Amazing Catechists

Teaching and learning the faith together

How to be Prepared for “Off-Duty” Ministry

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Ministry often happens when we are “off-duty.” For this reason, we should be prepared to respond to any needs that present themselves to us – whether they are in our area of ministry or not.

When we encounter faith-208820_1280young people in crisis, it is helpful to keep a few strategies in mind, since these opportunities to respond to their needs can often catch us off guard. When a particular person is struggling with depression, mental illness, addiction, or any other delicate matter, we should be prepared to receive him or her and their situation.

This list is not meant to be exhaustive, but is reflective of my personal experience in my recovery from addiction and in my ministry to others in a variety of demographics, age groups, and faiths. If you would like to use the “comments” section to add your own experience(s) or if you have other thoughts about ministry, I would love your input!

  1.  It’s not up to you! It is easy to make ourselves responsible for another person’s emotions and recovery process, but it’s important to set boundaries and defer to professionals and parents when needed.
  2. Meet them where they’re at. Never judge a person or place expectations on his or her actions or progress. While it is sometimes necessary to call someone out and encourage
    him or her to follow what is true, this should always be done by invitation, and it should be very apparent that our love and support will be remain regardless of that person’s choices and actions.girls-470679_1280
  3. Use active listening! It is also important to use active listening and other skills to encourage those we are serving to open up. Use validating and affirming language like, “That must have been so hard/painful when ___ happened,” or “You are so courageous for sharing this with me.”
  4. Personal Experience? While sharing our own experience can be helpful, it is important not to compare our particular experiences with theirs, in place of listening. Saying, “It’s like the time I…” or “everyone has something…” may seem to downplay their suffering hands-407388_1280and show that we aren’t paying attention or trying to understand them and their situation. Focus on them!
  5. Less is more. Often silence is golden because it allows others to share more than they were planning to and can reveal what is really underneath. This can help us to provide what is really needed and give them the space to unload and form trusting relationships in a place of woundedness.antique-21803_1280
  6. Remember the Divine Physician! Always be mindful that Christ is the Healer! We should always be leading those we encounter to relationship with Christ and spiritual healing of which we are all in need!

Please add your own experience!

Healing the Wounds of a “Create-Yourself Culture:” Part I – It’s Just a Phase…

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Nela & Boris at Lighthouse Point complex - Collingwood, Ontario (August 2nd, 2008)

How often have we heard these words or spoken them? Especially with older kids and teenagers, we use this phrase to console ourselves when we don’t know how to respond to their new behaviors.

But what if it’s not a phase? How do we know? What if this little misbehavior is the beginning of an addiction? This is not meant to scare you, but to heighten your sensitivity to the signs of the pain that our children/young adults are unable to express in words. I can speak specifically and personally about the wound of eating disorders and how I wished someone had recognized my struggle. However, the varieties of disorders and addictions that plague our culture (regardless of our age, faith, and upbringing) have a very similar root.

What are all young people searching for in our culture? They are looking for belonging and identity. In the backlash of the “you can be whatever you want” spirit of the preceding generation, wishing to be free from all labels or generalizations, this current generation feels lost. We are now living in a “create-yourself” culture where, at a very early age, children are taught to create an identity for themselves and define their worth by their successes and achievements.

This can be overwhelming in a world with so many options and choices along with the expectation that those choices must lead to success. In an attempt to control the changing world around them, many turn to self-destructive behaviors to cope. For those of us that are in contact with these young people as catechists and ministers, it is not enough to tell them what is right and just, we must also meet them where they are in their sufferings and woundedness, as Christ does for each one of us.two young girls laughing behind another girls back

When it is tempting to ignore the fidgeting troublemaker in the back row or tune out the noise of the latest middle school gossip, these might be helpful reminders to address the pain that our young people are carrying and don’t necessarily have the tools to process properly. We are faced now with the effects of decades of poor emotional and social development, and if anyone should be a part of it Christ should!

In the next few posts I hope to present my own experience of healing, as well as some tools to help you and those you serve to begin to see identity in the Heart of Christ rather than in “success” or “image,” which leads undoubtedly to disappointment, discouragement, depression, and despair.

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