Featured Archives - Amazing Catechists

How Laughter Can Help When You’re Grieving

Laughter might be the last thing on your mind when you’ve lost a loved one, a job, a home, or are experiencing financial difficulty. Even if you’re a good-natured person inherently, it’s hard to see beyond the struggle when you’re in the midst of it.

Despite this reality, engaging in a hearty belly laugh now and then is surprisingly very healing, both physiologically and emotionally. Laughter accesses the limbic system, the part of our brains that houses emotional processing and responses. When you laugh so hard you cry, you’re actually reaping double benefits, too: Research shows evidence that tears shed during times of extreme stress have a different chemical makeup than those shed when you’re temporarily sad.

Here are some ways laughter can help you when you’re grieving:

Find a funny friend and suggest a night out. If you can’t get out, invite him/her over. Let loose and allow yourself to double over with puns, slapstick, dry, or whatever type of humor triggers your funny bone.
Watch your favorite comedy. Or try a stand-up comedian. Ben and I really love the “clean comics” Brian Regan and Jim Gaffigan. They never fail to make us wheeze with laughter.
Do something fun. “Fun” is almost always the last thing on everyone’s list when they are grieving. Even if you can’t imagine going out, do it anyway. Your mind, body, and soul need a break.
Read a funny book. If you don’t know of any, ask around.
Look for humorous memes online. There are plenty. All you have to do is Google!

Though it might seem frivolous or trite, it’s important to take time out to relax, regroup, and find something refreshing to help you refocus on the joys in life. Even if you burst into guffaws at the oddest moments or for the strangest reasons, go with it. I can’t explain the times when Ben and I have shared a good belly laugh over something like an inside joke or a ridiculous story or comment. There’s something very healing and cathartic that occurs.

When you laugh, you clear your mind. Your body’s tension will loosen, and you will feel the visceral response of stress leaving your body, and you will feel stronger and more capable of tackling all the burdens you are facing.

Paraphrased from my book, From Grief to Grace: The Journey from Tragedy to Triumph.

May is Filled with Feasts

By William O'Leary

May is filled with great Feast Days! What a great catechetical opportunity we have to celebrate Feast with our students or at least communicate to parents how they, as families, can celebrate them.

Here are a few key Feast in May:

St. Joseph the Worker – May 1st – St. Joseph is a model for all Christians. Here are a few good links about St. Joseph… Saints for Kids- good background info and ideas for the family Here is a St. Joseph the worker Chore Chart for younger kids. Finally, the Litany of St. Joseph is very special encouraged for all to pray.

Month of Mary where Catholics throughout the world honor Mary during this month with various prayers and devotions (May Crowning, more frequent recitation of the Holy Rosary, special prayer to Mary each day, etc.). Here are 9 ways to celebrate the Month of Mary Or How to Plan a May Crowning gives some ideas among other sites. Two significant Marian Feast days in May are Our Lady of Fatima, May 13th and May 31st, The Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

The Traditional Solemnity of the Ascension of Our Lord this year is on May 10th (this feast has been transferred to the Sunday before Pentecost in most dioceses). This is a great time to talk about Novenas because of the 9 days between the Ascension of Our Lord and eve of Pentecost. Ideas Here and Here

Pentecost – Although this Solemnity is 50 days after Easter and not always in May (but often is), this year it is May 20th. Celebrate this important day which is the Birthday of the Church. Here are a few simple celebration ideas. Pentecost Activities and Prayers. A few other ideas on celebrating Pentecost.

3 Apostles are celebrated this month – Saints Philip and James on May 3rd and St. Matthias on May 14th. The Apostles were chosen by Jesus as the first bishops to go out and proclaim and witness the Gospel.

Often Religious Education Programs have ended sometime in April and many of the great saints and liturgical celebrations of May are not able to be celebrated or reflected upon. If you do have faith formation sessions, don’t miss the opportunity to share about these Feasts. At the very least give ideas to parents to celebrate these special days of May!

How have you celebrated these Feasts at your parish or in your own home?

The Freedom to……………….Shoes: Reject The Comfort of Sin

By Gabe Garnica

St. Teresa of Avila once stated, “We always find that those who walked closest to Christ were those who had to bear the greatest trials.”

Shoes, Comfort, Sin, and Appearances

I recently saw a woman wobbling down the street and having great difficulty walking. The other woman she was with kept pointing to this woman’s shoes and shaking her head. Ultimately, the stumbling woman simply took off her shoes and began to walk barefoot. From what I could decipher from a distance, it appears that the woman had been sacrificing comfort for appearances. While the shoes looked great and clearly fit the rest of her outfit, they did not fit her feet and proved more trouble than they were worth.

This recent Lent provided me with many opportunities to think about comfort, sin, and appearances.

Comfort is a Relative Thing

According to St. Paul, “For there shall be a time when they will not endure sound doctrine; but according to their own desires, they will heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears. And will indeed turn away their hearing from the truth, but will be turned unto fables.” (2 Tim 4:1-4)

Our world tells us that we can never have too much comfort. After all, what rational person would ever reject a more comfortable chair in favor of an uncomfortable one? Comfort is often equated in this world with money, such that most see having a lot of money as the way to find greater comfort. In the sense, many of us would question the sanity of someone like St. Francis of Assisi, who turned his back on a great fortune to live a life of poverty and want. Having too much money or too much comfort will not get anyone in this society any sympathy.

However, comfort is a relative thing. We probably all need at least some of it to function on a long-term basis. On the other hand, too much comfort may do us as much, if not more, harm than good. Comfort tends to slip us into the mentality of forgetting God and His blessings. Comfort tends to make us complacent and lukewarm in our faith. Comfort even fools us into believing that our happiness is wholly our own doing.

Comfort is a vicious cycle into self-obsession. The more comfortable we feel, the more selfish and self-absorbed we tend to become. Content in our own convenient abundance, we tend to forget the need and suffering of others.

We need only look at Christ to remember that comfort and Christianity are often polar opposites in this world. Our Lord was born into and regularly faced poverty, rejection, and inconvenience. If we aspire to follow Christ, we must likewise aspire to, and even embrace, discomfort as the price.

Tolerance for Sin as Compromise for Comfort

Fulton Sheen said, “Tolerance applies only to persons, never to truth…or principles. About these things, we must be intolerant.”

Psychologists tell us that people tend to seek stability and consistency in their lives while instinctively pulling away from discomfort and chaos. It would be wonderful if this all meant that everyone lined up in neat lines marching toward heaven and salvation and away from the chaos of sin. However, human nature is an arrogant fool. Sadly, we find that this world increasingly views sin as sanity and rejection of sin as chaos. Charity and mercy call on us to be tolerant of the sinner, but intolerant of the sin—most especially our own.

Increasingly surrounded and enticed by sin, we often find it much more comfortable to accept, rationalize, and even embrace sin as the path of least upheaval and greater acceptance by this world. We wear the distorted shoes of sin so often that we soon see our limp as the accepted way to walk.

Reject the Appearances and Moral Fashions of this World

This society immerses itself in the notion of tolerance as a universal good without accepting the reality that not all tolerance is a good thing. What would happen if we tolerated murder, rape, and other violent crimes? Is it even rational to be a Catholic who supports abortion? Obsessed with appearances and superficial morality, we too often stumble along in shoes of sin we got in the habit of wearing.

We cannot be tolerant of sin in our lives. We must foster a personality and nature that rejects the sin that will surely come across our way with each passing day. Being weak and inconsistent human beings, we will often fall in some way during this year. Rather than spend all of our time and efforts avoiding the falls, we must dedicate a good portion of our preparation and fortitude to constructively dealing with the falls that will surely come.

Conclusion

As members of this society and world, we can all fall for the lure of acceptance, popularity, and group pressure. If we get too used to wearing the warped shoes of sin, we will eventually become so accustomed to their fit that all confession, contrition, or remorse will seem useless and unnecessary.

Lukewarm compromise and those who sold out their morals become increasingly tepid in our faith. The greatest evil and lie is feeling hopeless under the weight of our sins. Divine Mercy reminds us that Christ will always reach out to us if we reach out to him. We reach out to Our Lord by frequent confession and Communion, prayer, and good works for others.

Stop stumbling along in the distorted shoes of sin just for acceptance or the sake of appearances. Do not seek the comfort and convenience of this world over the struggles of following Christ. Embrace the discomfort of your sin as the sign that you have not compromised your faith and values. Likewise, embrace Divine Mercy as Our Lord’s promise to reach out to you as long as you find sin uncomfortable in your life. Above all, love God so much that you will always see sin as an intolerable and uncomfortable pair of shoes you simply refuse to wear.

2018 Gabriel Garnica

Understanding the Difference Between Grief and Depression

By Jeannie Ewing

When devastating loss hits our lives, we tend to respond with deep, intense sorrow. Initially, it might feel very uncomfortable for us, because grief stirs up many complicated and painful emotions. In time, we might hear well-intentioned friends or family members say, “Maybe it’s time to move on.” So we wonder, “Is this normal to feel like this? Am I depressed?”

Periods of grief can be confusing as we’re sorting through strong reactions, unexpected behaviors, and unwanted feelings or thoughts. It’s easy to see why most of us might get grief and the clinical diagnosis of depression mixed up at times. Here are some clear indicators that you are struggling with depression or a form of pathological grief called complicated grief.

First, your response of anger, sadness, confusion, loneliness, and guilt in the immediate aftermath of loss is a normal response. It’s important to note patterns of behavior over time, which may indicate that you need further professional and/or medical help.

The DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – 5th Revision) is what clinical psychologists and physicians who are psychiatrists use to diagnose specific conditions that can be treated well with medication and therapy. Now classified as Major Depressive Disorder, here are the criteria for diagnosis. Keep in mind that these symptoms must be prevalent for at least two consecutive weeks:

Suicidal ideations (e.g. thinking and tendencies);
Excessive weight loss or weight gain (or increased/decreased appetite);
Energy loss and fatigue;
Feelings of worthlessness;
Irritability;
Poor concentration;
Change in sleep patterns (insomnia or hypersomnia – sleeping very little or too much).

Similarly, there is a clinical condition called complicated grief that mimics some symptoms of depression. The criteria include:

Loss occurred over 6 months ago;
Rumination over the loss/can’t get it off of your mind;
Feeling that life is meaningless or worthless;
Feeling shock/numbness;
Neglecting self-care or care of others who need you (e.g. children);
Auditory/Visual hallucinations of the person who has died;
Inability to accept the loss;
Strong feelings or reactions to any memory related to the loss;
Cannot trust others or discuss anything other than the loss.

These symptoms must be present consistently for at least one month and significantly interfere with daily life.

Normal grief is acute; it comes and goes – sometimes without warning. But a clinical diagnosis is probable if you feel stuck and as if you are unable or unwilling to move through the grief rather than avoid or deny its presence and what it can teach you about suffering and empathy for others who are suffering. When in doubt, seek professional help. Go to your doctor and have an honest conversation. Listen to your loved ones’ concern about your welfare and take them into consideration.

(Note: I am not a physician or psychologist, and this information is not intended to replace or treat any condition you have. It’s for informational purposes only.)

Adapted from my book, From Grief to Grace: The Journey from Tragedy to Triumph.

We Call This Friday Good

By Amanda Woodiel

I have a friend who moved to the United States some twenty years ago. Although she speaks the language fluently, she hasn’t quite lost her accent, and a colloquialism will occasionally still mystify her. That’s how I am with the Catholic church. Twelve years ago I came into the Church as a young woman. Though I feel at home here, I still stumble upon meditations that strike me as so strange that I realize I am a foreigner.

This was the first Lent since I started praying a daily Rosary, and somewhere along the way it was suggested to me that I pray only the sorrowful mysteries in Lent (except Sundays). So day after day I have meditated on the Agony, the Scourging, the Crowning with Thorns, the Carrying of the Cross, and the Crucifixion.

What has jumped out at me is the juxtaposition of these mysteries with the phrase of the Hail Mary: “Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.”

Blessed are thou among women….said again and again as I contemplated His agony, His body slick with bloody sweat, His face in the dirt he made.

Blessed art thou among women…as I contemplated the whips tearing at his flesh, furious lashes that end only when his executioners have worn themselves out from the effort.

Blessed art thou among women…as I saw her Son humiliated, scorned, spat upon, and struck repeatedly so that the thorns of the grotesque crown impale his head.

Blessed art thou among women…as I watched Our Lady watch her son’s battered, mutilated body stumble under the weight of the cross, a spectacle to the indifferent and an abomination to the contemptuous.

Blessed art thou among women…as she stands by Him crucified, witness to His struggle to breathe, His enduring of the unfathomable torture.

Blessed is she? Blessed? What mom dreams of the day when she will stand beside her son while he is tortured? On the face of it, it seems like a mockery to repeat this over fifty times in the face of His Passion. At any rate, it is a jarring enough paradox that it gave me pause. I knew then that I am still not a native to the church.

Forty days’ meditation gave me time to reflect. That she is blessed, I believe. So, as in so many teachings of the church that I didn’t immediately grasp, it was time to dig deeper.

How can it be that Our Lady is blessed in these days of Holy Week?

We see the world upside down, so writes Father Michael Scanlan in his book Let the Fire Fall. I believe that Mary’s blessedness in the face of the Passion is the right-side-up way to view it. I need to adjust my vision.

As in so many things, I was looking at the Passion in primarily the physical sense. Material being that I am, this body is so present to me that it usually constitutes my first consideration. But what if I were to look at the Passion in primarily spiritual terms? What if I thought about it as Fr John Riccardo presents it in his meditation on the Rosary (found here)–as the world’s greatest athlete gearing up for the single most important competition in history? What if I saw the spiritual implications of the Passion first–Jesus about to save the world from the rule of Satan?

Here, Jesus, though he looks like the defeated, is actually victorious, for he, as a priest said in a meditation I once went to, had enticed the devil to do the one thing the devil could not do–kill God Himself. It was a chess match, and while it looked as though the King had been taken, he had actually set a trap that would end in checkmate against his opponent. It was a daring, heroic, stupendous, awe-some, all-in kind of plan.

Did Our Lady understand the Passion on the spiritual level–as a supernatural match for which the prize was the human soul? Spouse of the Holy Spirit, the woman who will crush the serpent under her heel, the mother of God, I imagine she herself very well may have undergone severe temptations and wrestling with the devil in her own hidden life. She must have been clued into the spiritual realm of the Passion, even if she did not fully know what would happen three days hence.

Blessed indeed was she! She saw her son undergo bodily torture, yes, but through that, she saw him win the war. She saw him, fully human as well as fully God, not recoil from the agony of body and soul but instead stand victorious in the redemption of our human nature.

That one there is my son. The one who is wrestling all of the powers of hell but who stands–bloody, yes–but triumphant. That’s my boy–the one who whose suffering gives historic and eternal witness to the profound love of God. That one hanging there is mine, the one who is willingly giving his very life to save the eternal souls of the human race. Jesus is my son. I am blessed.

Power Perfected in Weakness and Failure as a Pathway to Grace

By Lisa Mladinich

St. Paul speaks quite a bit about boasting!

In his second letter to the Corinthians, he mentions that he has been the recipient of many revelations and could well boast. After all, Jesus himself has spoken directly to Paul, on the road to Damascus. Paul is a beloved preacher and has won many souls for God. But instead of boasting of his achievements, which he recognizes as a distraction, he boasts because the Lord has permitted him to be a weak and troubled vessel. An “angel of Satan,” he says, torments his flesh.

Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. (2 Cor 12:8-9)

Here’s my weakness.

I rather casually gave up complaining for Lent, right at the last minute, because I hadn’t really given it much thought. But I know that I complain too much, so it seemed like a great idea, and honestly, I really didn’t expect it to be that hard.

But the Lord saw fit to allow me to go through a period of intense suffering that has consumed my Lent.

An old emotional wound that I thought was healed broke open and my life became profoundly dark. The pain was unrelenting and terrible. I was raw and weak. To say that I was overflowing with complaints and loss of temper is an understatement. I was a total mess for most of Lent, which got me going to confession a lot more than usual, which brought me more graces than usual.

The Crucifixion, Francisco de Zurbarán, 1627

In agony, I clung to Jesus and contemplated the cross. I was in desolation.

But that desolation is a privilege, according to the saints. Hard to accept, but it’s so revealing. I felt so intimate with Christ. One day, I looked up at the cross at Mass and the thought came to me, “He felt this. So it must be a good thing to feel.”

I didn’t get a rush of good feelings—the pain remained—but I had a deep sense of calm that I knew was His voice in my soul, and it has not left me.

And I learned something that is probably the biggest grace I’ve ever received in any Lent in all of my 58 years as a Catholic:

It was strangely empowering being so weak and so desperate.

I had nothing to boast about but the cross.

But may I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. (Gal 6:14)

Total failure was the place where Jesus met me, this Lent. Failure cleared away all my pride and showed me that the cross could truly be a place of victory.

In the eighth century, St. Andrew of Crete wrote that the cross is “both the sign of God’s suffering and the trophy of his victory” because the cross is “the means by which the devil was wounded and death conquered.”

Chris Tomlin sings a song called, “At the Cross,” and my favorite line says that the cross is “a place where sin and shame are powerless.”

Jesus rendered my sin and my shame powerless: through the cross, through the consecration, and through reconciliation. So that when I was weakest, I received a gift that I don’t think I would have received if I were having a “perfect” Lent and feeling good about myself.

Yesterday, I was at an RCIA review session, and one of the team members was describing the moment of the consecration, at Mass, when the priest elevates the host. She told the catechumens that as we enter into the one-time sacrifice of the cross, Jesus is lifted up and offered to the Father for all of our sins, for all time.

But she added that, as baptized members of the Body of Christ, at the moment of the consecration, we too are lifted up and offered to the Father, and that bestows on us an astounding dignity.

In Holy Week, we will walk with Jesus through the failures of those he loves. Contemplate his response when the apostles all flee him and when Peter denies him three times. Jesus never stops working to save them.

Even the crucified thief, who squandered his life in sin–St. Dismas, whose feast day was today (March 25)–received the gift of paradise that very day. Why? Because, in the depths of his failure, St. Dismas recognized that he needed mercy and that Jesus was the Lord. And the response of Jesus went beyond his wildest imaginings. Paradise. THAT DAY.

My major offering for Lent was to avoid complaining. During the previous five weeks, I have complained more than I have in many years. To say that I failed is an understatement. My sin of complaint and ingratitude was magnified; it exploded and expanded and became epic in its power to color my days.

And yet, that sense of powerlessness drew me closer to God and increased my trust. At a particularly low moment, when the pain was almost unbearable, I felt God urging me to count blessings—which felt like sprinkling a thimbleful of water on a blazing fire. To turn my thoughts away from complaint and refocus on what was beautiful in my life was like walking head-on into a hurricane. I recognize that this powerful resistance within me was partly my own weakness and sin but also a sign of a spiritual battle taking place in my soul.

And yet, when I yielded grudgingly and started counting the beauty of the day, my comfortable home, my family and friends, my health—simple things—strength returned, and my mind began to clear. What had seemed unrelentingly dark faded and receded. It was like breaking a spell.

Our failures can bring us closer to God; they can make us more aware of our dependence, more ardent in prayer, and more childlike.

It is not the failure He focuses on; it is the disposition of our hearts.

Are we reaching for him? Learning from our falls? Resting in mercy?

For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten Son, that believers would not perish but would have eternal life. (John 3:16)

Our Redemption and Memory

By Gabe Garnica

As we proceed through Lent, the recurring themes of redemption and forgiveness bubble to the surface of our thoughts. We understand redemption as literally being saved from our own sinfulness through the blood of Christ. Left to ourselves, we would surely fall under the repeated weight of our imperfection and weakness. Through God Almighty’s love and mercy embodied in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, however, we aspire to a salvation we would not otherwise be capable of attaining.

A critical, core component of this second chance for salvation is the willingness of both sides to forget a sinful past. By this I mean that our redemption is possible only if both God Almighty and each of us as sinners are willing to forget our past sins.

God Almighty’s memory of our sins

God’s willingness is especially supported by a trio of scriptural references. In The Book of Hebrews (8:12) God tells us

For I will forgive their evildoing and remember their sins no more.

In The Book of Psalms (103:12) we find David’s wonderful expression that

As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our sins from us.

Finally, in Isaiah (43:25) we find God’s powerful assurance that

It is I, I, who wipe out, for my own sake, your offenses; your sins I remember no more.

People often have difficulty with the notion of a perfect and omniscient God forgetting anything. Scholars debate whether this simply means that He chooses not to act on our past sins or that He, as all-powerful, chooses to forget. Here we must insert one of my favorite saints, St. Therese The Little Flower, who reminds us to trust God with child-like innocence immersed in love.

Our memory of our sins

Having confirmed God’s part in this dual forgetting, we must turn to ourselves. It is ironic that the same imperfection which leads us to sin likewise prevents us from forgiving ourselves for the very sins that God is willing to forgive us for! How many people avoid confession altogether out of fear or shame? How many others turn their very confessions into further sin by concealing sin? Finally, how many of us leave the confessional doubting God’s mercy?

Recall the lesson of Judas and Peter. Judas let his pride and doubt lead to hopelessness, despair, and ultimate, final surrender to the Devil after his sin. In contrast, Peter’s love of Christ overwhelmed his pride leading to humble contrition and surrender to Christ’s love and mercy. Both men’s ultimate destiny was not shaped by their respective sins but, rather, by their response to their own sin. What better example of such mercy can we find than Our Lord’s promise of paradise to the contrite thief in Calvary?

Conclusion

Scripture confirms God’s promise to forget our sinful past. The harder question as we move through Lent is how willing we are to forget that past ourselves as we reach out to a lovingly forgiving, and forgetting, God.

2018 Gabriel Garnica

What is Grief?

By Jeannie Ewing

Popular counselors tend to affirm the common definition of grief in our western culture: that it is a period of designated mourning following the death of a loved one. While this is certainly true, it is a narrow and limited understanding of what grief encompasses. Perhaps that’s why it’s so hard for most of us to recognize when we are grieving.

What I have learned, both from personal experience and in my professional background, is that grief includes any significant and devastating loss. This could be the death of your beloved pet; the sudden loss of your job; a child born with a genetic condition or disability (as in our case); a spouse who has left you; caring for an elderly parent who is suffering from dementia; struggling in the aftermath of sexual assault; recovering from PTSD as a military veteran; making ends meet as a single mother; healing after abortion; hidden sorrow from a miscarriage or stillbirth.

There are countless life circumstances that trigger our grief experiences. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it does help to get us thinking – or rethinking – about what grief is and how it affects us when life goes in a direction other than what we’d imagined.

Here are some points to remember when you are grieving:

Any loss that is significant in your life can cause grief. You might feel sad, lost, lonely, or angry. These are some of the normal feelings associated with loss.
Change can provoke a sense of loss, too. Every change in life – moving, having a baby, getting a new job – entails both good and bad, the possibilities of what is in store as well as the loss of what is left behind.
There is no timeline for grief! Despite what others may believe, or what you might also think, grief happens on its own terms. You can neither predict nor hasten how you will experience grief.
Be gentle and patient with yourself when you are grieving. There will be days or weeks that seem more “normal” to you, but you may have what you feel are setbacks – moments of frustration, longing for what once was and is no longer, a crying spell after hearing a song.
Grief involves physical and emotional changes in your life, but don’t neglect the spiritual dimension of grief. Our faith tells us that suffering is not lost upon God when we hand it to Him with humility and sincerity. Suffering is redemptive in this way.
Find ways to process your pain. For some, this includes journaling memories or perhaps creating visual art. For others, it might be taking a walk, talking to a trusted friend or pastor, Eucharistic Adoration.

My hope is that we will shift our focus from eschewing suffering to embracing it. A wonderful devotion for those who are suffering is the Divine Mercy chaplet and novena. We would all do well to extend mercy to ourselves and others who are grieving a loss.

(Note: I will include a separate post about Divine Mercy related to grief at a later date.)

Paraphrased from my book, From Grief to Grace: The Journey from Tragedy to Triumph.

Learning to Live with Mystery

By Amanda Woodiel

The Christian worldview is chock full of mystery. How Jesus is both true God and true Man; how God is Three Persons but One Substance; how Jesus comes to us–body, blood, soul, and divinity–under the appearances of bread and wine: these are some of the great mysteries of our faith. We are steeped in these mysteries, and we are comfortable (for the most part) that our finite minds cannot fully comprehend the greatness of God. After all, some say, how much of a god is a God who is completely understood?

The mysteries of each other, however–those mysteries engender more discomfort. Whenever we hear of a tragedy intentionally perpetrated, the first question is usually “Why?” Why would someone do that? We seek to understand, because somehow understanding brings with it some measure of comfort.

But what if we can’t understand? And what if the mystery is closer to our own hearts: someone close to us who has hurt us unimaginably? When we try to sort out “why?” or “how could he?”–well, that mystery is almost unbearable.

I had always held closely a hope that when my father died, the mystery of his activities and his intentions would be solved. He passed away recently, and along with the grief of losing a parent and the shock of its suddenness, comes the grief that the mystery–instead of being revealed–has instead become more clouded and more strange.

What do we do when we must live with the mysteries of a human soul that we cannot penetrate? Clearly, I will not know more about my father’s thoughts, motivations, or activities in this life. The pieces simply don’t fit together no matter how many times I have turned them over in my mind.

When a painful mystery of life so presses upon our minds and hearts that it feels like murky waters poised to engulf us, it seems to me that we have two options. We can struggle against it, flailing our limbs in an attempt to stay upright. We can try to analyze the mystery and expend untold energy and time trying to unravel events, sort out truth, and understand the motivations of another’s heart.

Sometimes, though, we simply can’t fathom the answer. In that event, not all is lost, for we can learn to float. We can submit to our human nature. The fact is, we were not made to know all–certainly not the workings that lie at the bottom of another’s soul. We can adopt a posture of humility and lie peacefully atop the surface of the water. One way saps strength; the other preserves it. One keeps our eyes fixed on the sphere below; the other trains our eyes toward heaven.

Fortunately, truth isn’t only a set of facts but is a Person. I can choose to rest in Truth, who is Jesus Christ. Here I accept the finite nature of my human mind and yield to the God who is infinite but who loves me so completely that he came to me in history and comes to me in the Mass. I don’t understand the mystery of my father, but He does. Furthermore, if it were to my soul’s good that I unravel the mystery surrounding my dad, He would show it to me. He hasn’t yet. He might one day, but today and all days, I can rest in utter assurance that not knowing must be for my best.

When you encounter a mystery in life that cannot be solved–learn to float. You might catch a glimpse of heaven.

MAC Notes For Praying With Children

By Lisa Mladinich

It was a great joy to present some ideas about praying with children, this past Friday (February 16), at the Mid-Atlantic Congress, in Baltimore. It touched my heart very much to be in Maryland (Mary-land!) surrounded by dedicated people of faith.

I want to thank all of you who attended for your warmth, your attention, and most of all for your commitment to bring the Faith to others, no matter how difficult that task may seem. But we know that God is faithful, and what we plant He waters.

Please feel free to ask questions in the com boxes and I’ll add more material, as needed. Here are the bullet points, reading resources, Catechism quotes, Scriptures, and other elements of the talk:

The Annunciation, by Henry Tanner

I began by talking about the fact that we are all made for supernatural experiences and interactions. It is natural for us to experience the supernatural! From the beginning of our lives to the moment we enter heaven, we are accompanied by a guardian angel, a pure spirit so unique that it is a separate species from all other spirits (according to Catholic angelologists). This mighty being beholds the face of God in heaven and attends to our souls with perfect dedication and love.

I shared two prayers from my new book, Heads Bowed: Prayers for Catholic School Days. The first is from Week One and was written for the adult preparing for the school year (there are two weeks of preparation prayers), and the other is from Week Nine of the children’s prayers and provides a prayer lesson on the same topic: Angels!

Here they are:

Holy Angels, you surround us with your prayerful and protective presence at all times, and I thank you. I ask that you watch over our classroom throughout the coming year, filling it with your praises to God and guarding it diligently with your holy presence and your powerful prayers. Draw down from heaven every grace and blessing we need to heal our wounds, repent of our sins, and offer our sufferings in union with the cross of Jesus Christ for the good of souls. Amen. (Week 1: Theme: Strength in Weakness)

Dear Jesus, St. Anselm taught that from the moment we are created in our mother’s womb, God gives us a guardian angel to watch over us. We are precious to God no matter how small we are. Even though we are hidden away for a little while before we were born, God always sees us and loves us! After we are born, God’s angel stays with us throughout our lives and guides us safely to God, when we die. Our angel will not leave us or stop praying for us until we are ready to enter into the joy of heaven! Amen. (Week 9: Theme: The Unborn)

Nothing is more natural than teaching the Faith through prayer. We do this naturally when we are raising our own children. We call out the attributes of God, express our trust in His mercy, and use a language of love that helps each child feel they are a part of something beautiful and true.

Every one of the almost 300 prayers in my book is a short catechetical lesson, as well as a prayer. The collection spans about 10 months of school days, plus special occasion prayers, a glossary of challenge words, and a scriptural reference for each week. The traditional dedications of the days and months, the liturgical seasons, virtues, and mysteries of the Rosary, are also woven into the prayers, so that young children experience them simply and older children and adults have more to interest them.

More notes:

We ourselves express an amazing nature that will be perfected, in heaven. On earth, we possess five senses that help us to access the intangibles of heaven, and after the Resurrection of the Dead, our glorified senses will be even more amazing! That’s why the Church is so wise about beauty, which is a gateway to truth and goodness–to God Himself.

Body and Soul: One Human Nature: CCC 365

The unity of soul and body is so profound that one has to consider the soul to be the “form” of the body: i.e., it is because of its spiritual soul that the body made of matter becomes a living, human body; spirit and matter, in man, are not two natures united, but rather their union forms a single nature.

When Jesus entered into time, He sanctified it. And when He took on human flesh, he sanctified that, too. That means that every moment of our lives is holy and our lives have meaning and purpose from our earliest biological beginnings to the very end of our natural lives. It is all His! Every moment is precious. The world tells us otherwise, discarding the helpless unborn and the elderly, which is the darkest kind of ignorance, masquerading as sophistication.

Note: Those who have been lied to, indoctrinated, pressured, and wounded by these evils (i.e., post-abortive women and families) are tenderly loved by God and need only seek His healing love to be restored and strengthened, to be given new life, and to carry out their true purpose in Him. Check out Rachel’s Vineyard for loving support in finding healing.

Never doubt the dignity of your own soul. God, who contains the entire universe and all of heaven–the angels, saints, holy souls, our beloved who are living and those who have died, the stars and planets, every layer of creation–this God abides tenderly and devotedly in our souls. Within our souls dwells the Holy Spirit, by virtue of our baptism, and each time we receive Jesus in the Eucharist, we become tabernacles of His holy presence. That Presence has an impact on the world around us, as it radiates through us.

St. Therese of Lisieux said, “How great must a soul be to contain a God.”
Jesus said, “If a man loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” (Jn 14:23)
When the Lord is with us, we are empowered to live the adventure of our own lives, to fulfill the unique calling of God to our individual souls!
God wants to make a masterpiece in our souls.
Learning and teaching the Faith is a key to that wondrous transformation in Christ.

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Learning our faith a little at a time draws us closer to God and empowers our mission.

As we move through our lives, studying our faith, we “scratch” at ideas that may be familiar, but perhaps we don’t fully understand, yet. The Liturgical year takes us round and round the treasure map of our faith, and we scratch a little every year, going deeper into the treasury of grace and knowledge that feeds our walk with Christ. If we keep scratching a little at a time, we uncover treasures that change our lives, light our souls on fire, and make it impossible for us to keep our excitement to ourselves.

I absolutely love Dr. Edward Sri’s book, A Biblical Walk Through the Mass: Understanding What We Say and Do in the Liturgy. He takes each piece of the Mass, scratches and digs deeply into the origins and biblical connections, and unearths the treasures within. He begins with the very start of the Mass:

“On the one hand, from a Scriptural perspective, the words ‘The Lord be with you’ remind us of the high calling we each have. As God’s children, we each have a particular mission to fulfill in the Father’s plan…each of us has a role that no one else can play…these words also assure us that we have access to a higher power that can support us through the trials and challenges of life and help us be faithful in whatever task God has entrusted to us.” (p. 26)

Dr. Sri goes on to explain that when God says, “I will be with you,” or an angel says, “The Lord is with you,” he is saying that we need not fear anything. He describes some examples: Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Mary. Each is empowered to accomplish the impossible, in friendship with God.

When we hear the priest say, at Mass, “The Lord be with you,” we should hear the voice of the Lord saying to us:

I will equip you, I will provide for you, I will defend you, and I will give you victory.
Through the gift of Himself in the Eucharist, Christ strengthens us.
Our heroes are heroes because they trusted in the power of God.
Prayer and study change us, opening us up to God’s grace (LIFE).
When we persevere in prayer and sacramental life, we become radiant witnesses.

Pope Paul VI famously wrote: “Modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they are witnesses.”

We all want to be radiant witnesses, but I sometimes feel, working with children, that I’m ill-prepared or uninspired, so I pray, “Lord, light me up! You are my wattage!” And He never lets me down. If I walk out of class feeling like a failure, I say, “Lord, I don’t know what I did in there, but I know You did something!”

The amazing Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen always prayed before he taught: “Lord, send me Pentecostal fire!”

But to become Radiant Witnesses, we need sacramental healing and cleansing: confession. Here’s the fun commercial I do at all my talks. When you do this for your own presentations, have fun! Sell it! Make them laugh. It will help them remember.

Feeling tired? Rundown? Discouraged? Feel like Jesus hasn’t been answering your prayers, lately? Well, how would you like to get back in the game so fast it’ll make the enemy’s head spin? Get some religion, get your groove back? Let the light of the Lord shine right through you and out to the world? Well, you’re in luck! Because right now you, my friend, can get back in the race with some sanctifying grace. Discovering the elation of reconciliation. Free at last! Free of charge, at a Catholic parish near you, where a priest is waiting to take your call. Get back in the game. Get back to confession!

Why It is Important to Pray With Children

Adults humbly approaching the throne of God is a powerful witness.
Recognizing something greater than ourselves is an important reality check.
Respecting authority in childhood—leads to exercising healthy authority as adults.
Praying together gives children a blueprint for prayer—they mimic to learn the language of love.
They realize they can have a relationship with God, Our Lady, the saints, angels, and the Holy Souls.
They are reminded that they are made for supernatural encounters.
Prayer empowers them to enter into the mystery—and the paradoxes of a life lived for God.
Memories and habits of prayer, soaked in love, become rich in meaning and take root for a lifetime.
An intimate relationship with God is an indispensable means to achieving their life’s purpose with clarity.
The habit of prayer strengthens them to stand against dark influences and live for God.

Pixabay

Working prayer into our lessons and lessons into our prayers

Here, I shared some ideas about the naturalness of prayer as a way to teach, and lessons as a way to incorporate prayer, beginning with the Sign of the Cross–again, based on a lesson from Dr. Sri’s book. I began with this excerpt, however, from an EWTN interview with author and editor, Bert Ghezzi:

Bert Ghezzi (from EWTN interview):

The sign of the cross is: a confession of faith; a renewal of baptism; a mark of discipleship; an acceptance of suffering; a defense against the devil; and a victory over self-indulgence.
When you make the sign, you are professing a mini version of the creed — you are professing your belief in the Father, and in the Son and in the Holy Spirit.
When you say the words and pray in someone’s name you are declaring their presence and coming into their presence— that’s how a name is used in Scripture.

The ancient version of the Hebrew letter “Tav” looks like a cross (or an X)

Dr. Sri talked about “signs” in the Bible:

Exodus 12: Passover: the Israelites were spared because of the lamb’s blood on their doorposts
Revelations 7:3: the saints in heaven have a seal on their forehead
Ezekial 9:4: those marked with the TAV were spared the wrath of God.

St. John Chrysostom said this about the Sign of the Cross:

When, then, you make the sign of the cross on the forehead, arm yourself with a saintly boldness, and reinstall your soul in its old liberty; for you are not ignorant that the cross is a prize beyond all price.

Consider what is the price given for your ransom, and you will never more be slave to any man on earth. This reward and ransom is the cross. You should not then, carelessly make the sign on the forehead, but you should impress it on your heart with the love of a fervent faith. Nothing impure will dare to molest you on seeing the weapon, which overcometh all things.

All of this to say that when we “scratch” below the surface and find treasures, we cannot help but share them and that passion ignites a fire in children.

Pixabay

Creating a Prayerful Environment for Children:

No phones, please. The addictive quality of cell phones and other electronic devices is very real and should be prohibited in class.
Basic discipline should create a safe environment for the shyest children. Don’t let alpha kids take over. Be forgiving but firm.
Your own example of faith and reverence is contagious.
Beauty! As we know, our souls are touched by beauty. Use it as much as you can: sacred art, candles, music, Easter and Christmas cards! God speaks through beauty and touches our hearts when nothing else can.

Meeting Them Where They Are

Learning styles and developmental issues can be understood easily. Lots of information is available online.
They remember how you made them feel, so ask Jesus to act through you and speak through you with the love only He can give.
The grace of forgiveness and second chances: show mercy, while maintaining order.
Children’s memories and associations: sometimes they surprise us with weird connections. They are making memories, as they connect their own ideas with the new ones. Don’t despair that they don’t seem to understand. They’re working on it.
Communication and cleaning up messes: be sensitive to the children’s feelings. You don’t know how much you may matter to them or how God may be touching that child by your witness, without your knowledge. If you think you may have done something insensitive, circle back and make amends.
Prayer Basket keeps the community strong: get the names of all their loved ones on cards that go in a basket for weekly prayer. They stay connected with the community of the classroom that way, even when they are not able to be present.

First Through Third Grade

A decade of the Rosary takes five minutes! Inviting Our Lady into the classroom makes everything better. And Sister Lucia, one of the seers of Fatima (and many saints) have said, “…there is no problem that cannot be resolved by the recitation of the Holy Rosary.” It is a spiritual weapon par excellence!
Intentions clarified: make sure the children understand what they are praying for. Invite feedback.
Marching to hymns of praise gets their wiggles out and provides a liturgical feel as you transition to the next activity.
Spontaneous prayer is important. If a child brings up a worry or concern, pray on the spot.
Throwing their prayers up to God. I have them close their eyes and hold out their hands, palms up, giving God everything on their hearts and then making a tossing motion, giving it to him to take care of.
God can make good come out of any bad thing, can bring beauty from ugliness, and hope from despair. Keep weaving this into prayer with them.
Name saints! I research the children’s names at the start of the year and weave those saints into lesson time.
Trips to the Church are essential: entering reverently, blessing themselves with holy water, and genuflecting with their eyes on the tabernacle (greeting Jesus silently in their hearts) can be practiced ahead of time, in class. I love to walk through the Stations of the Cross with them, having the boys say one half and the girls the other, and then switching halfway through (We bless thee oh Lord and we praise you; for by your holy cross you have redeemed the world). Talking about the altar as a table for a holy meal, a place of sacrifice (the Lamb of God), and connecting it all to the sacraments gives them more connection to the Mass.
Sacramentals: have them reverently practice venerating blessed sacramentals: i.e., a crucifix, a sacred image, a relic, a medal.
Living a moment in Scripture: I act out Bible stories with my kids after I read them aloud, so they get to experience in different ways: they hear the story, see the pictures, and then “live” it for a few short minutes. Every learning style is covered, this way, and it helps them remember. It’s all very easy and loose. For more information, see my booklet, Be An Amazing Catechist: Inspire the Faith of Children.

Fourth Through Eighth Grade and Beyond

See above, plus…
Cultivating silence: their lives are noisy. Give them opportunities to experience silent prayer.
Spiritual bouquets for the Holy Souls: these powerful allies in purgatory need our prayers and pray for us with great impact when we pray for them. Establish this relationship early. It benefits the Church and many souls.
Adopting a mission or ministry: choose something where they can receive progress reports and other kinds of feedback, so they see the impact of their prayers and a way to help out when they are old enough.
Relationships with saints: through their name saints, the liturgical year, and martyr stories, children can be intrigued about the saints and want to know them better and learn from them. Also, namesaintgenerator.com is a great online resource. Have them pray to the Holy Spirit, then click the interface to choose a saint. They should study the saint’s life and pray, “Teach me what you know,” for a set period of time.
Eucharistic miracles: true accounts abound and are fascinating to tweens and teens: see this website: http://therealpresence.org/

Scroll down to these images for more information.

Incorruptibles: these somewhat strange miraculous occurrences fascinate teens and tweens.
Adoration: teens often find a personal relationship with Christ in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I even take very young children and tell them that Jesus is waiting for them, His arms loaded with gifts of grace. They should silently tell Him about their day, share their hopes and worries, and pray simply, “Jesus, I adore You!” With older students, we memorize the Anima Christi for after Communion and for Adoration:

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from the side of Christ, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malignant enemy defend me
At the hour of my death call me
And bid me come to Thee
That with thy saints I may praise thee
Forever and ever
Amen

Special liturgies that involve them in the planning, reading, and music, help them to understand the Mass and their role as contributing members of the community.
Conferences can do what we can’t. Chastity, TOB, the Real Presence, Vocations–youth speakers have a powerful calling to reach the hearts and minds of teens and tweens. Do whatever you can to get your middle and high school students to appropriate events.

Remember, what we plant, He waters!

Here’s my resource list! Let me know if you need anything else. I’m happy to help!

Published Resources:

Heads Bowed: Prayers for Catholic School Days, by Lisa Mladinich (Liguori Publications)

Be An Amazing Catechist: Inspire the Faith of Children, by Lisa Mladinich (in English and Spanish, from Our Sunday Visitor)

Be An Amazing Catechist: Sacramental Preparation, by Lisa Mladinich (in English and Spanish, from Our Sunday Visitor)

A Biblical Walk Through the Mass: Understanding What We Say and Do in the Liturgy, by Edward Sri (Ascension Press)

The Happiness of Heaven: The Joys and Rewards of Eternal Glory, by Fr. J. Boudreau, S.J. (1870) (TAN reprint)

Champions of the Rosary: The History and Heroes of a Spiritual Weapon, by Father Donald Calloway (Marian Press)

What Matters Most: Empowering Young Catholics for Life’s Big Decisions, by Leonard J. DeLorenzo (Ave Maria Press)

Prayer for Beginners, by Peter Kreeft (Ignatius Press)

Free Online Resources:

AmazingCatechists.com

Article on praying with children: http://amazingcatechists.com/2018/02/teach-kids-pray-5-simple-steps/

CatholicMom.com (my puppet scripts)

https://catholicmom.com/kids/puppet-ministry/

MyFirstHolyCommunion.com (Tarcisius)

http://www.myfirstholycommunion.com/portfolio-view/st-tarcisius-boy-martyr-of-the-eucharist/

TheRealPresence.org

http://therealpresence.org/eucharst/mir/a3.html

SaintsNameGenerator.com

http://saintsnamegenerator.com/

Fisheaters.com (tour of the church)

https://www.fisheaters.com/churchbuilding.html