marriage advice Archives - Amazing Catechists

by Costanza Miriano

Published by Sophia Institute Press

As a volunteer in marriage preparation ministry, I am always on the lookout for approachable Catholic books to recommend to the engaged couples to help them as they enter into Holy Matrimony. It is important to equip couples with spiritual as well as practical advice. Costanza Miriano hit it out of the park with her book, Blessed Is the Day We “Got It Wrong.” As a married woman of 12 years, I had a lot to learn from Mrs. Miriano as well!

Like Advice From a Big Sister or Wise Aunt

As soon as I started Costanza’s book, I felt like I was having tea with a big sister or wise aunt (I have no big sister, and not many wise aunts). She writes in an honest, open, and entertaining (seriously, she’s hilarious!) way that had me immediately smiling and nodding along. She does not sugar coat married life (it is a cross, after all), and she gives plenty of practical advice along the way. The author presents a variety of true anecdotes and marital situations, most of which are extremely difficult and truly heart-breaking.

For example, Costanza shares stories of friends who ask her why they should even stay married when they don’t love each other anymore or when they feel they have become completely different people. This stuff is hard! I really appreciated the wisdom and advice that Costanza offered in each situation. It was real, honest, and practical.

Holy Matrimony is a Sacrament

I always steer clear of secular marriage books and advice because they all miss the big point that Holy Matrimony is a Sacrament. This book constantly reminds the reader of the grace that can be obtained when we enter into this Sacrament with our heart as open as possible, and when we enter in knowing that there will be trials. The author reminds us that these trials are meant to refine us, and that a deep commitment to Our Lord, the Sacraments, and prayer will be what fulfills us and helps us make it through. Matrimony can make us holy, and it is our duty to help each other reach Heaven.

Who Would Enjoy This Book

I think any engaged OR married Catholic couple would love this book. It is written primarily for a female audience, but it does have some words of wisdom for the men at the end.

It is witty, heartfelt, helpful, and authentically Catholic. It is very humorous, but I think even the most serious people would crack a smile at Costanza’s words. It would be especially helpful for married couples who are struggling. To me, this book says, “I see you, I understand you, and here is how you can repair your situation.”

This book would also make a lovely gift for St. Valentine’s Day for any couple, and would be a helpful gift for a newly engaged couple. I would even consider giving it to a couple who is not sure why they should get married in the Church. I think it explains this in an accessible, approachable, and honest way with lots of powerful anecdotes and a healthy dose of humor.

I loved the book so much I think i read the entire thing in about 2 days. It is wonderful to read about real, authentic married life from a Catholic lens.

You can find Blessed is the Day We “Got It Wrong” at Sophia Institute Press.

This book is also available on the Sophia Institute Santifi app as an ebook and audiobook.

Printable Worksheets on Loving Your In-Laws #freebie #4KEYS

By Karee Santos

It’s time to talk about in-laws! This is number three in the worksheet series for our Catholic marriage book, The Four Keys to Everlasting Love. Since chapters are organized by topic, you can join the discussion at any time, even if you’re late to the party. So please feel free to participate in the 4 Keys Online Book Club on Facebook, where we discuss the book every Saturday. TO DOWNLOAD AND PRINT THIS WORKSHEET, CLICK HERE.

Chapter 3 Worksheet

Turning Union into Communion:

Extending Your Love to Your In-Laws and Beyond

Marriage is more than the union of just two people. It’s also a union of two families. A married couple needs to craft a delicate balance between two Biblical priorities. First, they are called to leave their father and mother and cleave to their spouse, as it says in the Book of Genesis. Second, they still have the duty to honor and respect their parents, according to the Ten Commandments.

Many couples struggle with learning to love their in-laws. It helps to remember that in most cases what the in-laws really want is for your marriage to be successful, long-lasting, and happy. By loving our in-laws and extended family members, we follow Jesus’ command to love our neighbors as ourselves.

The more differences there are between the two families of origin, the more difficult it can be. As Manny and Karee say in Chapter Three of The Four Keys, “The two of us have extended families that include Sevillanos, Madrilenos, Colombians, French-Moroccans, Poles, Argentineans, Egyptians, and Virginians. Our family members’ religious affiliations range the gamut from Catholicism to Episcopalianism, Judaism, Coptic Orthodox, and former Muslim.” When we join our families in a new community of life and love, we fulfill Jesus’ desire that all the peoples of the earth may be one.

In Chapter Three, Manny and Karee show how marriages have a powerful ability to draw relatives closer together and how respectful communication techniques that work for the two of you also work with in-laws. They recount fascinating and amusing stories about relationships with in-laws from the Bible’s Old Testament. Chapter Three also teaches you how to:

Draw appropriate boundaries between yourselves and your in-laws
Respectfully listen to your in-laws ‘advice, even if you don’t ultimately follow it
Negotiate trouble spots like wedding planning, gift exchanges, and hosting the holidays

Conversation Starters

You can use the following conversation starters to get a discussion going among yourselves or in a small group. If it helps, think it over on your own time, take it to prayer, and jot down your answers before talking about them.

1. How would you describe your process for deciding how much involvement your in-laws have in your married life?

2. Can you remember a time when the two of you reached an impasse on this issue? How did you resolve it?

3. How do you handle holidays? Do you see room for improvement?

4. What do you believe is your responsibility toward both sets of your parents as they become elderly?

Marriage Rx: The Free eBook!

By Karee Santos

50 Inspirational Quotes to Make Your Marriage Better Today

We’re so pleased to share a free eBook with subscribers to our newsletter. In our newsletter, you’ll find encouraging articles, helpful tips, and updates on our book The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Will Bring You Joy for a Lifetime (available for pre-order here!).

Catechists, please take note! Our book does have the imprimatur, or permission to print, from the bishop of the Diocese of Rockville Centre, New York. So it is a trustworthy resource for marriage preparation, marriage renewal, and adult faith formation ministries.

Our free Marriage Rx eBook is meant to touch your heart and show you how God’s everlasting love can improve your married life today and every day. We’ve included quotes from diverse sources like Shakespeare and the Bible, plus excerpts from many Can We Cana? posts, especially the popular series How to Stay Married 10 Years & Then Some. You can click through to the full posts, if you wish — we’ve provided the links right inside the eBook.

Inside you’ll find useful and uplifting guidance on:

The ABCs of Communication
Work & Money
Friends, Family & Forgiveness
God & Prayer
Saints, Suffering & Sacrifice

Ready to be inspired?

For your free eBook, click here!

May God bless you and your marriages!

Yours in Christ,

Dr. Manuel and Karee Santos

The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: COVER REVEAL!

By Karee Santos

The thrill-ride of book publishing continues as we hit our next milestone: the cover of our new book, The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for a Lifetime!!! This Catholic marriage help book is already available for pre-order at Amazon.com (what a dream come true).

Our editor called publisher Ave Maria Press’ art department their “secret weapon” because of how great they are at developing attractive cover art, so we were overjoyed to work with them. Like everything else in publishing, coming up with a great cover is a long process. First, they asked us for ideas. We were super-excited about the key motif, so dear hubby Manny sketched this.

DRAFT A

Our publisher ran the idea past some focus groups and decided that the cover also needed to showcase the idea of marriage as a shared journey. So they combined both ideas in this stunning version.

DRAFT B

But, because I’m a lawyer, I have to tinker with everything. My sister-in-law Nancy described quite well the difference between working for most people — who say “great!!!” — and lawyers, who say “great! Now change this, fix that, improve the other thing….” I asked the art department to make the grass a little greener, because doesn’t everyone want that? And I asked them to make our foreword writer Christopher West‘s name a little bigger, because we are Very, Very Excited that he is supporting our Catholic marriage advice book. (His Facebook page just exceeded 50,000 likes, which is pretty major. Plus, he’s awesome.) So, the art department, gave us this, our final cover!!!

FINAL COVER (HURRAY!!!!)

Don’t you just love it? Please, please, tell all your friends and help spread the word.

In other news, our awesome book editor Heidi Hess Saxton left to become the Editorial Director at Servant Books/Franciscan Media. Our book project is now being shepherded by Ave Maria Press’ current Editorial Director Bob Hamma. We are honored to have worked with two people of such high caliber. And after Heidi left Ave Maria Press, CatholicMom founder Lisa Hendey joined them as editor-at-large. What a small world!