recovery Archives - Amazing Catechists

How to be Prepared for “Off-Duty” Ministry

Ministry often happens when we are “off-duty.” For this reason, we should be prepared to respond to any needs that present themselves to us – whether they are in our area of ministry or not.

When we encounter young people in crisis, it is helpful to keep a few strategies in mind, since these opportunities to respond to their needs can often catch us off guard. When a particular person is struggling with depression, mental illness, addiction, or any other delicate matter, we should be prepared to receive him or her and their situation.

This list is not meant to be exhaustive, but is reflective of my personal experience in my recovery from addiction and in my ministry to others in a variety of demographics, age groups, and faiths. If you would like to use the “comments” section to add your own experience(s) or if you have other thoughts about ministry, I would love your input!

It’s not up to you! It is easy to make ourselves responsible for another person’s emotions and recovery process, but it’s important to set boundaries and defer to professionals and parents when needed.
Meet them where they’re at. Never judge a person or place expectations on his or her actions or progress. While it is sometimes necessary to call someone out and encourage
him or her to follow what is true, this should always be done by invitation, and it should be very apparent that our love and support will be remain regardless of that person’s choices and actions.
Use active listening! It is also important to use active listening and other skills to encourage those we are serving to open up. Use validating and affirming language like, “That must have been so hard/painful when ___ happened,” or “You are so courageous for sharing this with me.”
Personal Experience? While sharing our own experience can be helpful, it is important not to compare our particular experiences with theirs, in place of listening. Saying, “It’s like the time I…” or “everyone has something…” may seem to downplay their suffering and show that we aren’t paying attention or trying to understand them and their situation. Focus on them!
Less is more. Often silence is golden because it allows others to share more than they were planning to and can reveal what is really underneath. This can help us to provide what is really needed and give them the space to unload and form trusting relationships in a place of woundedness.
Remember the Divine Physician! Always be mindful that Christ is the Healer! We should always be leading those we encounter to relationship with Christ and spiritual healing of which we are all in need!

Please add your own experience!

Healing the Wounds of a “Create-Yourself Culture:” Part I – It’s Just a Phase…

By Maureen Smith

How often have we heard these words or spoken them? Especially with older kids and teenagers, we use this phrase to console ourselves when we don’t know how to respond to their new behaviors.

But what if it’s not a phase? How do we know? What if this little misbehavior is the beginning of an addiction? This is not meant to scare you, but to heighten your sensitivity to the signs of the pain that our children/young adults are unable to express in words. I can speak specifically and personally about the wound of eating disorders and how I wished someone had recognized my struggle. However, the varieties of disorders and addictions that plague our culture (regardless of our age, faith, and upbringing) have a very similar root.

What are all young people searching for in our culture? They are looking for belonging and identity. In the backlash of the “you can be whatever you want” spirit of the preceding generation, wishing to be free from all labels or generalizations, this current generation feels lost. We are now living in a “create-yourself” culture where, at a very early age, children are taught to create an identity for themselves and define their worth by their successes and achievements.

This can be overwhelming in a world with so many options and choices along with the expectation that those choices must lead to success. In an attempt to control the changing world around them, many turn to self-destructive behaviors to cope. For those of us that are in contact with these young people as catechists and ministers, it is not enough to tell them what is right and just, we must also meet them where they are in their sufferings and woundedness, as Christ does for each one of us.

When it is tempting to ignore the fidgeting troublemaker in the back row or tune out the noise of the latest middle school gossip, these might be helpful reminders to address the pain that our young people are carrying and don’t necessarily have the tools to process properly. We are faced now with the effects of decades of poor emotional and social development, and if anyone should be a part of it Christ should!

In the next few posts I hope to present my own experience of healing, as well as some tools to help you and those you serve to begin to see identity in the Heart of Christ rather than in “success” or “image,” which leads undoubtedly to disappointment, discouragement, depression, and despair.

Venerable Matt Talbot

By Steve McVey

Venerable Matt Talbot

As I was making my way out of Dublin’s Pro-Cathedral, I noticed a small shrine to a man named Matt Talbot. I didn’t pay much attention and moved on. Several weeks later, I attended Mass at my local parish near Castleknock. The Priest stood up to give the homily and began to speak about Matt Talbot. Low and behold it was Matt Talbot Sunday! I decided I better listen. I heard an inspiring story of a humble man who overcame addiction and turned to God completely.

Matt Talbot was born in 1856 in Dublin’s inner city. As his father drank heavily, the family was quite poor. He left school at age 12 and got a job at a local bottling company. By the age of 14, he was already drinking heavily and by 16, an alcoholic.

By age 26, he had stopped attending Mass. From his teen years to his late 20s, his only aim in life was drinking. At one point, he and his brother actually stole a fiddle from a street performer and sold it for the price of a drink.

One day in September 1884, he and his brothers were standing outside a pub, out of money and out of drink. Nobody would offer him anything either. He left the pub and while crossing a bridge, he stopped and came to the realization that he was wasting his life.

That day he went to Holy Cross college to take “the pledge”. While there, he attended confession and indeed vowed to no longer drink. The next morning, he returned to the sacraments. This was the beginning of a remarkable turnaround. He would attend daily Mass for the rest of his life.

The first three months were the hardest. One morning, he was at Mass but could not lift himself to receive communion. He heard a voice saying, “it’s no use”. In desperation, he made his way to the Pro Cathedral and prayed, “Jesus Mercy, Mary Help”. Help indeed came.

Over the coming years, he became focused on his spiritual life. Although he could barely read, he began to study Irish monasticism. He lived a very simple life. His bed was a plank and his pillow was made of wood, similar to the monks who would sleep on the floor with pillows of stone.

He never forgot his struggle though. He once said to his sister, “Never think harshly of a person because of the drink. It is easier to get out of hell then it is to give up the drink.” He then continued, “For me, it was only possible with the help of God and our Blessed Mother”.

Matt’s life had become one of prayer, penance, fasting and acts of charity. Over the years, he repaid all the debts he had incurred at the local pubs. He even searched for the fiddler to repay him for the stolen property. When he could not find him, he offered Masses for the soul of the poor fiddler.

In 1913, he discovered a book called True Devotion to Mary, by St. Louis de Montfort. The recommended chain intended to remind one of his bondage to Christ was not enough. Matt wore a chain that was uncomfortable enough to remind him of Christ’s suffering. When he died on June 7^th, 1925 while walking to Mass, he was found wearing that chain.

On October 3^rd, 1975, Matt Talbot was declared Venerable by Pope Paul VI. Matt is an example that ordinary people can do extraordinary things. He is a witness that we can say “no” to addictive behavior, change our life and return to God. In our world today, that is a message we desperately need.

As Matt would say to others, “if I can do it, so can you, with the grace of God”. And so, we can.

God Bless

Learn more about Matt Talbot at: www.matttalbot.ie

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