Amazing Catechists

Teaching and learning the faith together

Healing After Grief Through Divine Mercy

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By now, most of us have been inundated with information about the Divine Mercy devotion popularized through St. Faustina’s Diary. But have we learned about how divine mercy itself aids us through grief as a healing balm for our wounds? Probably not.

It’s easy to take care of yourself in the immediate aftermath of loss: you make sure you are fed, clean, and get adequate rest. You drink enough water. You might take a walk or sit down to read a book. But what about the condition of your soul? Certainly we are a composite of mind, body, and soul, which are all intricately interconnected.

But we cannot neglect our souls. In fact, I strongly believe that, when we don’t face our deepest inner turmoil from a spiritual perspective, we will not ever be completely healed.

How does divine mercy give us the grace to experience lasting peace and permanent healing? I am not implying that grace alone will solve all of your suffering, nor that it’s not important – necessary at times, even – to seek medical or professional help in addition to turning to your faith. What I am saying is that if you truly wish to be deeply healed, you simply cannot overlook the value of sacramental grace.

Here is a way for you to understand how divine mercy plays an integral role in grief healing:

Divine mercy is the only means by which we can be fully restored and made whole after we have incurred grave losses. It’s not His obligation, but He cannot deny us this because of love. Mercy is the way God reaches our torn and tattered hearts after betrayals and breakups (p. 125 in my book, From Grief to Grace: The Journey from Tragedy to Triumph).

If you need some practical ways to experience the power of Divine Mercy, start with these:

  • Frequent the Sacrament of Mercy – Reconciliation. Better yet, frequent the Sacraments of Healing together – Reconciliation and the Eucharist.
  • Read about God’s incredible mercy in the Psalms.
  • Pray to St. Faustina for a deeper understanding of how much God’s love envelops you in your pain.
  • Offer your misery to Jesus as a gift. His mercy will transform your heart.
  • Be merciful to both yourself and others. This means being more patient and kinder than necessary. Remember the quote, “Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle”? Keep that in mind regarding the message of mercy.
  • Practice the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. Pray about which one or two God is inviting you to try rather than committing to all of them. Base your selection on your specific gifts, talents, personality, lifestyle, and the time you have.

Consider this quote from the Diary of St. Faustina (no. 1273). Read it as if Jesus is speaking directly to your heart. Ponder it throughout the week. Ask the Lord to reveal to you what it means for your particular cross right now:

There is no misery that could be a match for My mercy, neither will misery exhaust it, because as it is being granted, it increases. The soul that trusts in My mercy is most fortunate, because I Myself take care of it.

Friends, faith alone will not solve all of your ills. Neither, though, will prescriptions and therapy. Remember that your soul is the center, the wellspring of your existence. From it flows the Spring of Eternal Life. Access this spring so that you might discover true and lasting healing through mercy, as well as the other ways you care for your health.

I believe if we “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,” then truly “all these things will be given to you besides” (see Matthew 6:33).

Adapted from my book, From Grief to Grace: The Journey from Tragedy to Triumph.

Text (c) Jeannie Ewing 2018, all rights reserved. Photo by Fischer Twins on Unsplash

 

We Call This Friday Good

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I have a friend who moved to the United States some twenty years ago.  Although she speaks the language fluently, she hasn’t quite lost her accent, and a colloquialism will occasionally still mystify her.  That’s how I am with the Catholic church.  Twelve years ago I came into the Church as a young woman.  Though I feel at home here, I still stumble upon meditations that strike me as so strange that I realize I am a foreigner.

This was the first Lent since I started praying a daily Rosary, and somewhere along the way it was suggested to me that I pray only the sorrowful mysteries in Lent (except Sundays).   So day after day I have meditated on the Agony, the Scourging, the Crowning with Thorns, the Carrying of the Cross, and the Crucifixion.

What has jumped out at me is the juxtaposition of these mysteries with the phrase of the Hail Mary: “Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.”

Blessed are thou among women….said again and again as I contemplated His agony, His body slick with bloody sweat, His face in the dirt he made.

Blessed art thou among women…as I contemplated the whips tearing at his flesh, furious lashes that end only when his executioners have worn themselves out from the effort.

Blessed art thou among women…as I saw her Son humiliated, scorned, spat upon, and struck repeatedly so that the thorns of the grotesque crown impale his head.

Blessed art thou among women…as I watched Our Lady watch her son’s battered, mutilated body stumble under the weight of the cross, a spectacle to the indifferent and an abomination to the contemptuous.

Blessed art thou among women…as she stands by Him crucified, witness to His struggle to breathe, His enduring of the unfathomable torture.

Blessed is she?  Blessed?  What mom dreams of the day when she will stand beside her son while he is tortured?  On the face of it, it seems like a mockery to repeat this over fifty times in the face of His Passion.  At any rate, it is a jarring enough paradox that it gave me pause.  I knew then that I am still not a native to the church.

Forty days’ meditation gave me time to reflect.  That she is blessed, I believe.  So, as in so many teachings of the church that I didn’t immediately grasp, it was time to dig deeper.

How can it be that Our Lady is blessed in these days of Holy Week?

We see the world upside down, so writes Father Michael Scanlan in his book Let the Fire Fall.  I believe that Mary’s blessedness in the face of the Passion is the right-side-up way to view it.  I need to adjust my vision.

As in so many things, I was looking at the Passion in primarily the physical sense.  Material being that I am, this body is so present to me that it usually constitutes my first consideration.  But what if I were to look at the Passion in primarily spiritual terms?  What if I thought about it as Fr John Riccardo presents it in his meditation on the Rosary (found here)–as the world’s greatest athlete gearing up for the single most important competition in history?  What if I saw the spiritual implications of the Passion first–Jesus about to save the world from the rule of Satan?

Here, Jesus, though he looks like the defeated, is actually victorious, for he, as a priest said in a meditation I once went to, had enticed the devil to do the one thing the devil could not do–kill God Himself.  It was a chess match, and while it looked as though the King had been taken, he had actually set a trap that would end in checkmate against his opponent.  It was a daring, heroic, stupendous, awe-some, all-in kind of plan.

Did Our Lady understand the Passion on the spiritual level–as a supernatural match for which the prize was the human soul?  Spouse of the Holy Spirit, the woman who will crush the serpent under her heel, the mother of God, I imagine she herself very well may have undergone severe temptations and wrestling with the devil in her own hidden life.  She must have been clued into the spiritual realm of the Passion, even if she did not fully know what would happen three days hence.

Blessed indeed was she!  She saw her son undergo bodily torture, yes, but through that, she saw him win the war.  She saw him, fully human as well as fully God, not recoil from the agony of body and soul but instead stand victorious in the redemption of our human nature.

That one there is my son.  The one who is wrestling all of the powers of hell but who stands–bloody, yes–but triumphant.  That’s my boy–the one who whose suffering gives historic and eternal witness to the profound love of God.  That one hanging there is mine, the one who is willingly giving his very life to save the eternal souls of the human race.  Jesus is my son.  I am blessed.

What is Grief?

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Popular counselors tend to affirm the common definition of grief in our western culture: that it is a period of designated mourning following the death of a loved one. While this is certainly true, it is a narrow and limited understanding of what grief encompasses. Perhaps that’s why it’s so hard for most of us to recognize when we are grieving.

What I have learned, both from personal experience and in my professional background, is that grief includes any significant and devastating loss. This could be the death of your beloved pet; the sudden loss of your job; a child born with a genetic condition or disability (as in our case); a spouse who has left you; caring for an elderly parent who is suffering from dementia; struggling in the aftermath of sexual assault; recovering from PTSD as a military veteran; making ends meet as a single mother; healing after abortion; hidden sorrow from a miscarriage or stillbirth.

There are countless life circumstances that trigger our grief experiences. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it does help to get us thinking – or rethinking – about what grief is and how it affects us when life goes in a direction other than what we’d imagined.

Here are some points to remember when you are grieving:

  1. Any loss that is significant in your life can cause grief. You might feel sad, lost, lonely, or angry. These are some of the normal feelings associated with loss.
  2. Change can provoke a sense of loss, too. Every change in life – moving, having a baby, getting a new job – entails both good and bad, the possibilities of what is in store as well as the loss of what is left behind.
  3. There is no timeline for grief! Despite what others may believe, or what you might also think, grief happens on its own terms. You can neither predict nor hasten how you will experience grief.
  4. Be gentle and patient with yourself when you are grieving. There will be days or weeks that seem more “normal” to you, but you may have what you feel are setbacks – moments of frustration, longing for what once was and is no longer, a crying spell after hearing a song.
  5. Grief involves physical and emotional changes in your life, but don’t neglect the spiritual dimension of grief. Our faith tells us that suffering is not lost upon God when we hand it to Him with humility and sincerity. Suffering is redemptive in this way.
  6. Find ways to process your pain. For some, this includes journaling memories or perhaps creating visual art. For others, it might be taking a walk, talking to a trusted friend or pastor, Eucharistic Adoration.

My hope is that we will shift our focus from eschewing suffering to embracing it. A wonderful devotion for those who are suffering is the Divine Mercy chaplet and novena. We would all do well to extend mercy to ourselves and others who are grieving a loss.

(Note: I will include a separate post about Divine Mercy related to grief at a later date.)

Paraphrased from my book, From Grief to Grace: The Journey from Tragedy to Triumph.

Text (c) Jeannie Ewing 2018, all rights reserved. Photo by Francisco Moreno on Unsplash

Learning to Live with Mystery

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The Christian worldview is chock full of mystery.  How Jesus is both true God and true Man; how God is Three Persons but One Substance; how Jesus comes to us–body, blood, soul, and divinity–under the appearances of bread and wine: these are some of the great mysteries of our faith.  We are steeped in these mysteries, and we are comfortable (for the most part) that our finite minds cannot fully comprehend the greatness of God.  After all, some say, how much of a god is a God who is completely understood?

The mysteries of each other, however–those mysteries engender more discomfort.  Whenever we hear of a tragedy intentionally perpetrated, the first question is usually “Why?”  Why would someone do that?  We seek to understand, because somehow understanding brings with it some measure of comfort.

But what if we can’t understand?  And what if the mystery is closer to our own hearts: someone close to us who has hurt us unimaginably?  When we try to sort out “why?” or “how could he?”–well, that mystery is almost unbearable.

I had always held closely a hope that when my father died, the mystery of his activities and his intentions would be solved.  He passed away recently, and along with the grief of losing a parent and the shock of its suddenness, comes the grief that the mystery–instead of being revealed–has instead become more clouded and more strange.

What do we do when we must live with the mysteries of a human soul that we cannot penetrate?  Clearly, I will not know more about my father’s thoughts, motivations, or activities in this life.  The pieces simply don’t fit together no matter how many times I have turned them over in my mind.

When a painful mystery of life so presses upon our minds and hearts that it feels like murky waters poised to engulf us, it seems to me that we have two options.  We can struggle against it, flailing our limbs in an attempt to stay upright.  We can try to analyze the mystery and expend untold energy and time trying to unravel events, sort out truth, and understand the motivations of another’s heart.

Sometimes, though, we simply can’t fathom the answer.  In that event, not all is lost, for we can learn to float.  We can submit to our human nature.  The fact is, we were not made to know all–certainly not the workings that lie at the bottom of another’s soul.  We can adopt a posture of humility and lie peacefully atop the surface of the water.  One way saps strength; the other preserves it.  One keeps our eyes fixed on the sphere below; the other trains our eyes toward heaven.

Fortunately, truth isn’t only a set of facts but is a Person.  I can choose to rest in Truth, who is Jesus Christ.  Here I accept the finite nature of my human mind and yield to the God who is infinite but who loves me so completely that he came to me in history and comes to me in the Mass.  I don’t understand the mystery of my father, but He does.  Furthermore, if it were to my soul’s good that I unravel the mystery surrounding my dad, He would show it to me.  He hasn’t yet.  He might one day, but today and all days, I can rest in utter assurance that not knowing must be for my best.

When you encounter a mystery in life that cannot be solved–learn to float. You might catch a glimpse of heaven.

Text copyright 2018 Amanda Woodiel.  Photo by Pexels (2016) via Pixabay, CCO Public Domain.

MAC Notes For Praying With Children

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It was a great joy to present some ideas about praying with children, this past Friday (February 16), at the Mid-Atlantic Congress, in Baltimore. It touched my heart very much to be in Maryland (Mary-land!) surrounded by dedicated people of faith.

I want to thank all of you who attended for your warmth, your attention, and most of all for your commitment to bring the Faith to others, no matter how difficult that task may seem. But we know that God is faithful, and what we plant He waters.

Please feel free to ask questions in the com boxes and I’ll add more material, as needed. Here are the bullet points, reading resources, Catechism quotes, Scriptures, and other elements of the talk:

The Annunciation, by Henry Tanner

I began by talking about the fact that we are all made for supernatural experiences and interactions. It is natural for us to experience the supernatural! From the beginning of our lives to the moment we enter heaven, we are accompanied by a guardian angel, a pure spirit so unique that it is a separate species from all other spirits (according to Catholic angelologists). This mighty being beholds the face of God in heaven and attends to our souls with perfect dedication and love.

I shared two prayers from my new book, Heads Bowed: Prayers for Catholic School Days. The first is from Week One and was written for the adult preparing for the school year (there are two weeks of preparation prayers), and the other is from Week Nine of the children’s prayers and provides a prayer lesson on the same topic: Angels!

Here they are:

Holy Angels, you surround us with your prayerful and protective presence at all times, and I thank you. I ask that you watch over our classroom throughout the coming year, filling it with your praises to God and guarding it diligently with your holy presence and your powerful prayers. Draw down from heaven every grace and blessing we need to heal our wounds, repent of our sins, and offer our sufferings in union with the cross of Jesus Christ for the good of souls. Amen. (Week 1: Theme: Strength in Weakness)

Dear Jesus, St. Anselm taught that from the moment we are created in our mother’s womb, God gives us a guardian angel to watch over us.  We are precious to God no matter how small we are. Even though we are hidden away for a little while before we were born, God always sees us and loves us! After we are born, God’s angel stays with us throughout our lives and guides us safely to God, when we die. Our angel will not leave us or stop praying for us until we are ready to enter into the joy of heaven! Amen.  (Week 9: Theme: The Unborn)

Nothing is more natural than teaching the Faith through prayer. We do this naturally when we are raising our own children. We call out the attributes of God, express our trust in His mercy, and use a language of love that helps each child feel they are a part of something beautiful and true.

Every one of the almost 300 prayers in my book is a short catechetical lesson, as well as a prayer. The collection spans about 10 months of school days, plus special occasion prayers, a glossary of challenge words, and a scriptural reference for each week. The traditional dedications of the days and months, the liturgical seasons, virtues, and mysteries of the Rosary, are also woven into the prayers, so that young children experience them simply and older children and adults have more to interest them.

More notes:

We ourselves express an amazing nature that will be perfected, in heaven. On earth, we possess five senses that help us to access the intangibles of heaven, and after the Resurrection of the Dead, our glorified senses will be even more amazing! That’s why the Church is so wise about beauty, which is a gateway to truth and goodness–to God Himself.

Body and Soul: One Human Nature: CCC 365

The unity of soul and body is so profound that one has to consider the soul to be the “form” of the body: i.e., it is because of its spiritual soul that the body made of matter becomes a living, human body; spirit and matter, in man, are not two natures united, but rather their union forms a single nature.

When Jesus entered into time, He sanctified it. And when He took on human flesh, he sanctified that, too. That means that every moment of our lives is holy and our lives have meaning and purpose from our earliest biological beginnings to the very end of our natural lives. It is all His! Every moment is precious. The world tells us otherwise, discarding the helpless unborn and the elderly, which is the darkest kind of ignorance, masquerading as sophistication.

Note: Those who have been lied to, indoctrinated, pressured, and wounded by these evils (i.e., post-abortive women and families) are tenderly loved by God and need only seek His healing love to be restored and strengthened, to be given new life, and to carry out their true purpose in Him. Check out Rachel’s Vineyard for loving support in finding healing.

Never doubt the dignity of your own soul. God, who contains the entire universe and all of heaven–the angels, saints, holy souls, our beloved who are living and those who have died, the stars and planets, every layer of creation–this God abides tenderly and devotedly in our souls. Within our souls dwells the Holy Spirit, by virtue of our baptism, and each time we receive Jesus in the Eucharist, we become tabernacles of His holy presence. That Presence has an impact on the world around us, as it radiates through us.

  • St. Therese of Lisieux said, “How great must a soul be to contain a God.”
  • Jesus said, “If a man loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” (Jn 14:23)
  • When the Lord is with us, we are empowered to live the adventure of our own lives, to fulfill the unique calling of God to our individual souls!
  • God wants to make a masterpiece in our souls.
  • Learning and teaching the Faith is a key to that wondrous transformation in Christ.

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Learning our faith a little at a time draws us closer to God and empowers our mission.

As we move through our lives, studying our faith, we “scratch” at ideas that may be familiar, but perhaps we don’t fully understand, yet. The Liturgical year takes us round and round the treasure map of our faith, and we scratch a little every year, going deeper into the treasury of grace and knowledge that feeds our walk with Christ. If we keep scratching a little at a time, we uncover treasures that change our lives, light our souls on fire, and make it impossible for us to keep our excitement to ourselves.

I absolutely love Dr. Edward Sri’s book, A Biblical Walk Through the Mass: Understanding What We Say and Do in the Liturgy. He takes each piece of the Mass, scratches and digs deeply into the origins and biblical connections, and unearths the treasures within. He begins with the very start of the Mass:

“On the one hand, from a Scriptural perspective, the words ‘The Lord be with you’ remind us of the high calling we each have. As God’s children, we each have a particular mission to fulfill in the Father’s plan…each of us has a role that no one else can play…these words also assure us that we have access to a higher power that can support us through the trials and challenges of life and help us be faithful in whatever task God has entrusted to us.”  (p. 26)

Dr. Sri goes on to explain that when God says, “I will be with you,” or an angel says, “The Lord is with you,” he is saying that we need not fear anything. He describes some examples: Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Mary. Each is empowered to accomplish the impossible, in friendship with God.

When we hear the priest say, at Mass, “The Lord be with you,” we should hear the voice of the Lord saying to us:

  • I will equip you, I will provide for you, I will defend you, and I will give you victory.
  • Through the gift of Himself in the Eucharist, Christ strengthens us.
  • Our heroes are heroes because they trusted in the power of God.
  • Prayer and study change us, opening us up to God’s grace (LIFE).
  • When we persevere in prayer and sacramental life, we become radiant witnesses.

Pope Paul VI famously wrote: “Modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they are witnesses.”

We all want to be radiant witnesses, but I sometimes feel, working with children, that I’m ill-prepared or uninspired, so I pray, “Lord, light me up! You are my wattage!” And He never lets me down. If I walk out of class feeling like a failure, I say, “Lord, I don’t know what I did in there, but I know You did something!”

The amazing Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen always prayed before he taught: “Lord, send me Pentecostal fire!”

But to become Radiant Witnesses, we need sacramental healing and cleansing: confession. Here’s the fun commercial I do at all my talks. When you do this for your own presentations, have fun! Sell it! Make them laugh. It will help them remember.

Feeling tired? Rundown? Discouraged? Feel like Jesus hasn’t been answering your prayers, lately? Well, how would you like to get back in the game so fast it’ll make the enemy’s head spin? Get some religion, get your groove back? Let the light of the Lord shine right through you and out to the world? Well, you’re in luck! Because right now you, my friend, can get back in the race with some sanctifying grace. Discovering the elation of reconciliation. Free at last! Free of charge, at a Catholic parish near you, where a priest is waiting to take your call. Get back in the game. Get back to confession!

Why It is Important to Pray With Children

  • Adults humbly approaching the throne of God is a powerful witness.
  • Recognizing something greater than ourselves is an important reality check.
  • Respecting authority in childhood—leads to exercising healthy authority as adults.
  • Praying together gives children a blueprint for prayer—they mimic to learn the language of love.
  • They realize they can have a relationship with God, Our Lady, the saints, angels, and the Holy Souls.
  • They are reminded that they are made for supernatural encounters.
  • Prayer empowers them to enter into the mystery—and the paradoxes of a life lived for God.
  • Memories and habits of prayer, soaked in love, become rich in meaning and take root for a lifetime.
  • An intimate relationship with God is an indispensable means to achieving their life’s purpose with clarity.
  • The habit of prayer strengthens them to stand against dark influences and live for God.

Pixabay

Working prayer into our lessons and lessons into our prayers

Here, I shared some ideas about the naturalness of prayer as a way to teach, and lessons as a way to incorporate prayer, beginning with the Sign of the Cross–again, based on a lesson from Dr. Sri’s book. I began with this excerpt, however, from an EWTN interview with author and editor, Bert Ghezzi:

Bert Ghezzi (from EWTN interview):

  • The sign of the cross is: a confession of faith; a renewal of baptism; a mark of discipleship; an acceptance of suffering; a defense against the devil; and a victory over self-indulgence.
  • When you make the sign, you are professing a mini version of the creed — you are professing your belief in the Father, and in the Son and in the Holy Spirit.
  • When you say the words and pray in someone’s name you are declaring their presence and coming into their presence— that’s how a name is used in Scripture.

The ancient version of the Hebrew letter “Tav” looks like a cross (or an X)

Dr. Sri talked about “signs” in the Bible:

  • Exodus 12: Passover: the Israelites were spared because of the lamb’s blood on their doorposts
  • Revelations 7:3: the saints in heaven have a seal on their forehead
  • Ezekial 9:4: those marked with the TAV were spared the wrath of God.

St. John Chrysostom said this about the Sign of the Cross:

When, then, you make the sign of the cross on the forehead, arm yourself with a saintly boldness, and reinstall your soul in its old liberty; for you are not ignorant that the cross is a prize beyond all price.

Consider what is the price given for your ransom, and you will never more be slave to any man on earth. This reward and ransom is the cross. You should not then, carelessly make the sign on the forehead, but you should impress it on your heart with the love of a fervent faith. Nothing impure will dare to molest you on seeing the weapon, which overcometh all things.

All of this to say that when we “scratch” below the surface and find treasures, we cannot help but share them and that passion ignites a fire in children.

Pixabay

Creating a Prayerful Environment for Children:

  • No phones, please. The addictive quality of cell phones and other electronic devices is very real and should be prohibited in class.
  • Basic discipline should create a safe environment for the shyest children. Don’t let alpha kids take over. Be forgiving but firm.
  • Your own example of faith and reverence is contagious.
  • Beauty! As we know, our souls are touched by beauty. Use it as much as you can: sacred art, candles, music, Easter and Christmas cards! God speaks through beauty and touches our hearts when nothing else can.

Meeting Them Where They Are

  • Learning styles and developmental issues can be understood easily. Lots of information is available online.
  • They remember how you made them feel, so ask Jesus to act through you and speak through you with the love only He can give.
  • The grace of forgiveness and second chances: show mercy, while maintaining order.
  • Children’s memories and associations: sometimes they surprise us with weird connections. They are making memories, as they connect their own ideas with the new ones. Don’t despair that they don’t seem to understand. They’re working on it.
  • Communication and cleaning up messes: be sensitive to the children’s feelings. You don’t know how much you may matter to them or how God may be touching that child by your witness, without your knowledge. If you think you may have done something insensitive, circle back and make amends.
  • Prayer Basket keeps the community strong: get the names of all their loved ones on cards that go in a basket for weekly prayer. They stay connected with the community of the classroom that way, even when they are not able to be present.

First Through Third Grade

  • A decade of the Rosary takes five minutes! Inviting Our Lady into the classroom makes everything better. And Sister Lucia, one of the seers of Fatima (and many saints) have said, “…there is no problem that cannot be resolved by the recitation of the Holy Rosary.” It is a spiritual weapon par excellence!
  • Intentions clarified: make sure the children understand what they are praying for. Invite feedback.
  • Marching to hymns of praise gets their wiggles out and provides a liturgical feel as you transition to the next activity.
  • Spontaneous prayer is important. If a child brings up a worry or concern, pray on the spot.
  • Throwing their prayers up to God. I have them close their eyes and hold out their hands, palms up, giving God everything on their hearts and then making a tossing motion, giving it to him to take care of.
  • God can make good come out of any bad thing, can bring beauty from ugliness, and hope from despair. Keep weaving this into prayer with them.
  • Name saints! I research the children’s names at the start of the year and weave those saints into lesson time.
  • Trips to the Church are essential: entering reverently, blessing themselves with holy water, and genuflecting with their eyes on the tabernacle (greeting Jesus silently in their hearts) can be practiced ahead of time, in class. I love to walk through the Stations of the Cross with them, having the boys say one half and the girls the other, and then switching halfway through (We bless thee oh Lord and we praise you; for by your holy cross you have redeemed the world). Talking about the altar as a table for a holy meal, a place of sacrifice (the Lamb of God), and connecting it all to the sacraments gives them more connection to the Mass.
  • Sacramentals: have them reverently practice venerating blessed sacramentals: i.e., a crucifix, a sacred image, a relic, a medal.
  • Living a moment in Scripture: I act out Bible stories with my kids after I read them aloud, so they get to experience in different ways: they hear the story, see the pictures, and then “live” it for a few short minutes. Every learning style is covered, this way, and it helps them remember. It’s all very easy and loose. For more information, see my booklet, Be An Amazing Catechist: Inspire the Faith of Children.

Fourth Through Eighth Grade and Beyond

  • See above, plus…
  • Cultivating silence: their lives are noisy. Give them opportunities to experience silent prayer.
  • Spiritual bouquets for the Holy Souls: these powerful allies in purgatory need our prayers and pray for us with great impact when we pray for them. Establish this relationship early. It benefits the Church and many souls.
  • Adopting a mission or ministry: choose something where they can receive progress reports and other kinds of feedback, so they see the impact of their prayers and a way to help out when they are old enough.
  • Relationships with saints: through their name saints, the liturgical year, and martyr stories, children can be intrigued about the saints and want to know them better and learn from them. Also, namesaintgenerator.com is a great online resource. Have them pray to the Holy Spirit, then click the interface to choose a saint. They should study the saint’s life and pray, “Teach me what you know,” for a set period of time.
  • Eucharistic miracles: true accounts abound and are fascinating to tweens and teens: see this website: http://therealpresence.org/ 

Scroll down to these images for more information.

  • Incorruptibles: these somewhat strange miraculous occurrences fascinate teens and tweens.
  • Adoration: teens often find a personal relationship with Christ in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I even take very young children and tell them that Jesus is waiting for them, His arms loaded with gifts of grace. They should silently tell Him about their day, share their hopes and worries, and pray simply, “Jesus, I adore You!” With older students, we memorize the Anima Christi for after Communion and for Adoration:

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from the side of Christ, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malignant enemy defend me
At the hour of my death call me
And bid me come to Thee
That with thy saints I may praise thee
Forever and ever
Amen

  • Special liturgies that involve them in the planning, reading, and music, help them to understand the Mass and their role as contributing members of the community.
  • Conferences can do what we can’t. Chastity, TOB, the Real Presence, Vocations–youth speakers have a powerful calling to reach the hearts and minds of teens and tweens. Do whatever you can to get your middle and high school students to appropriate events.

Remember, what we plant, He waters!

 

Here’s my resource list! Let me know if you need anything else. I’m happy to help!

Published Resources:

Heads Bowed: Prayers for Catholic School Days, by Lisa Mladinich (Liguori Publications)

Be An Amazing Catechist: Inspire the Faith of Children, by Lisa Mladinich (in English and Spanish, from Our Sunday Visitor)

Be An Amazing Catechist: Sacramental Preparation, by Lisa Mladinich (in English and Spanish, from Our Sunday Visitor)

A Biblical Walk Through the Mass: Understanding What We Say and Do in the Liturgy, by Edward Sri (Ascension Press)

The Happiness of Heaven: The Joys and Rewards of Eternal Glory, by Fr. J. Boudreau, S.J. (1870) (TAN reprint)

Champions of the Rosary: The History and Heroes of a Spiritual Weapon, by Father Donald Calloway (Marian Press)

What Matters Most: Empowering Young Catholics for Life’s Big Decisions, by Leonard J. DeLorenzo (Ave Maria Press)

Prayer for Beginners, by Peter Kreeft (Ignatius Press)

Free Online Resources:

AmazingCatechists.com

Article on praying with children: http://amazingcatechists.com/2018/02/teach-kids-pray-5-simple-steps/

CatholicMom.com (my puppet scripts)

https://catholicmom.com/kids/puppet-ministry/

MyFirstHolyCommunion.com (Tarcisius)

http://www.myfirstholycommunion.com/portfolio-view/st-tarcisius-boy-martyr-of-the-eucharist/

TheRealPresence.org

http://therealpresence.org/eucharst/mir/a3.html

SaintsNameGenerator.com

http://saintsnamegenerator.com/

Fisheaters.com (tour of the church)

https://www.fisheaters.com/churchbuilding.html

 

Teach Your Kids to Pray in 5 Simple Steps

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My husband and I are not unusual in the sense that we have three daughters. What is unusual about our family, however, is that two of our three girls have special needs. “Special needs,” of course, runs a wide gamut. In our case, it covers both minor developmental issues that can be corrected through occupational therapy (for our oldest, Felicity) and complex care that includes medical, psychological, and educational professionals (for Sarah, our middle child).

When we were teaching the older girls how to pray, they weren’t sure what that entailed. I wanted to use the acronym ACTS to explain that prayer can be adoration, contrition, thanksgiving, and supplication (or petition). But they didn’t really understand the academic explanation. Here’s what I did instead. (Thank you, Holy Spirit!)

Use a simple formula for young kids or children who have cognitive impairment to help prayer become a natural, fluid conversation with God that covers all of the four hallmarks of prayer:

  1. Dear Jesus, my day was…
  2. Thank you for…
  3. I’m sorry for…
  4. Please help me to…
  5. I love you, Jesus. Amen.

Have your child begin in front of an image of Jesus or statue. In our home, it’s a framed image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The girls get some holy water, make the Sign of the Cross (sometimes with help), and begin with item #1. Telling Jesus about their day helps them make the connection that Jesus is real and cares about the details of our lives – also that our daily lives change, and it’s good to bring the hurts, frustrations, and joys to prayer.

Item #2 is a prayer of thanksgiving. I try to jog my girls’ memory by saying, “What is something good that happened today you’d like to thank Jesus for?” Sometimes the variations of this might be, “What’s something special about today?” or “Is there a person in your life you want to thank Jesus for?” Gratitude, I believe, fosters a much deeper sense of who we are as people of faith because of acknowledging God’s provision.

When we segue into item #3, we are entering into contrition. This is a very rudimentary form of an evening examen, but the point is to put a habit into place that can be expounded upon later, as your child matures. I might prompt the girls with something like, “What’s something you did today that you wish you hadn’t?” or “Are you sorry for anything you might have said or done today?” It’s incredible the things they remember and bring to the Lord!

#4 is really a continuation of the third item, yet it acts alone as the hallmark of petition, or supplication. I tell the girls that sometimes when we see our sins, we can ask Jesus for the grace of a specific virtue we might need. For example, if Felicity says she is sorry for mouthing off to Mom today, she might ask Jesus to help her use self-control and grow in respect. These, of course, are conversations we have as they go along with their prayer.

Finally, let’s end with praising God! When we tell Him we love Him (which we can never do enough), we end our short conversation by handing Him our hearts.

This has become such a treasured part of our nightly routine, and it has been a very useful way to incorporate spontaneous dialogue between our girls and God.

Text (c) Jeannie Ewing 2018, all rights reserved. Photo by Enis Yavuz on Unsplash

Forgiveness Beyond the Grave

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My father died last week.  It was unexpected.  He had had health issues the last couple of years and had never seemed particularly robust, but he was never near death, either.

My mom passed away eight years prior.  Here I am, in my 30s (barely!) with five small children and no parents.  It’s not a common status among my circle of friends, but it could be far worse.

I mention this simply to show that I have a frame of reference when I talk about grieving deceased parents.  This isn’t my first rodeo.  What is different this time, however, is that my father was, well, a different man than what he seemed to be.  Over the last few years we had uncovered surprising details about his life–details that I will spare you, dear reader.

So the grief I feel is an alloyed grief.  There is sadness that the opportunity has passed for our relationship to transform coupled with confusion over details that keep popping up (such as the bewildering claim he apparently made that he had been sent on a secret mission for the Department of Defense) commingled with utter dismay that his last note to us–intentionally placed in a spot where we would find it–was as efficient as a corporate memo and as warm as a ransom note.

The question I am left with–aside from the question of what is true regarding his life–is the question of forgiveness.  How do you forgive someone who lies in his grave and whose lies extend beyond the grave?  (The last sentence of his last note to us was, in fact, untrue.)  How do you forgive someone who betrayed his family but who genuinely believed he could fool everyone–and who maybe, in the end, fooled himself?

As I have pondered these questions, a specific path to forgiveness and healing keeps coming to mind.  Think back to Cana, the site of Jesus’ first public miracle.  The hosts had run out of wine, and Mary, with the compassion of a mother’s heart, knew the embarrassment they would face.  Her son is at the same wedding feast, so she hurries to him and tells him the problem.  At first, Jesus seems to resist her urging.  But she–great Jewish mama that she is–brushes aside his response and turns to the servants. “Do whatever he tells you,” she says with complete confidence in him.  Jesus is moved by his mother’s urging and by her faith.  Jesus acts, in this instance, because of his mother’s intercession.

This intercessor was given to us from the cross when Jesus gave her to John.  John stands there in history as the faithful disciple but also stands in for us when Jesus gives Mary to his care: “behold your mother.”  She is our mother as well, our dear compassionate mother, who is also, in evangelical parlance, a “prayer warrior.”  Mary, just as she was at Cana, is a compassionate intercessor for those of us who face complicated situations.

Mary is known by many names.  One such name comes from a meditation by St Irenaeus, bishop of Lyons in the last quarter of the second century and a Church Father.  Drawing out a comparison between Eve and Mary, he noted:

“And thus also it was that the knot of Eve’s disobedience was loosed by the obedience of Mary” (Against Heresies, Book III, Chapter 22).

Man’s fall from grace due to original sin–what knot could be more complicated than that?  Original sin, endured since our first parents, was loosed by the obedience of Mary to the will of God when she gave her fiat to become the mother of the Holy God.  And so she is known as “Mary, Undoer of Knots.”  Mary, undoer of the knot of original sin.  Mary, undoer of whatever knot is in your life and the big knot that is in mine.

I once had a lovely little card that had printed on it “The best way out is always through.”  The best way out of the pain is to walk through it.  And so I have been given the answer to my question of how do I forgive: pray a daily Rosary alongside Mary, Undoer of Knots, for my father’s departed soul and for my wounded one.

What does this prayer do?  Two things.  When we pray in good faith for someone who has hurt us we cannot help but love that person more.  It is hard for us to love the person whom we do not know.  I have only done this prayer for the last week, and already I am looking at my father through more compassionate eyes than ever before; somehow, it is giving me more knowledge of him.

Secondly, praying the Rosary has a way of showing us who we are.  Contemplating the mysteries of the God-Man being scourged or crowned with thorns gives me pause to think about the ways in which I have unleashed my own contempt for my Savior.  The prayer becomes, then, less about offender (dad) and victim (me) and instead becomes two sinners contemplating God’s passion and his love and mercy.

And then, of course, the prayer is the outpouring of hope that God will and does redeem all things.  Everything else in my life–my mother’s terminal brain disease, for example–has shown itself to be a gift.  Perhaps the gift is a severe mercy, but there is always mercy.  There is always the great Divine Act of turning evil on its head to bless–witness the crucifixion itself.

Praying a daily Rosary for those who have wounded us alongside our great mother and intercessor is ultimately an act of hope, an act of humility, and an act of love.  By focusing daily and for a sustained time on the life of Jesus in the company of Mary, Undoer of Knots, I have confidence that I will find healing and peace.

(This post first appeared at www.inaplaceofgrace.com.  Text by Amanda Woodiel [2018].  All rights reserved.  Photo by Petra [2015] via Pixabay, CCO Public Domain.)

A Beautiful Prayer to Bring Your Heart to Jesus in the Manger

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Gerard van Honthorst: Adoration of the Shepherds (1622)

 

It is deeply touching that the saints live in the certainty of God’s particular, personal, and tender love for each of us. A dear friend shared this prayer, today, and I have it posted in my office.

Behold the dear Infant Jesus, and adore Him fervently. Contemplate His poverty, and humility, in imitation of His most holy Mother and of Saint Joseph. Repose near Him as sweetly as you can, He will not fail to love your heart, void as you find it of tenderness and feeling. Nothing will be wanting to you since you will be in the presence of that holy Infant. Abide there, and learn of  Him how meek and humble He is, how simple and amiable. See how lovingly He has written your name in the depth of His Divine Heart, which beats on that couch of straw from the impassioned zeal it has for our advancement and heaves not one single sigh unto His Father in which you have not a part, nor a single movement of His spirit except for your happiness.        –Saint Francis de Sales

A very blessed and holy Advent and Christmas to you and yours!

In Jesus through Mary,

Lisa Mladinich

Owner, AmazingCatechists.com

VIDEO: My Visit With Doug Keck on EWTN Bookmark

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My new book for parents, catechists, and Catholic school teachers, helps adults and children learn their faith together!

It was an honor to be interviewed by Doug Keck, on EWTN’s BookMark, on location at the Catholic Marketing Network Tradeshow.

In this episode, Doug featured me and three other members of the Catholic Writers’ Guild, talented Catholic writers with a true heart for the Church: Joe Wetterling, A.J. Cattapan, and Cathy Gilmore.

My interview starts at about the 5 1/2 minute mark, FYI.

Email me directly, if you’d like to gift a bundle of discounted copies of my book to your catechists, faculty, or homeschool network!

Blessings of Advent

Lisa Mladinich

lisa@mladinich.com

The Rosary in Kid Speak (Special Offer and Review)

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Enjoy my interview with dynamic author, speaker, and educator, TJ Burdick, about his exciting new resource, The Rosary in Kid Speak.

What sparked the idea to write this book?

Every night, my family and I pray a decade of the Rosary together. When our youngest was born, we had four children, five years old and younger, which made the Rosary praying process a bit difficult. They’d get into the rhythm of the repetition of the prayers, but we never focused on the true beauty of Our Lady’s prayer- the mysteries. So, I started looking up images of Sacred Art to help my kids visualize the mysteries since they couldn’t read yet. Now, two years later, the oldest are reading, so it made since to accompany the images with easy-to-understand words that would explain the depth of each mystery to them. That’s how The Rosary in Kid Speak was born.

What’s inside?

Each Mystery includes a piece of Sacred Art and a kid-friendly description in words of each mystery. The images give children a focal point that allows them to place themselves in the scene with Jesus and Mary through the Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious, and Luminous Mysteries. The words then narrate what’s going on so as to give them a more complete experience while they contemplate the lives of Our Lord and Our Lady. On top of that, the book also includes sections on how to pray the Rosary, a Rosary schedule that tells you which days to pray which mysteries, and several more tips and tricks to help families pray the Rosary together.

Who would benefit most from this book?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church calls the Rosary “the epitome of the Gospel” (CCC 971). That being said, EVERYONE can benefit from this book, most especially those who care for the spiritual formation of children- parents, priests, teachers, administrators, catechists, Directors of Religious Education, etc. The greatest thing we can do to help our children come closer to Christ is to lead them to Our Lady who loves them with a more perfect love than we could ever imagine. With the combined efforts of her divine motherhood and our terrestrial care, the Rosary becomes the spiritual rope that binds us all together and lasso’s the souls of our children into her love. Like the reigns of a horse, Our Lady guides us along the path of salvation with her most beautiful Rosary.

How can we get a copy?

There are two ways you can get a hold of this book:

1. The easiest and simplest way is to head over to the Amazon page and purchase it 

Here’s the link: https://goo.gl/Co7rcJ

2. The second way is to go to tinythomists.com to sign up for a monthly subscription plan. On top of receiving bi-weekly lesson plans, weekly Gospel in Kid Speak emails, and several other ways to raise our children Catholic, the digital copy of The Rosary in Kid Speak comes as part of the subscription and the amount of printouts you can create are limitless. You can print out a copy from the PDF and share them with whomever you want, to as many people as you want, and through whichever means as long as the tinythomists.com icon remains on each page shared. 

From now until Nov. 27th, I am charging only $3 a month for the entire Tiny Thomists program FOR LIFE. On Nov. 28th, that rate will jump to $15 a month. So if you know someone who is looking for an easy to use, solidly Catholic curriculum that is updated and fresh every single week, then tell them to act quickly. They’ll get all of Tiny Thomists PLUS the digital version of The Rosary in Kid Speak to use whenever they want, which is an amazing deal.

Can we get a sneak peak?

Absolutely. Head over to tinythomists.com. Scroll down and find the link titled “Free Book” and you can have instant access to the Joyful Mysteries right now. 

What others are saying about T.J. Burdick:

“T.J. Burdick is smart, faithful, passionate, and a gifted teacher and blogger–precisely the sort of leader we need for the New Evangelization.”

–Brandon Vogt, Content Director @ Word on Fire

“T.J. Burdick is a fresh voice in the New Evangelization—and one of the pioneering voices of a new generation of Christians. He is showing us exciting new ways to tell the Greatest Story Ever Told, and he’s doing it with an infectious and disarming kind of joy.”

-Greg Kandra, Aleteia.org

(You can find more of TJ Burdick’s work at tjburdick.com.)