Amazing Catechists

Teaching and learning the faith together

Catholic Friendship Teaches Forgiveness

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It’s a beautiful day on the Belmont Abbey College campus, but within Room 105A of the O’Connell dorms a storm is rumbling. The hum of the air conditioner is irritating me, and I’ve re-read the same sentence three times. I want to clear my throat, but I don’t want to make any noise. My roommate Lilly is sitting on her bed across from me, and she and I are both glued determinedly to our copies of St. Augustine’s Political Writings. Lilly and I are currently not speaking to each other, as we have just had a heated disagreement and are now sitting in deafening silence. Maintaining this silence is difficult for me, since I can rarely hit the five-minute mark without saying something to Lilly. I’d love to tell her about who I saw at breakfast, or the good grade I just got, or at least ask her if we could have our friend Maya over tonight… but I’m not about to sacrifice my dignity and go crawling back. Instead, I’ll give her the silent treatment. Once Lilly notices how unusually quiet I’m being, she’ll realize that I’m mad, and then she’ll feel bad. But I won’t spare her a glance, and will instead wordlessly continue my homework with noble suffering.  

Lilly puts on her headphones. 

Drat. She’s not going to notice that I’m sulking if she’s busy listening to music. I need to accidentally-on-purpose get her attention. I try throwing a sock clear across the room and into my hamper, but sadly this is too regular an occurrence for Lilly to glance up. Perhaps I should take a more direct approach?  

“Hey,” Lilly says as she moves her headphones off one ear. 

“Yeah, what’s up?” I respond in what I hope is a miffed tone. 

“What’re the pages we’re reading for Dr. Hren?” 

“24-46.” 

“Okay that’s what I thought, thanks.” 

“Yep.” 

“Yeah.” 

Lilly puts her headphones back on. 

Okay, that made some waves. Unfortunately though, I’m not feeling sweet revenge. I’m feeling uncomfortable. My misery is going unacknowledged, and, for some reason, Lilly is acting as if nothing were the matter. I’m just sitting on my bed, disgruntled, in my own personal cloud of dejection. I should be doing my homework, but my mood is making it difficult to focus. As I grab my room key and walk to the bathroom, I try to worry less about Lilly and more about my midterm grade for Dr. Hren’s class. 

I’m sitting down on my bed, post-bathroom trip, and realize something’s been placed on my copy of Political Writings. What is that, a bug? I squint: it’s an Oreo. 

“Hey, Lilly?” 

“What’s up?” Lilly takes her headphones off. 

I hold up the Oreo. “Is this for me?” 

“Yes!” Lilly looks at me with a smile kind enough to make me feel like garbage. “I’m sorry I upset you earlier, and I wanted to cheer you up.”  

“Oh,” I consider the Oreo in my hand. “Thank you,” followed by a weak smile. 

Lilly beams at me before putting her headphones back on. I eat the Oreo, feeling stupid. This Saturday’s argument with Lilly had taught me a valuable lesson that I would not forget: forgiveness. 

This Oreo olive branch became the solution to our disagreements. Lilly would leave an Oreo on my bed, or my book, or simply hand it to me, or in some cases where emphasis was needed, chuck it at my head. But the Oreo would always come with an apology that, like the Oreo itself, I couldn’t help but accept. It wasn’t long before I picked up on this practice. If I used Lilly’s mug without asking, or left our window open and bugs got in, or I spilled Gatorade on her copy of The Theban Plays, I’d offer her an Oreo.  

While I don’t remember what Lilly and I were arguing about that Saturday, I do remember that she forgave me, and in doing so taught me how to apologize like a Catholic instead of sulk like a heathen. Asking for someone’s forgiveness requires more than an Oreo; it requires humility, and that you acknowledge what you did wrong. But I realized that it’s better to lose your pride than to lose your friend, and that while requesting forgiveness isn’t pleasant, it’s a lot more palatable when there’s an Oreo involved. I was able to focus on my homework a lot more easily, too, which Dr. Hren was thankful for. Forgiveness truly makes the world go ‘round. 

 

Your Talent, God’s Purpose: FREE Event

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Greetings, Friends!

Talent awareness improves professional performance, relationships, and teams–which translates into all spheres: marriage, ministry, and business.

As a certified coach specializing in cultivating natural strengths, I feel deeply called to the mission of helping Catholics really shine in this dark world–now more than ever. I’m passionate about helping them to ditch misunderstandings and false shame about their talents, stand with confidence in God’s design for their lives, and experience the growth and enthusiasm that comes with that holy and humble clarity.

To that end, I’ve started doing free online events, and this month’s is called, “Wonderfully Made: Your Talent. God’s Purpose.”

Timing

We will start at 8:00 pm ET on November 12th, in my Zoom room, and run about 60 minutes. If people want to stay and chat or ask questions beyond that point, I’ll linger, but my prayer and presentation together should be no more than 30 minutes, with time for people to get settled beforehand and Q&A afterwards rounding out the hour.

Access

The Zoom link and password are at the bottom of this post.

Those of you who sign up here by midnight November 11, will receive a reminder the day of the event. No registration is needed, but you’ll need to be on my mailing list to receive a reminder.

 

Invite Your Lists

I’d be grateful for any support, especially prayer, and your presence would be wonderful. You’ll probably see this invitation in other places, too, as I get the word out. I’d appreciate your help with sharing.

FYI, my primary audience tends to be Catholic women, but I also work with and welcome men, teens, young adults, and people of other faiths (as long as they’re not hostile to Catholicism). Feel free to share this with anyone you think might be interested.

Again, this is a free opportunity to have fun learning, to share your own insights, and to help me discover how best to serve our community.

Thank you, so much!

Blessings,

Lisa Mladinich

Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach

lisa@mladinich.com

Join Zoom Meeting at 8:00 pm ET, November 12th

https://zoom.us/j/6312359340

Password: 111220

Meeting ID: 631 235 9340

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Find your local number: https://zoom.us/u/aby0eSKFD5

 

Looking for God? Now is the Time.

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We have all heard the warning about “living in the past.”  It’s not a wise thing to do.

I know that I often catch myself dwelling on this or that decision from years or even decades ago.  When this happens I find myself rehashing my reasons and rationales like some broken record.

There is no doubt that 20/20 hindsight can be a cruel partner, poking us every now and then.   Armed with the clarity of knowing results and consequences we torture ourselves wondering how we could not see the results of our actions or decisions way back when.

Not to be outdone, of course, are the ever-popular apprehensions about the future. After all, is not the future merely a blind curve teeming with unexpected traps and problems? Yet we rush  toward manholes and cliffs we will not see until it is too late.

Between the haunting past and the foreboding future, we have a ready-made plate of worries and ruminations at our disposal.  What we need to realize sooner better than later, however, is that God is neither in our rear-view mirror nor is He at the end of the blind curve that is our future.

Dwelling In The Past

There is a clear distinction between dwelling in the past as opposed to learning from the past.  The word “dwelling” means a home or where one resides or lives. It is not constructive, and it’s even destructive, to constantly live in the past.

Whether we constantly reflect on positive or negative memories and experiences, the mere fact that we keep re-visiting that past takes away from our focus on the present.  Spending all day thinking about my great high school experiences does little to improve my present situation.  Likewise, obsessing over the mistakes or poor choices I made in the past only tends to beat me down.

Of course there is nothing wrong with mentally glancing back at our past highlights or low points. The problem occurs when we dwell or entrench ourselves in a time which we cannot change now.  We gain nothing, and even retreat, when we define ourselves by our past, bad or good.  When we define ourselves by our past, we perpetuate that past far beyond its beneficial role in our lives.  The past should inform, and not define, our present and future.

Learning From The Past

God wants us to learn and grow toward our destiny with Him. But we cannot learn and grow if we wrap ourselves in our past.  Obsessing over past glory only invites complacency, presumption, stagnation, or even arrogance. Obsessing over past stumbles or hurts only brings  depression, resentment, regret, and even bitterness.  No matter how you look at it, the past that is obsessed over is a moral minefield most mortal humans cannot traverse safely.

We should use the past as a teacher for enhancing our future. The only thing worse than a mistake is a mistake one does not learn from and may even repeat.  Reflecting on past errors and taking steps to avoid those errors again is never a bad thing.  When we reflect on our past mistakes, we bring the wisdom of the past to our present.  When we dwell on the past, however, we drag our present to that past.

The Past is an Unhealthy Neighborhood

The past can be dangerous turf teeming with regret, remorse, resentment, revenge, bitterness, and ingratitude.  Armed with 20/20 hindsight, we see results and consequences that we could never have anticipated back then. Obsessing over what we should or could have done or what we did not do goes way past the productive stage.

Forgiving others or ourselves can be very difficult, if not impossible, for those wrapped in the past.  It is also practically impossible to appreciate the present if we are preoccupied with the past.  The devil wants us to sink in the past’s cesspool of vice and hopelessness.

Ultimately, those mired in the past cannot let go because they cannot trust in God’s mercy.

Leave The Future to God

Dwelling in the past is an invitation to be ungrateful for what we have and mistrustful of God’s Divine Mercy. At the same time, worrying about the future can be an invitation to be mistrustful of God’s Divine Providence.

While there is nothing wrong with glancing at our future and reflecting on our plans and hopes, this is very different from being anxious or even petrified of what that future will bring.  If the past is teeming with the potential for regret, then the future is overflowing with the potential for fear.

God wants us to learn from our past and plan for our future with joyful trust, acceptance, and gratitude for His many blessings. We are closest to God when we humbly ask for forgiveness for our stumbles and humbly embrace God’s Will for our lives.  Learn from your past and leave it to God.  Embrace your future and entrust it to God as well.

“Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.” (Mt 6:34)

Find God in The Present

Fulton Sheen once observed that much of our unhappiness stems from excessive concentration in the past and extreme preoccupation with the future.  We cannot change the past.  We only have the potential to either simmer in it or learn from it.  Similarly, we cannot predict the future.  We only have the opportunity to become paralyzed before it or to embrace it by trusting in God.

God is found in our present moments.  He is present among the countless souls we daily encounter in great need for kindness, compassion, and love.  He is present in the wonders of nature that surround us each today.  Each moment is an opportunity to get closer to God in small and immense ways.  We can only relieve pain, loneliness, hopelessness, and sorrow in the present.  We can only reach out to wandering hands in search of a caring touch in the present.

Prayers about the past tend to apologize or hope. Prayers about the future tend to petition.  Prayers in the present, however, are the most opportune way to praise and thank the Creator.

Embrace each moment as an opportunity for salvation. Sanctify each moment with humble contentment and acceptance. Do not waste or tarnish each moment with apathy, or ingratitude.  Let God always be your answer to now.

2020  Gabriel Garnica

Follow that Star!

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In this Octave of Christmas, St. John the Apostle lovingly reminds us why we celebrated the birth of Jesus only five days ago: “…because your sins have been forgiven.” (1 John 2:12)  What a reason to celebrate!

St. John shows us a strong contrast between man’s covetousness for worldly enticements, which is governed by the devil, and the way revealed by the Father through our Messiah, Jesus. God gave us a Savior because we’ve all failed terribly, and as sinners, need to repent. Once we understand the role of Jesus in our broken world, we can truly rejoice at Christmas!

But alas, the day after we celebrated Christ’s birth, our love for the world drew many of us away from the love of God and back to the after-Christmas sales and return lines, still searching for that perfect gift. Even now, opened presents lie abandoned under the tree, waiting to be stripped of their tags and stashed into closets or cupboards – the “must-haves” we couldn’t live without. So, where is the gift we didn’t find under the tree?

The Holy Spirit gave us 365 days’ worth of priceless lessons, yet many of us missed the target again and continue to search. The infant Jesus has come! It’s still not too late to reflect on the year and ask our newborn Savior to take us deeper into the journey and help us find the peace we seek, for “…the world and its enticement are passing away.” (1 John 2:17)

Again the true meaning of Christmas struggled to reach far too many hearts. Let’s stretch farther to find those searching hearts and share with them the joy and peace we’ve found in the birth of Jesus who came to save us, and all together follow that shining star into the New Year!

Elizabeth

Blessed 2020!

Today’s Readings: http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/123019.cfm

What is Your Eternal Job Description? The Lesson of Martha and Mary

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The recent gospel story of Martha and Mary (LK 10: 38-42) is one of the most powerful and profound expressions of an eternal struggle many of us face on a daily basis.  People grapple with their ‘job descriptions’ every single day, just like Martha was doing.

Quite often our job description is about as secular as it can get.  We focus on what we need to focus on to succeed in this world. The next day, however, we sway toward a crooked, but hopefully sincere, struggle to define our ‘eternal’ job as saving our own souls and those of others while serving and loving God and others.

While a certain amount of shuffling between a secular and our sacred, eternal job description is allowed in our daily pilgrimage through this world toward God, we must always take stock and adjust.  We need to maintain the overall direction of our efforts – facing due Heaven and not due earth. What are the signs that we are straying toward earth more than toward Heaven in this daily struggle?

Burdens

In Luke’s gospel,  Martha feels burdened by her earthly tasks and complains to Our Lord. Whatever earthly loads we may be carrying, feeling burdened certainly seems par for the course regarding all of them.  Earthly tasks carry physical, emotional, psychological, social, financial, practical, and many other kinds of burdens.  As physical beings, we will certainly feel those burdens on a regular basis.

Our burdens can surely tire, frustrate, and exasperate us.  While it is both normal and expected that we will all feel these strains from time to time, there is a high correlation between our eternal job description and just how much and how regularly we are feeling such burdens.  Those with an earthly focus will tend to feel more and increasingly burdened by these loads because earthly burdens tend to seem all-consuming and endless.

In fact, earthy burdens sometimes seem insurmountable and pointless.  They can overwhelm us.  We can feel lost as to how to handle them, and wonder how they can possibly lead us to any good.  A couple consumed and obsessed with buying a home, for example, may pull themselves in all directions trying to save for their goal.  They can even lose hope that they will ever achieve it in the light of their difficulties.

Isolation and Abandonment

Martha also expressed resentment that Our Lord did not care about her plight.  Martha felt she was being left all alone to deal with her burden. Once we become distracted or lost in an earthly focus, however, we measure and judge according to the dictates and standards of this world and not of God.  Negative, earthly feelings such as resentment, anger, bitterness, and jealousy creep in.  These secular standards and measures tell us that we are getting the short end of the stick and even being treated unfairly by God and others.  Ironically, we will feel isolated and abandoned by God and others precisely because our self-obsession and warped self-pity will not allow us to find fulfillment or joy in focusing on the needs of others.

It is easy to see that Martha was only focused on herself in this situation.  She was feeling unfairly treated and did not care to see anything other than that view of the situation.  Martha even went as far as to judge and question Our Lord’s stance in all of this!  Do we not do the same when we pray for something and then resent it when we feel our prayers are not answered?

Enticing Others to Our Mistake

Martha’s resentment and frustration led her to ask Our Lord to make Mary join her in her mistake!   I have often read that one of the devil’s greatest delights in pushing us to sin is successfully convincing us to join in his mistake of rejecting God.  Misery loves company, and Martha’s self-obsession leads her to demand that Our Lord order Mary to make the same mistake that she has made.  This warped delusion of self and righteousness goes as far as pretending that one’s foolishness is actually one’s enlightenment and that others should follow one’s “light.”

Our Lord tells Martha that she is worried and anxious about pointless things that will not ultimately amount to a hill of beans to her eternity. We stray from the path to Our Lord to the extent that we seek our treasure among things that do not lead us to him.  Washing dishes and making beds are not inherent evils.  Fixing the car and installing a new garage door opener are not inherently bad.  Fixing the air conditioning and paying our bills are not superficial and useless tasks.  However, while we should focus on and accomplish these things as we can, we must never reach the point of worrying and obsessing over these tasks and duties as if they are all that matters. Such worry and obsession only pushes God to the background for another day.

Where is God to You?

When we become fixated with things of this world over what matters to heaven, we tend to push heaven to the background and even change how, and even if, we see God at all.  If you see God as some sugar daddy who will come to your rescue whenever you need Him, you have lost the proper place of God in your life.  Frankly, I am not sure which is worse:  forgetting God or distorting what God is.  If God is not found in your preoccupation or consideration of some issue or burden, then perhaps you are mired in an overly earthly focus.

The story of Martha and Mary reminds us that we have a daily choice to embrace God or this earth.  Too many times, we become so wrapped up in accomplishing what this world expects or even what we think this world expects that we forget what God expects from us.  While doing our best to fulfill our tasks and duties in this world is important, we can never allow those tasks and duties to displace God as the center of our lives and focus.

Always place God first, place your earthly burdens before Him, and trust that He will guide you through these struggles!

2019  Gabriel Garnica

Advent #GIVEAWAY and Interview With #aromaRosary Inventor, Chantal Howard

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UPDATE: Comments were turned off by accident but are now ON. Feel free to enter! So sorry for any inconvenience!–Lisa

Guadalupe Rosary Bracelet

Beloved Readers, we have an exciting and unusual giveaway: an Our Lady of Guadalupe rosary bracelet that diffuses essential oils, as you pray!!! Talk about awesome!

TO ENTER, please tell us in the comments why you would like to win!

The popular Our Lady of Guadalupe aromaRosary Bracelet will be awarded on December 12th, on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, so enter right away!

And start praying the Novena to Our Lady, which starts today (December 4th)!

 

Now, meet aromaRosary’s inventor, Chantal Howard! 

Welcome, Chantal! Please give us just a few glimpses into your world so that we can get to know you a bit more personally.

I am a Byzantine Catholic by birth, giving me a great love for icons, chant, and the Divine Liturgy. I am an oblate of the Community of St. John and, therefore, identify myself as Eucharistic, Marian, Seeker of Truth, and devotee of all things truly Catholic. I have a charismatic side, a traditional Latin-loving, veil-wearing side. Above all, I want to live a life of prayer, holiness, and heroic virtue. The New Evangelization is knit into who I am.

Rosa Mystica Rosary Bracelet

Chantal HowardI have been married for nearly 15 years to the man of my Jane-Austin-like dreams.  I can truthfully say Peter and I are a work in progress.  But I rejoice in the Mercy of God that is helping us to put lofty ideas of love into practice with greater gratitude and tenderness. I love that I get to share life with a man of such conviction, passion, and fidelity – to me, to Our Lady, and to Our Lord.

My five children are the pure light of my life. We homeschool.  I admit, though, that our homeschool has been interdependent with much family collaboration and even part-time school going opportunities to help round out our family dynamic, allowing for me to be as active in work as I am.  This is the nature of the “School of the Family,” as it has developed for us. The desire to nurture them in health, in mind, in spirit, and in creativity and joy is foundational and much of that I can give to them, but I also realize that I am not fully sufficient alone.  I laugh when I hear the not so popular expression, “It takes a village to raise a child,” and yet can we really deny the fact?  So, we had better choose our villages carefully.  In our case, our family is our village, and so we have recently relocated to Northern Idaho to be near all my siblings and my mother so that we can foster our kids in the context of family, faith, farming, good food, and adventure.

Tell us about the nature of your work.

Victory Heirloom aromaRosary

My Grandaddy began the entrepreneurial streak in our family as an inventor. My mom and dad firmed it up by building a family business. I grew up helping to answer phone calls, strategize marketing plans and work in the field. As my mom homeschooled me, this practical work in business became second nature. Since then, I have not ceased drumming up new ventures. Ministry, writing, dōTERRA, and my family have offered platforms to launch entrepreneurial dreams in more directions than I ever imagined – Catholicpreneur style. In addition, as a young person I was a highly competitive gymnast and high-level athlete, in several arenas.  This promoted a lifestyle of fitness and wholesomeness that has been a steady undercurrent in my life. Together, these life experiences have brought me to where I am today as a “natural solution coach.” I help families find health and happiness through an essential oil-inspired wellness lifestyle, without New Age overtones.

Where did your passion for the rosary begin, and why do you see it as such an important mission to bring to the world?

As a young person my parents rested all their hope of us remaining a faithful family on the prayer of the Holy Rosary. Through their inspiration, we began early chanting the rosary in a Byzantine style, and I have never turned back from loving the rosary and wanting to bring it to life as—not just a prayer but—an experience that helps us traverse from our earthly dimension to the spiritual plain of contemplation.  (You can check out the audio CD in the Byzantine style that we produced as a family, here.)

How did your passion for essential oils and the rosary together take shape?

The Rosary is a gift that has been given to all of humanity to heal our wounded nature.  It offers us a way to ascend to the heights of our calling as children of God by tethering our fidgeting hands, our wandering minds, and our wayward souls to the life of Christ. In light of my work coaching so many people who are wounded physically and emotionally, the support of essential oils tied to the rosary struck me as a natural bridge.

A few years ago, Immaculée Ilibagiza spoke to my heart, as she shared her story of suffering and triumph through the power of the rosary with 30,000 other individuals. It just so happened that she was the keynote speaker at a large, global essential oil summit I was attending. As she shared, I marveled at her passion and unhindered dedication to sharing the rosary with the world.  Here, in one moment, two of my greatest loves in life were colliding before my eyes—essential oils and the rosary! As I drove across the county, I reflected on my personal visit with Immaculee, her powerful gesture of throwing her rosary to someone in the crowd, and all I had just learned about the movement of essential oils in health care. My heart overflowed with inspiration and the desire to bring to our hurting world the solace and rich blessings of essential oils and the rosary. Thus this effort was born.

Describe an aromaRosary.

Every aromaRosary is hand-crafted to hold and diffuse essential oils, to expand the prayer experience.  Using natural stones and lava rock and other ceramic, metal, or wood beads, we have designed rosaries that can withstand the intensity of therapeutic grade essential oils that have been chosen carefully to reflect the mysteries of the rosary.  These blends are symbolic and calming, to help promote an atmosphere of prayer.  Together with fingering the beads, chanting the prayers, and smelling the aromas of sanctity, we can more fully engage our senses and focus our prayers.

Unpack for us briefly the four essential oil bends you have chosen.

We use four unique blends. The Joyful Blend is comprised of frankincense and other oils that help create an aroma reminiscent of the Nativity.  The Luminous Blend is a blend of citrus oils that reflect the light and miraculous nature of the Luminous mysteries. The Sorrowful Blend is woody and earthy, with Myrrh and other wood oils that are an aromatic encounter with the cross and the mysteries of Christ’s suffering.  The Glorious Blend offers floral notes and Easteresque aromas that are gentle, soft, and Marian.

Do you have resources that would help others to learn about aromaRosary and your work as a coach and speaker?

Please visit us at aromaRosary.com. We’re having our Advent sale, right now!  I would welcome your comments, your reviews, your support of our efforts, and of course I would love to work with you. I offer coaching and essential oil training.  We have a dynamic Catholic team of essential oils coaches throughout the country and we want you to be a part of what we are doing to heal families and evangelize in the process.

aromaRosary-2.jpg

Thank you, Chantal!

TO ENTER:

Leave a comment below about why you’d like to win the Guadalupe aromaRosary Bracelet! A random drawing will take place on the evening of Wednesday, December 12th.

NOTE: you must have access to a mailing address in the United States, to win!

 

Advent Tips: Manage Time, Reduce Stress, and Have a Happier, Healthier Christmas

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(Note: The following article is based on my recent appearance on Relevant Radio.)

How are we supposed to enjoy Advent, when we’re more rushed and more stressed than ever before in the history of humanity?

Or are we?

Author and popular podcaster Gretchen Rubin shared an excerpt from Little House in the Ozarks, a collection of articles Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote for regional newspapers and magazines in the 1920s while living on a farm in rural Missouri:

“We are so overwhelmed with things these days that our lives are all, more or less, cluttered. I believe it is this, rather than a shortness of time, that gives us that feeling of hurry and almost of helplessness. Everyone is hurrying and usually just a little late. Notice the faces of the people who rush past on the streets or on our country roads! They nearly all have a strained, harassed look, and anyone you meet will tell you there is no time for anything anymore.” —Laura Ingalls Wilder

It sure does seem like managing stress has always been needed! So, let’s consult a couple of experts. I’ll be drawing from Time Management: A Catholic Perspective, by Marshall J. Cook and from a wonderful webinar by Allison Ricciardi, owner of TheRaphaelRemedy.com (tips on stress, using natural remedies—especially essential oils) and Chantal Howard, the owner and creator of AromaRosaries.

Tip #1: Time management isn’t always about a lack of time.

Sometimes we are averse to tasks and they create stress for us because they’re not getting done.

  • Think about them differently (positive reframing)
    1. Instead of “all that decorating” that has to be done, let’s set out to reveal beauty to our families. We’re all a little broken-hearted over someone we love who has left the Church; let’s let God speak through beauty and touch their hearts in unexpected ways.
    2. Instead of procrastinating and griping about all the housework on that to-do list, let’s thank God for a house to clean, clothes to wash, and loved ones to serve!
  • Break the avoidance/overwhelm cycle and schedule the tasks we usually avoid–and stick to the schedule!
  • Science tells us that small rewards to celebrate progress actually impact our brains, boosting creativity and refreshing our minds! So go ahead and buy flowers for yourself, read a few chapters of a good book, or meet a friend for coffee. It’s good for your brain!

Tip #2: When you make time for a task, you don’t actually create more time. You take it from something else.

MAKE TIME: Simplifying as much as you possibly can, to allow for the added activities and tasks of Advent

  • No, you DON’T have to buy them all gifts. (Hear my story in this radio interview!)
  • Ask each person in your family what one thing really makes it feel like Christmas for them, and make sure to do those things.
  • Paring down the card list is just smart. Don’t be a slave to that list you’ve been accumulating for years. Cut it down and save both money and time.
  • Speaking of money, setting a budget and working within it can really brighten your spirits. It’s empowering to take control. Build in a little margin for that special “find” or the person you forgot to put on your list, but stay as close to your budget as possible.
  • SWAP some habitual activities (social media, phone, web surfing) for activities that hold greater value (prayer, time with family, trips outdoors, celebrations, crafting, decorating)
  • Delegate tasks as much as possible (sometimes hire help, if needed). Your family can work as a team, your little ones can learn, and you can be building something a little less perfect than if you did it yourself–but a lot more fun: a happy Christmas that everyone contributed to!
  • Multitask in fun ways. Rather than stressing out and staying up late, plan a time to listen to music or watch a Christmas movie while you bake, write a few cards, or decorate the tree.

Tip #3: Waiting can be a good thing:

  • If you’re stressing out in traffic jams, post-office lines, doctor’s offices–TURN THE WAIT INTO A REST.
    • Stress can restrict our breathing, so–while you wait–let some of that good air God created flow in–and out, and then…
    • Let your mind delve into a beautiful memory (the face of someone you love, a time you felt really happy and peaceful, a scent that lifts your spirits).
    • Face up to what is stressing you out! Picture it vividly–is it a clock spinning its arms wildly, screaming that you’re late?–then imagine it being captured in a translucent bubble and release it–letting it float away.

Tip #4: Self-Care, so Everyone is Feeling Good on Christmas Day

  • Stay hydrated for healthy body systems
  • Eating early and fasting late: a great rule for weight and energy control
  • Vitamin D: even in small daily doses, D is great for mood regulation and weight loss
  • Get outside! Spending time outdoors provides short-term benefits by relieving mental fatigue and long-term benefits by improving your overall health
  • Grazing with small snacks throughout the day is healthier than 3 squares plus snacks
  • Rest when you’re weary (NAPS are a great idea at any age and can do you a world of good)
  • Limit TV and go to bed on time–just do it!
  • Schedule the hard stuff. Plan to do the most challenging tasks during your peak energy/focus hours. This is very individual, so take a good look at your planner and rearrange it to fit your natural rhythms, as much as possible.
  • Oils work wonders!
    • lemon or other citrus oils support metabolism and help detox the body
    • lavender is calming, healing, and helps reduce inflammation and infection
    • frankincense, which is used in churches, enhances meditation, relaxation, builds immunity, refreshes the skin
    • diffuse oils to clear out pathogens in the home
      • cinnamon leaf
      • clove
      • lemon, grapefruit, wild orange
      • tea tree (melaleuca)
      • oregano
      • sage
      • rosemary
      • thyme
      • eucalyptus
      • frankincense
  • (For tons more information on boosting health and wellbeing with essential oils, from a Catholic perspective, see TheRaphaelRemedy.com)

Tip #5: For More of That Wonderful Christmas Spirit

  • What is your best quiet time? Schedule morning or evening prayer, daily throughout Advent (and hopefully beyond)
  • JUST 5-10 minutes of reading, daily (choose a cool Catholic book). Here are some hearty recommendations:
  • In the CAR, your spirit will go far: Prayer CDs, beautiful music, the Rosary–use your travel time for reveling in the beauty and wonder of the season.

Bonus Tip: Here’s a Super-Cool Catholic Gift Idea–Rosaries that diffuse essential oils!!!

These AromaRosary gifts are beneficial to your health and your spiritual life, and the owners are faithful Catholics who support beautiful ministries with their business!

AromaRosaries:

  • Crafted to Diffuse Essential Oils
  • Solid Bronze Metal Crucifix and Center
  • 4 Sample Oils with Every Rosary
  • Every Rosary Blesses a Ministry

Have a blessed and beautiful Advent!

[Stock images from Pixabay.com]

Interview With Catholic Speaker, Hudson Byblow

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Lisa: Hudson, you’ve done wonderful work promoting the need for all people to grow in virtue, rather than falling for the culture’s increasingly bizarre and limiting sexuality labels. Your new Lighthouse CD, titled, In Pursuit of My Identity: Homosexuality, Transgenderism, and My Life, is terrific!

What would you say are the most important facts for people to ponder about human sexuality—specifically regarding same-sex-attractions and gender identity —at this stage in our history as Catholics?

Hudson: All glory be to God. Aside from learning how to be present with a person in a pastoral moment, there is also the aspect of educating the people within our church overall. This is important because we all contribute to the overall environment that people grow into. Education on any topic typically includes an enhanced understanding of language, and on this topic, that is no exception. Needless to say, there is a lot of work to be done. After all, we could never expect to fully understand the meaning of a song if we didn’t know the lyrics, so it would only make sense that we at least try to understand the lyrics to the “song of the Church” in a more profound way as well.

The Nuances

First, I think it would help if we examined linguistic nuances pertaining to attractions/inclinations. For example, if we speak about attractions/inclinations as something people experience instead of something people have, we introduce the nuance of non-permanence. For many people, becoming aware of that nuance can be life-changing. It helps them understand that they are not necessarily destined to experience those attractions/inclinations forever. Though the attractions/inclinations a person experiences might not transform over time, a sense of impermanence can definitely shift their expectations of themselves, and that shift matters because it impacts how a person chooses to live. Note that none of what I said has anything to do with the objective of “changing from gay to straight” (or any type of therapy that has that as an objective). It does, however, have to do with opening our hearts and minds to other possibilities beyond the narrative of this day.

Second, I think it is more important than ever to clarify attractions/inclinations experienced from sexual/romantic attractions/inclinations experienced. This is because not all attractions/inclinations are sexual or romantic in nature. However, our society imposes that expectation by romanticizing/sexualizing nearly all relationships, and so many people absorb that expectation and integrate their responses to attractions/inclinations through that lens. Truthfully, I think the world would change overnight if people came to realize that not all attractions/inclinations are sexual/romantic in nature. I can see it reducing the probability that people would feel the need to “explore” to find out. People could again experience true friendship and closeness without wondering if that meant they were gay (or the second “Q” in LGBTQQ, which stands for “Questioning”). Further, sexual/romantic exploration tends to feel good (it feels good to be held, cared for, and chosen), so the consequence of romantic/sexual exploration may very well be a flood of “good feelings” that may influence how a person comes to view themselves. I would imagine this to be especially true if that exploration was with a person of the same sex because our culture seems to be overtly supportive of exploration in that way at this time.

Third, it would be valuable if people began to talk about attractions/inclinations in terms of appetites—and particular attractions/inclinations as particular appetites. Consider the following: We all have an appetite for pleasing sounds, but only some have particular appetites for certain types of music. We all have an appetite for food, but only some have particular appetites for certain types of food. We all have an appetite for relationships (of some sort), but only some have particular appetites for certain types of relationships—perhaps involving certain types of people. The particulars of any appetite are influenced by the environment we are soaking in – an idea first presented to me by an LGBTQ activist of all people!

Appetites are transformed by our experiences and the world knows this. When we experience something we don’t like, our appetite to continue experiencing it decreases. This could be with particular foods, or particular relationships. I know this first-hand for after I was sexually abused by a male while in my teens, I also experienced this; my particular appetite to be around men in a close way was pretty much annihilated (even though I still desired to belong within the fold of men). Because appetites transform based on the whole of our experiences (and the whole of our environment, according to what that LGBTQ activist told me), it seems sensible that transitioning to speaking about attractions/inclinations as appetites is something that the world does not want. If this shift did begin to occur, and if it caught on to the point where that type of language was embraced by a critical mass of people, then society would be made even further aware of how particular appetites are not static. The result is that people would more easily see that statements claiming people are “created that way” (with particular appetites) are false. This is in line with that that LGBTQ activist shared with me when he told me that “environment plays a factor in the development of our attractions.”

Of course, revealing the falsehood of static particular appetites is not for the purpose of calling out a person who says that being gay is “who they are,” but rather so that we can provide a hope for those who are ready (or near ready) to walk away from those types of identities and their associated narratives even if their particular appetites still persist. It’s merely about being able to see oneself in a different light, which matters because how we see ourselves influences what we perceive we ought to do to pursue fulfillment. And many people are burnt out from a pursuit of fulfillment that has simply never given them the satisfaction they thought they would experience. Many of these people have spoken to me about their newfound freedom after departing from their prior way of seeing themselves as LGBTQ+. All of them had felt trapped where they were, and it was through clarified language (introduced lovingly and appropriately) that they were able to see a way out of it. For many, it has allowed them to re-center their identity on Christ, who they have come to know loves them more than they ever could have imagined. When I think of joy, I think of what radiates from the hearts of these people.

Now, if we strive to elevate the language to include these types of nuances, perhaps we could in some small way help bring that experience to others. Given the joy they now experience, I hope and pray that everyone might open their hearts to growing in their understanding of this topic. I know that I have a lot of room to grow as well. Again, real people with real hearts are who await us in the world. Let us never forget that.

Lisa: Thank you, Hudson! You always present ideas that are both sound and refreshing, and I’m so glad you’re out there speaking and teaching!

Folks, order a few copies of Hudson’s Lighthouse CD to share around!

 

Courageous Choices; Conversations about Same Sex Attraction

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I recently had the opportunity to hear a speaker at a youth event from Courage International. Courage is a Roman Catholic Apostolate, “whose members are men and women who experience same-sex attractions and who have made a commitment to strive for chastity. They are inspired by the Gospel call to holiness and the Catholic Church’s beautiful teachings about the goodness and inherent purpose of human sexuality.”

These are difficult times for catechists. What the Catholic Church teaches regarding sexuality is opposed to what society is forcing on our students. Teaching the beauty of authentic love (during a time when the daily news cycle demonstrates that some within the Church did not faithfully live that teaching) is difficult. Courage International teaches Catholic truth without apology. What can catechists learn from this?

Teach Truth with Love

I was impressed by the love and compassion expressed by the speaker towards those who are struggling with same-sex attraction. He emphasized that we must change this discussion from homosexuality to human sexuality; “The truth spoken without love is more dangerous than a thousand lies, but love spoken without truth is the most dangerous lie of all,” he stated.

He further explained that gender is an important part of this new discussion on sexuality. Then pointing out that we know gender is eternal when you consider the examples of Jesus’ Ascension and Mary’s Assumption ~ when their earthly bodies, male and female, entered heaven! We understand that the resurrection of the body is of the body God gave us. This body will someday be in heaven; we cannot ignore how important God’s design of the human body is.  This is completely counter to what society is currently saying regarding gender fluidity (the idea that gender is not set).

It is important to reject straw-man arguments that begin, “The Church should be more welcoming to (LGBTQ) people.” The Catholic Church welcomes ALL people! It is important to meet everyone where they are, but throughout history the Church has led people to a better place, a place of holiness. Jesus always showed love to people struggling with life choices, then he encouraged them to, “go and sin no more.” Catechists must teach as Jesus did.

Teach Facts not Emotions

In a thoughtful article regarding gender fluidity and science, Margaret Wente states:

‘It seems ridiculous to have to argue this, but the science is settled. The two biological sexes (and there are only two) are broadly (though by no means perfectly) coterminous with gender. This holds for nearly every species in the animal kingdom, even us, and for all societies on Earth. Close to 100 percent of the human race is born with a set of either male or female chromosomes. A small number of people are born with chromosomal and/or reproductive abnormalities, and these people are commonly identified as “intersex.”

If a person is convinced that they are attracted to the same sex, we must emphasize that many behaviors we are drawn to may be unhealthy for us. For example, certain people are predisposed to alcoholism, but we do not encourage people to be alcoholics because it would not be best for them. That is precisely why the Catholic Church teaches that chastity is the only healthy (physical and spiritual) option for someone who is attracted to the same sex.

Provide a Safe, Truth-Filled Environment

The Courage International Speaker put forth the theory that we have become a co-dependent society, enabling a dysfunction rather than teaching truth and helping others. Any catechist/youth minister who works with young people may be able to recognize the contrast in how truth is currently defined by society. Compare how we handle a young person with anorexia to one struggling with same-sex attraction or gender confusion. We would never just say that a person with anorexia is “born that way” (although they may be biologically predisposed to that disorder) or that we should “accept their reality.” We recognize that the young person’s behavior may be damaging or dangerous for their future well-being. We speak truth and we guide those young people towards assistance in working through difficult issues.

The question is not which gender you are or what sex you are attracted to; the question is, Do you know your value and worth exactly the way God created you? He has a purpose for each of you just the way you are. How do we help our students realize the part they play in this beautiful plan?

Know the Causes of Confusion

The speaker expressed the idea that sometimes, in searching for love and companionship, young people who have an early, pleasurable physical experience can identify that with a particular sexual persuasion, just because the tactile senses were triggered in a positive way. Many sexual experiences do give us positive feelings; that alone should not be a determining factor when considering sexuality.

Catechists should encourage young people to focus on developing as human beings, rather than trying to identify themselves first as sexual beings. Many of these young people are stating a sexual preference (or preferred gender identity) before they have even reached puberty, much less completed the process of full brain development (at around age 24 years). Many studies show that (especially in the area of gender confusion) young people will eventually identify sexually with their appropriate gender by their early twenties. A recent article by the American College of Pediatricians lists the serious concerns about the dangers of gender ideology when dealing with children.

Know and Teach the Authentic Needs of Each Person

In conclusion, there are four authentic needs and opposite desires that we should consider when assisting young people in these struggles:

  1. Love vs. Lust (focused on self, immediate gratification, wanting what God does not want for you)
  2. Belonging vs. Possessing (or being possessed)
  3. Self-Worth vs. Ego (self-absorption)
  4. Freedom vs. Bondage (to sin, bad choices, or a lifestyle)

Model Positive Behavior

Many of our students have not had good role models and peer models. They may not have been exposed to healthy examples of relationships.  We can live our lives as the counter-narrative to what our students are seeing on television, in school, and possibly even at home. Above all, we can pray, demonstrate chaste and appropriate love/concern, and remind ourselves that authentic love will change things.

 

 

Classroom Management with Eager Children

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We have all been there. We, the Catechist, ask a question in the classroom. Several eager students raise their hands in a manner that sounds like a miniature version of the clamoring shoppers on Black Friday. These students want to be called upon and share their insight. Stopping the eagerness may, or at least we think it might, discourage them from volunteering their answer in the future.

The Question and Answer approach in the classroom is a favorite of many, wherein the Catechist lectures or writes something upon the board and asks a question to get the classroom to engage in the lesson. This approach can truly become chaotic in the classroom. I have sat in the classroom of many catechists that I mentored, and some have offered me this question: “Did you notice how they got really noisy whenever I asked them a question?” This is a chronic problem for classrooms full of small children. It is only natural for a child who loves truth to desire to share the answer to the Catechist’s question.

Here is a very simple set of ideas for maintaining the focus on the lesson while inviting students to offer answers or ideas:

  • Call on a student before asking the question. For example, “Joe Smith, who created the world?”
  • Call on a specific row. For example, “Can someone in the first row tell me what Ex Nihilo means?”
  • Call on a specific group. For example, “Girls, can one of you tell me how many books are in the Old Testament?”

These simple ideas, especially the first, will maintain order in the classroom and allow Catechists to continue to invite students to offer answers during the catechetical lesson.