At some point, you’ll find yourself heading to Mass…solo…with one or all of your kids in tow! Whether your spouse is sick, at work, out of town, or otherwise unable to attend with you, it’s bound to happen to most parents at some point.
This might sound daunting, especially if you have small children, toddlers, babies, or a mixture of all three. You and your spouse might have it down to a science when the two of you are working together to keep everyone calm and happy – but alone, the task might sound almost impossible.
Here’s the good news: it’s not! Taking your kids to Mass without the support of your spouse or other family members is like any other muscle and just needs to be flexed to get stronger. Ideally, we’re all attending Mass as a family each week. For my family especially, going to Mass as a 5-person unit is a treat, as my husband works most weekends. So, when I find myself solo on a Sunday with three little boys (ages 4, 2.5, and 6 months) in the back seats of the car, I have a few tricks up my sleeve to make sure Mass is as peaceful and prayerful as possible.
Tips for Taking Your Kids to Mass
I’m going to share six ways I keep my kids happy and calm during Mass. Before sharing, though, I’ll be candid in saying it took a lot of tries and routines to get this down to a science! It’s so important to keep taking the kids to Mass, no matter what happens. Your priests are happy they are there with you. As they say, “If a church ain’t cryin, it’s dyin.”
Dedicated Toys for Mass
Any parent is going to know that a Mass bag is essential for taking small people to Mass. We keep a special bag in the car that is ONLY for Mass. This Mass bag has WaterWows, Catholic books, quiet sensory toys, and as it goes with boys, a couple of toy cars. Since these activities are only for use during Mass, they are like treasures to the kids!
This sticker book from Shining Light Dolls is one of our favorites.
Sit Up Front
I know, it may sound crazy, especially if you have toddlers or new walkers who just want to go, go, go, but sitting up front allows the kids to fully partake in the Mass. There are no people in front of them to act as distractions, and they can completely observe the Sacrifice happening before them. During the Consecration, I always tell my kids that Jesus is here, and going up for Communion means it’s time to see Jesus.
This mass book is interactive and shows kids what’s happening, and they can follow along.
Have a plan for after Mass that’s exciting for the kids
Maybe your parish serves donuts after Mass, or there’s a playground nearby, or you want to treat them to a fun lunch. When they have something exciting to look forward to, they can be reminded during the Mass that something exciting is in store.
Get their energy out beforehand
In the pre-child days of our marriage, my husband and I always loved going to the 9 am Mass. However, we quickly learned that our kids don’t tolerate Mass before 11:30 am. When we have tried to take them first thing in the morning, they have too many wiggles to sit in the pew for a full hour. If possible, have them do some big gross motor activities inside the house or play outside, and get a good meal in them. A tired, full kid is a happy kid.
Explain what’s happening during Mass
Kids of all ages can comprehend some part of the Mass. Explaining to them, at their level, what’s going on both captures their attention and helps them understand why we go to Mass. Have them point out statues, the Crucifix, candles, or other recognizable things for you, like a game. Of course, keep your voices to a whisper!
Be flexible!
Going to Mass, solo, with kids, is one of the best gifts you can give your children when the need arises. And, sometimes, we just have to go with the flow of their needs. This might mean spending the whole Mass having snacks in, or walking around, the narthex, taking them outside for 5 minutes, taking potty breaks, changing diapers in the bathroom, leaving the church to nurse a baby…you get the idea. It might even mean a meltdown is so bad that you must leave church a little early (I’ve been there!). And all of that is okay. We want our kids to love and appreciate all that the Mass is. While they’re little, we can be flexible and loving in that pursuit. Just try again next time.
When the day comes that you’re taking your kids to Mass solo, do your best not to balk. It won’t go perfectly, but nothing in life ever does. Getting them to church, no matter how it goes after that, is the most important thing you can do as their parent. With God, you’ve got this!