Amazing Catechists

Teaching and learning the faith together

Happy Halloween for Tweens and Teens

By

PumpkinThe teen years can be tricky around Halloween. Perhaps your students are feeling a little old for trick-or-treating, but a little young for some of the adult themed parties. Giving this time of year a new meaning can help students to celebrate this month, while still enjoying themselves.

1. Have a Saint party. Everyone dresses up as their favorite Saint and learns a little bit about them to share. Play 20 questions to figure out who is representing what Saint.

2. Write letters to someone who has lost a loved one this year. People naturally think of Christmas as a tough time for people who are grieving, but I know from personal experience (my brother died when I was 21 years-old) that Halloween can be even worse. All those images of scary movies, dead people, ghosts and the like can be really disturbing for those who have lost a loved one. This is especially true for those whose loved ones died violently or suddenly. Reaching out to say we care and we are thinking of you can help. A friend stayed all evening with me that first Halloween and I still appreciate it many years later.

3. Encourage students to help with treat-giving at home. Every year my husband and I struggle with who gets to take the little ones trick-or-treating and who stays home to give out candy and protect the house for mischievous makers. Ask your students to consider staying home so parents can take out younger siblings, or volunteering to watch a neighbor’s house so they can take out their children. (Or they could offer to take out younger sibs or younger neighbors so that parents can stay home.)

4. Do the right thing. Talk to students about how defacing property is against God’s commandments. Give them the strength to go against what their peers may be doing (on Halloween night) if it involves hurting someone or their property. Teach them to stand up and say that behavior is not acceptable, even at the risk of getting laughed at.

5. Attend Mass for All Souls Day. Perhaps include all the departed family members and friends of your students in the Mass intentions. Talk to them about praying for the departed, including the poor souls in Purgatory and what the Church teaches on this subject.

6. Discuss the movies that are released this time of year. Investigate with your students whether we should, as Catholics, support movies that glorify murder, mass murder or evil.

7. Have a Happy Halloween!!

(Reprinted from my OSV.com YM column, photo credit to Darya Rosien)

Tools to Help Parents Really Be Their Children’s First Catechist

By

Tools to Help Parents Really Be Their Children's First Catechist

Last week, Archbishop Aquila released a pastoral letter, “Family: Become What You Are.” Aside from an awesome title, this letter is a shot in the arm for those of us in families. (Oh wait, that’s ALL OF US.)

ABA-Family-letter-cover

So your homework this summer, no matter how busy or distracted or disinclined you are, is to read this…twice. Read it once and then read it again, slowly. What’s God saying to you through Archbishop Aquila’s words? Could there be inspiration for you? How can this letter impact your family?

But wait, there’s more. The Archdiocese of Denver has a few supporting resources that are nothing short of rockin’ awesome. Because how else is your family going to become what you are? These are tools to get you there.

Tips You’ll Use Right Away

First, there’s the video, “5 Ways to a Stronger Family.”

[youtube_sc url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXCCg8zocTU”]

Eating and Faith Go Hand-in-Hand

Next, we have a tool that every parent needs: “A Month of Dinnertime Conversations.” Have you ever wondered how you are supposed to instill faith in your children when you don’t know enough yourself? Do you feel intimidated by the immensity of your responsibility? Are you just plain unsure?

Well, this pdf (available in both English and Spanish) has 31 questions for you to bring up at dinner. They’re not hard or imposing or even crazy. The word “brilliant” actually comes to mind.

Some examples:

  • Name your favorite thing about being Catholic.
  • God gives each of us our own Guardian Angel to guide us through life. How do you think your Guardian Angel could help strengthen our family?
  • What is your favorite prayer?

I plan to share these far and wide. I’ve had so many parents make comments to me about how they so appreciate my work as a catechist. I try to remind them (probably too much) that my work is supplemental, supportive, secondary to the work they do. And here’s a tool for them to use that’s easy and effective. Booyah!

Pray the Family Rosary

And finally, a resource that I appreciate so much it brings tears to my eyes: “Family-Friendly Scriptural Meditations on the Rosary” (in both English and Spanish).

Am I the only one who sees the family rosary as this insurmountable hurdle? Oh, I know, I know. I should be praying it with my family.

And now, now, I just might. This four-page pdf (one page for each set of mysteries) includes short meditations for each mystery of the rosary. They’re written with families in mind. And by “families in mind” I mean “people who aren’t necessarily thrilled to be taking time to do this and who maybe don’t have a clue what these mysteries mean.”

The idea is that someone in your family would read this before you pray the prayers of the decade. They’re easy to read and yet thought-provoking for every age.

For example, here’s what’s included for the second Luminous Mystery, the Wedding at Cana:

The second Luminous Mystery is the Wedding Feast of Cana, where Mary teaches us one of the most important lessons in life. She tells the servants at the wedding feast to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. In our lives, are we willing to do whatever Jesus tells us to do? Let’s ask Mary to pray with us that we might have the graces necessary to do whatever Jesus calls us to do in this life, as well as the ability to trust in Mary’s intercession for us, as Jesus answered his mother’s request that day in Cana.

If you get to the point (or are already at the point) where you want to highlight the fruit of the mystery, they’re also included.

Summer Reading You Deserve

I leave you with this excerpt from the Archbishop’s letter:

When a husband and wife give of themselves and share love and truth with each other, they are able to reflect the image of the Holy Trinity. This sharing in life and love is in turn echoed in the hearts of their children and helps bring the Kingdom of God to earth. God created the world and the human race through the gift of his Word and the breath of the Spirit. In a similar way, men and women are able to participate in creation by bringing children into the world through their mutual consent and one flesh union.

Sadly, our society has lost this understanding of marriage. Instead, the culture has dramatically shifted to promoting the individual and his or her supposed rights, often at the expense of the family. The idea of a “sincere gift of self ” – even in the context of marriage – seems irrelevant
and a distant reality. In contemporary Western culture, marriage and the family have suffered the consequences of this shift, and no one has been hurt more by it than children, who deserve the committed, selfless love of their mother and father.

Seriously, go read it and put these resources to work in your family. You won’t be sorry you did.

The One Change you can make Right Now to Dramatically Reduce Stress!

By

I steadied myself and vowed not to let it get to me this time. I walked into the room and felt the tension swell up in my chest, tightening my shoulders and exploding into my head. The culprit; my ten year-old daughter’s room.

“I love you, God bless you and may the angels sing you to sleep…..and if you don’t get this room cleaned up tomorrow, everything will be gone when you get home from school!” I threatened, through my gritted teeth.

Stress can be caused from something as seemingly unimportant (such as my daughter’s messy room) or from significant happenings in our lives. Some of us react to every little thing, while others can handle most things well, until one thing tips us over the edge. Whatever its cause, all of us are effected by stress at some point or another. In fact, 75%-90% of all physician office visits are for stress-related complaints.

In my roles as a social worker, family coach and mom of seven I have seen families in all kinds of stressful situations. As I studied this more carefully, I discovered that people who are able to manage stress have a secret weapon.

The Secret Weapon

John Walsh is a good example of this secret. His son, Adam, was abducted and killed. I can’t imagine a more stressful situation than that. Grief and anger are huge stressors. Many people would have gotten stuck, unable to continue their lives in a positive way. John Walsh made a different choice. He decided to act.

Identify the Need for Change

Studying a stressful situation may provide details and ideas for change.
John Walsh identified the need for a change in the way abductions were reported and tracked. He became responsible for a grass-roots effort to create a national data bank of information. He has since been responsible for catching criminals on his television show, America’s Most Wanted, and for advocating safety programs to provide families with information on how to protect their own children.

In the case of my daughter’s room, well, she needed a new system of organization. I realized that if I was stressed and intimidated by the mess, so was she.
Keeping a small journal of things that cause stress can reveal patterns of the things that trigger a stress response. That may make it easier to spot the need for change.

Act

Once a need has been diagnosed, turning stress from inaction into action is the key. Almost all of us have had the experience of feeling so stressed that we are confused and immobilized. Where do we start? How do we do something, anything…to feel better? The answer; jump in and do something.

I started by ripping apart my daughter’s room and giving it a fresh coat of paint. Once that was done, I went through her clothes and gave things she no longer needed away. I enlisted my husband’s help, and we decided to give her room a theme. My husband created a small stage in the room and hung track lighting as a spotlight. I hung long curtains around the stage and soon we had a beautiful room. Now that it was cleaned, organized and a fun space, our daughter found it much easier to keep her room tidy.

Maintain

We all slip. If I left my daughter’s room alone for to long, it would get overwhelming again quickly. Frequent checks, a little help and a positive attitude helps my daughter and I stay away from a situation that had become stressful for both of us.
This is true for all kinds of stressful situations. It is simple to go back to working too many hours, taking on too many projects, trying to manage our families schedules and problems. It is important to review stressors and management of those problems on a regular basis.

Give Yourself a Break

As a friend of mine once said, “Sometimes, you just have to close the door.” This applies to messy rooms, situations of intense grief or work problems. It is healthy to give ourselves permission to just forget about the stress in our lives for a while. It will still be there when we turn our attention back to it. Taking a fresh look at, after taking a break, may provide new insights to the problems and patterns that caused that stress.
Creating on ongoing plan.

When dealing with stress, it is helpful to look at all aspects of our coping skills. Are we caring for ourselves physically, spiritually, behaviorally and emotionally? Looking at each of these areas and making a plan of action can help dramatically decrease our stress.

The Beatitudes, Marriage, and the Moral Floor

By

When I’m talking with older kids about morality, I try to emphasize the difference between the Commandments and the Beatitudes.

I observed a terrific lesson about this in a class at St. Joseph’s High School in Greenville, SC, several years ago – I just wish I could remember what texts they were using. I think maybe the Dominican Series from Priory Press. Anyway, the teacher explained to the class that the Ten Commandments are the “moral floor” that we have to stay above, while the Beatitudes are like the “moral ceiling” we should try to reach.

That's quite a ceiling

I talk about this in terms of marriage – if I really love my husband, how am I going to nurture our relationship? What does it take to live out my vocation?

Well, to start with, I’m not going to cheat on him, steal from him, lie about him, be jealous of him – lots of “shalt nots” included in the Recommended Daily Allowance for our marriage. But that’s not what makes a good marriage – just the absence of doing bad things to my husband. Same with being a mom – although I certainly have days when “kept children alive” is all that’s crossed off on my checklist. I really show my love through the things I do that go above and beyond not-sinning-against-them. That’s what the Beatitudes are akin to – how we really grow in holiness; how we really cultivate a relationship with God.

I find that kids just “get it” if I keep coming back to this idea. Plus, it gives me the chance to talk realistically about marriage as a vocation, which I think kids need to hear about; so many of them either feel like marriage is BS because they’ve seen so many marriages fall apart, or have this very unrealistic “marriage is for soulmates” idea that real love means never having to suffer because you’re so happy all the time.