned physically quite well, except for extreme sensory integration issues. She was both hyper and hypo sensitive and required physical therapy from age two. She would stomp her feet when she walked, but would also scream if a light went on or a hair touched her body. Blessedly, we had dealt with similar issues with her older sister, so we recognized the problem and got intervention early.

By the time she was four, we were told that she had a low IQ and was moderately developmentally delayed. By age eight a diagnosis of Asperger’s (a mild form of autism) had been added to the list. As is typically with that combination of issues, the world was a threatening place to poor little Anya. She spent most of her time in screaming fits and meltdowns. Life was difficult for our entire family due to managing her problems and still trying to raise a healthy family and maintain a strong marriage.

At one point, an ‘expert’ suggested we find a ‘home’ for her. It was then that we decided to proactively change everything in our lives to help our little girl thrive. We read everything, studied anything, spent countess hours working with Anya. We were supported by some wonderful family and friends who wanted to help us, help her. We developed a plan and strategies, regularly changing them to adapt to her changing needs. We looked at all family outings as potential meltdown scenarios and developed coping and exit strategies when our worst fears materialized.

One of Anya’s safety zones was, well, me! A friend once referred to me as her Rosetta stone, because I could translate her to the world and the world to her. She went everywhere with me. My mom jokingly (and lovingly) called her, “mommy’s little barnacle.” She clung to me all day, everyday. As she got older she would even go to work with me, sitting quietly for hours as I had meetings.

A few years ago, things started to improve. She still went everywhere with me and still wouldn’t venture anywhere except school on her own, but her gifts and talents started to shine through. She has a love for the clarinet. She also has a wonderful gift for caring for small children, especially with children who have disabilities. As I would teach Adult Faith Formation, Anya would care for the children of some of my catechumens. One little boy was non-verbal, autistic. He would jump up and down as soon as he saw her. Anya also has an ability to take beautiful pictures. Her dream is to photograph special needs children.

A few years ago she was Confirmed. She chose Elizabeth as her Confirmation name, very logically, as she was already named after Jesus’ mother and grandmother, why not his cousin too?! She often contributes at youth group, goes on the March for Life and to the Steubenville Youth Conferences (as long as I am one of the chaperones) and will even venture to a friend’s house occasionally now and then.

She has taught our family patience. She has taught us to put another’s needs above our own comfort. We have learned to be flexible, to accommodate her rigidity. All of my children are loving and sensitive to the needs of others, especially to the disabled. She has helped us grown in the love of Christ, as we learned to love the least of our brothers.

She has grown exponentially in the environment of our family and has had a jump in IQ score and social skills. She is still measured as low, but low-average on most scales that measure intelligence and social functioning!

As my little ‘saint-maker’ sits beside me as I drive to work, I realize how much we have shared because she has always been by my side. I recognize that someday, she will be on her own, and that my passenger seat will no longer hold my chatty, constant companion. My heart flies at the knowledge that she has grown, but as I sit here writing this, I am wiping more than a few tears from my eyes. She has succeeded, but maybe I am the one who has grown. Thank you, Anya. We love you!

My Daughter’s Sacrifice

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Every few years, my daughter (with special needs) has a birthday that falls on Good Friday. I have been constantly impressed with her commitment to keep her fast on that day, rather than celebrating her birthday. This child, who often misses the details of how someone feels, or what is appropriate social behavior, never misses this spiritual opportunity to put her faith first.

Sometimes, I can forget the gifts that my child with special needs has, but this is one circumstance where my daughter’s gift of faith shines so brightly that everyone can see it and is drawn to her beautiful inner light.  On the year my Anya-Marie turned thirteen on Good Friday, she explained it this way: “It’s not so bad, cuz we celebrate on Easter and I get a bunny cake.”

It is easy to make excuses to bend the rules on abstinence of meat on Fridays, or convince ourselves that God doesn’t really care about our little sacrifices. However, I think we have it backwards. We say that these things are so small that we can’t imagine Christ would care about them. God sees us and says, These are all such little things; why wouldn’t you increase your relationship with Me over those things? Every act of charity and each act of self-denial adds to the edification of the Body of Christ! They join us to the Lord in His sufferings, strengthen our spiritual muscles, and help us focus on heaven (rather than momentary pleasures of this world).

This year, Anya’s 15th birthday will be on a Sunday! She is so excited to celebrate it. I hope you all have a blessed Lenten season and enjoy the glory of the resurrection, the way I know my daughter will! God bless!

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Mary Lou Rosien

Sink or Swim

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swimWhen I was a very young child, my dad took me out onto Canandaigua Lake. He put out his arm and let me rest on it while I kicked my arms and legs around trying to swim. After a few minutes, he pulled his arm out from under me and walked away! I was terrified, desperate as I kicked and moved about in the water trying to chase after him… I swam.

He knew that I would find a way to stay afloat and although I momentarily felt abandoned, I knew he wouldn’t really let any harm come to me. I felt this way when I heard about Pope Benedict’s resignation. At first I was sad, scared, but soon reasoning took over and I realized that he would not leave us in harm’s way. God, our Father, my Abba, had a plan and we would swim until He revealed it to us.

This development has given me new insights into Lent and even the suffering at the crucifixtion. I have pondered how the apostles felt on that Good Friday. They knew there was more, this was the Messiah after all, but they must have felt alone and even a little abandoned. They had to hold their breath and trust. Just as we have to trust now.

I have also sought a deeper Lenten experience due to these unexpected circumstances. We have a new opportunity to offer our sacrifices up for the current Pope, the new Pope and the Catholic Church! That brought me to thinking about what a sacrifice is…

Is it a sacrifice giving up meat on Fridays, only to replace it with a huge fish fry at your local church? How can we really dig deeper to give something up so that we are a little uncomfortable? What can I personally give up this year to challenge myself and increase my discipline and self-control? What can I add to give something back to The Lord and to the Holy Church He left us?

In our diocese we are particularly challenged this Lent, as we are not just without a pope, but we currently are without a bishop as well. So, it is time to trust, sacrifice and to swim. God, our Father, will not let harm come to His people, but He is providing an opportunity for us to strengthen our Lenten practices and deepen our faith. We have the opportunity to grow in, what Pope Benedict calls, this Year of Faith. God bless you.

Pickles, Puppies, and Prayers

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I apologize for my absence from AC for the last few months. My husband has been struggling with some medical issues and going back and forth to specialists has been time consuming, difficult and more than a little stressful. I must admit, it has been difficult to believe that God has a plan in all this, but I am putting my faith in Him nonetheless. We have found, through these trials, that God does work in mysterious ways.

My husband is suffering from several issues including severe muscle cramping/weakness (some kind of neuro-muscular disease)and hypertension (a dangerously high blood pressure). The irony in all this, is that he is a pain management specialist and spends his work day listening to others complain about their pain while struggling with his own.

One of my husband’s patients told him that pickle juice or vinegar decreases the duration of cramps. One night, in desperation, he decided to give it a try. Much to our surprise, it helped. It is not a cure-all, and he still suffers, but it helps a little (and we will take even a little). God speaks.

A few months ago, my husband’s dog (and best friend), Max, passed away. He has been so lost without his beloved pal. So, right before Christmas I took my hubby to the local pound and found him a new best friend. We adopted a little lab/retriever and named her Daisy. He just loves her and his blood pressure has come down. God speaks

Through this constant pain, my husband and I have learned to turn even more over to the Lord in prayer. My husband offers up his pain for the conversion of others to the Church and for the decreased suffering of others, as well. We struggle for answers physically and spiritually, but we trust that the Lord has some sort of plan in all this. Again, God speaks… what we didn’t expect is that we would find answers in pickles, puppies, and prayers.