Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime: The Best Gift You Can Give Your Kids
by Dr. Ray Guarendi
Published by Sophia Institute Press
I really wish I had heard of Dr. Ray sooner! He is a clinical psychologist, prolific speaker with his own radio and television show in EWTN, and father of 10. He gives the most practical, useful, and effective parenting advice I have ever heard. If you need some tips and hacks to help create order in the home and build better relationships with your kids, you need to pick up Dr. Ray’s new book: Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime.
The Format of This Book
I always enjoy Dr. Ray’s books. They are laid out in a logical manner, and he is an excellent (and entertaining!) writer and teacher. This book is a collection of the many FAQs that parents have asked him about disciplining their kids. This book includes 10 chapters that are jam packed with the best Catholic parenting around. After raising his own kids and helping countless families, Dr. Ray knows what he is talking about.
Each chapter includes 5-8 short questions from parents and the answers from Dr. Ray. I appreciated that I could read this book a little bit at a time. Sometimes, I would just read 1 question and answer when I had a few minutes throughout the day here and there.
Topics Covered in This Book
I truly believe that every possible topic related to discipline is included in this book. Some topics include:
- How to stop yelling
- How to employ timeouts effectively
- Other effective punishments (such as writing essays, grounding, and Blackouts…see below)
- Misconceptions about parenting and discipline
- Advice about disciplining toddlers
- Potty training woes
- Advice about disciplining teens
- Dealing with kids talking back
- Bickering among siblings
- How consistent we should be with disciplining (it’s less often than you think!)
This is only the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more helpful and practical guidance in this book than these 10 topics above. The only thing that I wish would’ve been included in this book is a glossary to help you find a specific topic that you are looking for. I recommend reading the book cover to cover and marking the most important topics for your family.
The Blackout
The most interesting advice that I learned from Dr. Ray is how to employ what he calls “Blackouts.” Basically, if a child misbehaves, they are given a consequence such as timeout, grounding, more chores, etc. If they do not accept and complete the punishment right away, the parent can employ a Blackout. During a Blackout, a child loses access to priveldges. Anything that is not a basic need (food, water, clothing, shelter, and love) is taken away until the child has completed his or her punishment. This could mean no dessert, no going to the playground, confiscating a favorite toy, no electronics, no car, no visiting friends, etc. So, instead of entering into a power struggle over discipline, the idea is to calmly and consistently employ the blackouts as needed.
Who Would Enjoy This Book
Moms and dads alike would enjoy and find value in this book. This would be a great baby shower gift for new parents, or even a Mother’s Day or Father’s Day gift. It covers disciplining ages toddler to teen so there is really something for parents in all stages of raising children.
Have you heard of Dr. Ray? Do you have any parenting tips?
You can find Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime at Sophia Institute Press.
Read more about Dr. Ray’s books here.
