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Can Graduality Lead to Injustice?

By Mary Lou Rosien

I love the concept of graduality. As a Catechist, it appeals to me to meet people where they are in the journey and help them move towards full communion with the teachings of the Catholic Church. A pastoral approach can encourage and help form the consciences of those we encounter.

We see this play out with our PreCana couples. Many couples these days cohabit prior to marriage. With guidance, love and proper catechesis, they move towards a better understanding of the sacrament of matrimony. The hope is that they will amend their situation prior to marriage and enter into the sacrament with not only a clearer vision, but an openness in embracing the Catholic teaching about all the sacraments which will help them secure a valid union. If they are only told their situation is unacceptable, we may alienate them rather than using the opportunity to help them grow in faith.

This idea of the “Law of Gradualism” can be misused if we view it separate from the clear teachings of the Church. “The pastoral “law of gradualness”, not to be confused with the “gradualness of the law” which would tend to diminish the demands it places on us, consists of requiring a decisive break with sin together with a progressive path towards total union with the will of God and with his loving demands.” [Vademecum for Confessors 3:9].
This means that there must be not just a future intent to break from sin (eventually), but a true conversion by movement away from sin.

With this in mind, there is a concern with the way we approach bringing someone along in Faith if they are in a situation opposed to Catholic teaching. We need to first educate a person in what the Church teaches and then see some evidence of conversion, before we allow them to fully participate in Catholic life. If this is not carried out consistently we create an environment of inequality for those in our parishes.

If a person enters the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) program, but is currently in an irregular marriage, they are not permitted to become Catholic until their situation is resolved. This can take from months to years, depending on the circumstances. This individual is encouraged to look at this time as a time of sacrifice, preparation and increased desire of the sacraments (much like a bride looks forward to her wedding day). However, if we allow a couple living together without the benefit of marriage (and no plans to marry) to enter full communion with the Church, because we are trying to ‘meet them where they are’ are we creating an unequal and unjust situation? Are not both people living outside the teachings of the Church? What about a person actively supporting abortion or promoting homosexual marriage or any other lifestyle that goes against Church teaching? These are grave sins, but do the people in the pews understand that? Should they not show evidence of true conversion on these issues before full participation (Baptism, Eucharist and Confirmation) in the Church?

We should always meet people where they are, much like Christ met the woman at the well (who had been married five time and was living with a man who was not her husband), but then we should show them the “living water” (Jesus Christ) and invite them to walk with us toward him.

For more information of graduality

For more information on Divorced Catholics

The Three Things Divorced Catholics Need to Know
By Mary Lou Rosien

(C) 2017

Read all posts by Mary Lou Rosien Filed Under: Culture, Featured, General, RCIA & Adult Education Tagged With: divorce, full participation, gradualism, Graduality, injustice, justice, RCIA, sacraments

Top 8 Online Resources for Divorced Catholics

By Karee Santos

In light of the upcoming World Meeting of Families and the Synod on the Family in Rome, the Catholic Church’s teaching on divorce is taking center stage. Pope Francis has urged greater compassion and outreach towards those who have undergone divorce. Here are eight terrific online resources to help.

broken heart divorce pic

1. The USCCB web site

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops devotes several pages of its site to the topics of divorce and annulment. The Divorce FAQs and Annulment FAQs list several additional print and DVD resources, and also link to current blogposts on the subjects.

2. The Catholic’s Divorce Survival Guide

One of the resources highlighted on the USCCB site is The Catholic’s Divorce Survival Guide, a 12 DVD series with guide either for personal use or as a parish program. The series features Catholic authors Rose Sweet, Dr. Ray Guarendi, Christopher West, and Fr. Mitch Pacwa. The accompanying website offers helpful answers to common questions about anger, hurt, and healing. It also includes advice on helping kids through divorce, learning how to forgive, and even the best movies for cinema therapy.

3. Lisa Duffy on Catholic Match Institute

Lisa Duffy has nearly 600 posts on Catholic Match Institute, the blog of the CatholicMatch.com online dating service. Many of those posts focus on bringing healing to those who are separated or divorced. Lisa has been working in Catholic divorce ministry for decades. Her Journey of Hope program is now being used in more than 50 parishes in the United States and several parishes in Canada as well. She is a co-author of the 2007 book Divorced. Catholic. Now What? and the author of the 2015 book The Catholic Guide to Dating after Divorce. Her personal website includes podcasts and free downloads, and a special page for readers to send in their prayer requests.

4. Divorcedcatholic.com

Vince Frese, who co-authored Divorced. Catholic. Now What? with Lisa Duffy, has a helpful website called divorcedcatholic.com. Through the website, people can order home study kits, sign up for online programs and subscribe to daily inspirational emails.

5. Catholic Divorce Ministry

The Catholic Divorce Ministry has been active since 1974. The organization “works with family-life ministries in various dioceses to help parishes reach people in the pews with workshops, programs and retreats,” according to an article in the National Catholic Register.  The site has resources for catechists and leaders of peer ministries for the divorced and separated. One of its most useful features is a listing of dates and times for many different upcoming events available throughout the country.

6. DivorcedCatholicMoms.com

This site is a blog started by two women, Carina and Manya. Their blogposts cover important issues like sharing the holidays, taking children’s wishes into account when splitting up household items, and seeking spiritual support through mental prayer, novenas, and the intercession of the saints.

7. Mary’s Advocates

The website of Mary’s Advocates contains a detailed critique of the current annulment system, based on an exhaustive analysis of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and canon law. The organization’s founder, Bai Macfarlane, will be speaking at a Human Life International symposium in Rome, and her written presentation will be distributed to the bishop delegates at the October Synod on the Family. The organization’s book, The Gift of Self, is meant to provide spiritual support for separated or divorced spouses who intend to stay faithful to their marriages.

8. Single Mom Smiling

Strahlen Smith, a single mom of five boys, blogs about renewing her life and her faith after her divorce and annulment. Her personal take on the lessons God has taught her through this painful process is deeply inspiring, especially for anyone in similar circumstances.

If you are aware of any additional resources, please let us know in the comments below!

Copyr. 2015 Karee Santos

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Read all posts by Karee Santos Filed Under: Evangelization, General Tagged With: annulment, Catholic marriage, divorce, divorce ministry, single mother

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