Amazing Catechists

Teaching and learning the faith together

Passive Waiting and Suffering Well

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We established that no one likes to wait and that a small fraction of our waiting experiences is what we term active, or Advent waiting. What, then, comprises the majority of those periods of life when we linger in tension, when we are in between or feeling stuck or lost?

Passive waiting is when we move from a place of knowing specifically that God will complete some good work He has begun in us to becoming entirely unaware and uncertain of what He is doing or asking of us. We move from subject to object in passive waiting. For example, if you are late to work and get stuck in the midst of unexpected construction, you are experiencing passive waiting. If you just had a biopsy and have to spent an agonizing week not knowing if you have cancer or not, you are in passive waiting.

These times when waiting is painful, when we do not choose to suffer, is precisely what makes life worthwhile. It’s not because of the suffering itself; it is because of what Passion gives birth to, that is, Resurrection. We know that suffering is not the end and that our tragedies can bring about beautiful blessings. But how do we understand passive waiting so that we can learn to suffer well, or at least better?

The Gift of Helplessness and Dependency

Maybe you or someone you know has recently become injured or suffered an accident that left him/her incapacitated. Maybe you have fallen ill with a terrible malady and simply cannot keep up your active lifestyle anymore. Maybe you are disabled.

These are all examples of the helpless state, whether temporary or permanent. And when we can’t move around like we’re used to – going to work, doing household chores, taking care of our families – we feel guilty, as if we are a burden. But God shows us the hidden gift of helplessness, because He deliberately sent His Son as an infant totally dependent on His Mother’s love and nourishment:

The popular imagination discerns nothing in God: no dependence, no waiting, no exposure, nothing of passion or passibility…and therefore, when these conditions appear in the life of man, they must appear fundamentally ‘ungodlike;’ and therefore again they must appear alien to the proper status of man and unworthy of his unique dignity. (W.H. Vanstone quote from Waiting with Purpose, p. 87)

So when you find yourself in a helpless state, know that you are not alone and that God longs to reach you in your suffering.

Preparing for Mission

When we suffer, we gain wisdom and life experience that cannot be replicated by books or rhetoric. Our experiences, then, shape us fundamentally. They make us stronger, more compassionate, and resilient. Even more, they lead us to mission.

You probably didn’t ask for your sickness or your child’s disability or your spouse’s Alzheimer’s. You didn’t want to lose a friend to addiction or a parent to cancer. Yet all of these atrocities can lead us to accompany others who are suffering similar afflictions. We are more equipped to handle their pain when we have already been through our own journey of grief.

Entering Your Resurrection

I learned something extraordinary while researching my book, Waiting with Purpose: all of the Greek verbs used to describe Jesus’ life and ministry were in the active tense until He was handed over in the Garden of Gethsemane. He spoke to His apostles at the Last Supper, “My work is finished” but immediately before expiring, “It is finished.” These are powerful examples of how working isn’t the be-all-end-all to life’s meaning and value.

Your true work is to suffer with Jesus and learn to suffer well. This doesn’t mean perfectly – just well. That means you will have moments when offering up your pain in solidarity with Jesus’ or someone else’s pain is effortless and other times when it’s impossible. The point is to keep moving forward in your own passion, knowing with confidence that your own Calvary journey will lead you to new life in Resurrection, whether in this life or the next.

This post was adapted from Chapter 6 in my book, Waiting with Purpose: Persevering When God Says “Not Yet.”

Text (c) Jeannie Ewing 2018, all rights reserved. Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

Understanding the Spirituality of Waiting

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I’m willing to bet that everyone reading this hates to wait. We live in a society that lauds “bigger, better, faster,” and we by and large get what we want, when we want it. Thanks to the technological revolution, information is available 24/7. So waiting, whether we overtly or subconsciously admit it, is something of an impediment to staying active and busy.

Yet we can’t ignore the fact that waiting – especially when we don’t choose it – must have a divine purpose for our lives. If God is deliberate and doesn’t waste anything, then he must be speaking to us when we feel stuck, in the middle, or just plain lost. It’s important for us, then, to examine the “why” behind the “what:” how do seasons of waiting strengthen, prune, and purify us?

Look to Scripture.

In the Bible, we have both Old and New Testament examples of long periods of waiting. The most common and popular example would be the Israelites wandering the desert after their exodus from Egypt. Can you imagine spending 40 years of your life without a home, in a desert no less – without vegetation and with much desolation?

What kept the Israelites going those long years? Why didn’t they just turn away and quit the journey? Well, remember that most of them ended up grumbling from time to time – about their divine food (manna), worshiping the molten calf while Moses was conversing with God atop the mountain. But they kept moving forward. Why?

They were given a promise. God guaranteed that he had a place set aside for them, a land “flowing with milk and honey.” This was the Promised Land.

Then you have the example of the Visitation in the New Testament. Mary waited with her cousin, Elizabeth, after she received the news that she would give birth to the Messiah, the Son of God! Both she and Elizabeth prepared, waited, and celebrated together during several months of gestation. Why? Because they were given a promise – the ultimate promise!

Jesus also prayed in the desert for 40 days, during which time he was tempted by Satan. Isn’t that what happens to us, too? When God invites us to wait for his perfect timing, we often succumb to the doubts and discouragement brought on by thoughts from the enemy.

Why do we wait? Because God has promised that he makes good come from all things according to his purpose.

Live by Way of Obscure Faith

St. John of the Cross coined the term “obscure faith.” Essentially it means faith that is not clear, but it is certain. When we wait, we might be tempted to just pass the time doing one of many enticing options – internet gaming, shopping, idle time on social media scrolling and scrolling, running errands, etc. But we have to remember that waiting isn’t wasting. God wants us to use the time he’s given us fruitfully.

If we understand that this undefined time of desolation in the desert of waiting means something deeper, something we can’t fully grasp just yet, we are encouraged to keep believing that God has a plan in the midst of uncertainty and the unknown.

One such encouragement is that desolation leads to a period of consolation, and vice versa. We tend to go through cycles in our spiritual journeys from one to the other and back again. God gives us consolations, or spiritual sweetness, to uplift and strengthen us for the inevitable forthcoming period of desolation – when we can’t see anything and don’t know what’s going on.

Spend your “down” time resting in God.

(The next post will be about resting and the spirituality of waiting.)

This article is an abridged version of Chapter 1 from my book, Waiting with Purpose: Persevering When God Says “Not Yet.”

Text (c) Jeannie Ewing 2018, all rights reserved. Photo by Ben White on Unsplash