addiction Archives - Amazing Catechists

Our Cornerstones

If we remember anything from Mass today, it is probably the Gospel, as today is commonly known as “Good Shepherd Sunday.” We probably heard homilies on this passage from John where Jesus calls Himself the Good Shepherd who “lays down his life for his sheep.”

As I sat at Mass this morning, it would have been easy for me to pass over the other readings and focus on the Gospel, but the homily I heard tied in the concept of rejection from the first reading from the Acts of the Apostles, which references the Psalm for the day. Jesus is the “stone rejected by the builders” that has become the “cornerstone.” The Passion of our Lord which we recently celebrated was His greatest rejection, and His becoming the “cornerstone” is what we celebrate this whole season of Easter.

How often are we rejected? In each chapter of our lives we face some sort of rejection. We experience rejections among our friends and family, school, work, and in so many places. Many of our fears come from these experiences, whether we are mindful of them or not.

The very fact that Jesus was rejected – and that His exultation came, not just despite but, because of His acceptance and endurance of His rejection – gives us great hope. We come to believe that it is through our experiences of rejection that we learn to belong to God rather than anything else where we might experience rejection.

But often it is not other people that reject us, it is ourselves that do the rejecting. We can find it hard to accept ourselves the way we are, with our wounds, our imperfections, our current circumstances. We fail to let this Good Shepherd lay down His life for us because we are so afraid of rejection. We deny ourselves the possibility of being raised up with Jesus as the cornerstone with those shameful parts of us we are rejecting in ourselves.

The Lord put on my heart today that it is these very places that we reject that He comes to redeem, glorify, and make the cornerstones in our lives. If we have the courage not to reject ourselves, we can then embrace the Love of the Good Shepherd without reservation. He does not say that He has come to lay down His life for His sheep, except those with this problem or that problem. No! He travels every corner of the world to bring each soul to His Heart that loves us too much to reject us as we often reject ourselves.

What are those “stones” that we reject in ourselves? How does God want to redeem them and exalt them as cornerstones?

I pray that all of us reflect on this profound truth, that Christ who has come to save us and bring us into His Flock has a Heart so tender and loving that will never reject those who come to Him.

How to be Prepared for “Off-Duty” Ministry

By Maureen Smith

Ministry often happens when we are “off-duty.” For this reason, we should be prepared to respond to any needs that present themselves to us – whether they are in our area of ministry or not.

When we encounter young people in crisis, it is helpful to keep a few strategies in mind, since these opportunities to respond to their needs can often catch us off guard. When a particular person is struggling with depression, mental illness, addiction, or any other delicate matter, we should be prepared to receive him or her and their situation.

This list is not meant to be exhaustive, but is reflective of my personal experience in my recovery from addiction and in my ministry to others in a variety of demographics, age groups, and faiths. If you would like to use the “comments” section to add your own experience(s) or if you have other thoughts about ministry, I would love your input!

It’s not up to you! It is easy to make ourselves responsible for another person’s emotions and recovery process, but it’s important to set boundaries and defer to professionals and parents when needed.
Meet them where they’re at. Never judge a person or place expectations on his or her actions or progress. While it is sometimes necessary to call someone out and encourage
him or her to follow what is true, this should always be done by invitation, and it should be very apparent that our love and support will be remain regardless of that person’s choices and actions.
Use active listening! It is also important to use active listening and other skills to encourage those we are serving to open up. Use validating and affirming language like, “That must have been so hard/painful when ___ happened,” or “You are so courageous for sharing this with me.”
Personal Experience? While sharing our own experience can be helpful, it is important not to compare our particular experiences with theirs, in place of listening. Saying, “It’s like the time I…” or “everyone has something…” may seem to downplay their suffering and show that we aren’t paying attention or trying to understand them and their situation. Focus on them!
Less is more. Often silence is golden because it allows others to share more than they were planning to and can reveal what is really underneath. This can help us to provide what is really needed and give them the space to unload and form trusting relationships in a place of woundedness.
Remember the Divine Physician! Always be mindful that Christ is the Healer! We should always be leading those we encounter to relationship with Christ and spiritual healing of which we are all in need!

Please add your own experience!

Healing the Wounds of a “Create-Yourself” Culture: Part III- Outreach

By Maureen Smith

Once we are ready to reach out to those suffering from addiction, abuse, or any other pain, and we have discerned that the Lord is calling this ministry, it is good to take inventory.

Each community has a different demographic with different resources available, so it is always helpful to do a bit of research. For example, if you notice a need to help adolescent girls struggling with body image – take a look at what is already offered. Are there workshops, educational resources, therapists, dieticians, or other organizations and providers that can help? Are there professionals and volunteers that can join your initiative if you are starting something yourself?

Another tip, especially for adolescents and teens, is finding positive influences to counter the negative messages they are constantly receiving. I have heard of modesty fashion shows, group exercise classes followed by body image talks, cooking classes, fun runs, and other group activities aimed at building self-esteem and promoting self-care, in addition to providing the spiritual component which is the most essential piece. The key is to find a strategy to replace what is destructive e.g. media, magazines, clothes, and replace those negative influences with believable, relevant, and genuinely positive influences that will speak to the age group and culture.

Most importantly, your role as a catechist, youth minister, parent, etc. is to love them where they are wounded- to be Christ to them. Just as Christ has come to us and revealed His love for us, we are now called to share this Good News. The challenge, as I am sure all of you know, is to “re-propose” these truths of the Gospel in ways they can hear it, amidst the ear buds, “beats,” and bluetooths.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but this culture- more than anything else- needs to hear that they are loved, that they are loved with the “flaws” they may see in themselves, and even despite the flaws other people see in them. Underneath the make-up, clothing (or lack-thereof), dyed hair, piercings, tattoos, and bad attitudes is a wounded and lonely heart. Underneath the quiet, seemingly perfect kids who “have it all together” is a heart trembling from uncertainty and potential failure. Every person in this world craves love, and as “missionary disciples,” to quote a Pope Francis-ism, we are called to offer that love we have first received.

Being who you are, comfortable with how God made you, and living with a spirit of joy and gratitude is the best gift you can give. The Lord fills a heart prepared to receive Him, transforms it, and makes it a Tabernacle to whom those who need the Lord can find a home. I pray that the light of Christ which dwells in your hearts becomes a source of grace for all of those you encounter.

Healing the Wounds of a “Create-Yourself Culture:” Part I – It’s Just a Phase…

By Maureen Smith

How often have we heard these words or spoken them? Especially with older kids and teenagers, we use this phrase to console ourselves when we don’t know how to respond to their new behaviors.

But what if it’s not a phase? How do we know? What if this little misbehavior is the beginning of an addiction? This is not meant to scare you, but to heighten your sensitivity to the signs of the pain that our children/young adults are unable to express in words. I can speak specifically and personally about the wound of eating disorders and how I wished someone had recognized my struggle. However, the varieties of disorders and addictions that plague our culture (regardless of our age, faith, and upbringing) have a very similar root.

What are all young people searching for in our culture? They are looking for belonging and identity. In the backlash of the “you can be whatever you want” spirit of the preceding generation, wishing to be free from all labels or generalizations, this current generation feels lost. We are now living in a “create-yourself” culture where, at a very early age, children are taught to create an identity for themselves and define their worth by their successes and achievements.

This can be overwhelming in a world with so many options and choices along with the expectation that those choices must lead to success. In an attempt to control the changing world around them, many turn to self-destructive behaviors to cope. For those of us that are in contact with these young people as catechists and ministers, it is not enough to tell them what is right and just, we must also meet them where they are in their sufferings and woundedness, as Christ does for each one of us.

When it is tempting to ignore the fidgeting troublemaker in the back row or tune out the noise of the latest middle school gossip, these might be helpful reminders to address the pain that our young people are carrying and don’t necessarily have the tools to process properly. We are faced now with the effects of decades of poor emotional and social development, and if anyone should be a part of it Christ should!

In the next few posts I hope to present my own experience of healing, as well as some tools to help you and those you serve to begin to see identity in the Heart of Christ rather than in “success” or “image,” which leads undoubtedly to disappointment, discouragement, depression, and despair.

Venerable Matt Talbot

By Steve McVey

Venerable Matt Talbot

As I was making my way out of Dublin’s Pro-Cathedral, I noticed a small shrine to a man named Matt Talbot. I didn’t pay much attention and moved on. Several weeks later, I attended Mass at my local parish near Castleknock. The Priest stood up to give the homily and began to speak about Matt Talbot. Low and behold it was Matt Talbot Sunday! I decided I better listen. I heard an inspiring story of a humble man who overcame addiction and turned to God completely.

Matt Talbot was born in 1856 in Dublin’s inner city. As his father drank heavily, the family was quite poor. He left school at age 12 and got a job at a local bottling company. By the age of 14, he was already drinking heavily and by 16, an alcoholic.

By age 26, he had stopped attending Mass. From his teen years to his late 20s, his only aim in life was drinking. At one point, he and his brother actually stole a fiddle from a street performer and sold it for the price of a drink.

One day in September 1884, he and his brothers were standing outside a pub, out of money and out of drink. Nobody would offer him anything either. He left the pub and while crossing a bridge, he stopped and came to the realization that he was wasting his life.

That day he went to Holy Cross college to take “the pledge”. While there, he attended confession and indeed vowed to no longer drink. The next morning, he returned to the sacraments. This was the beginning of a remarkable turnaround. He would attend daily Mass for the rest of his life.

The first three months were the hardest. One morning, he was at Mass but could not lift himself to receive communion. He heard a voice saying, “it’s no use”. In desperation, he made his way to the Pro Cathedral and prayed, “Jesus Mercy, Mary Help”. Help indeed came.

Over the coming years, he became focused on his spiritual life. Although he could barely read, he began to study Irish monasticism. He lived a very simple life. His bed was a plank and his pillow was made of wood, similar to the monks who would sleep on the floor with pillows of stone.

He never forgot his struggle though. He once said to his sister, “Never think harshly of a person because of the drink. It is easier to get out of hell then it is to give up the drink.” He then continued, “For me, it was only possible with the help of God and our Blessed Mother”.

Matt’s life had become one of prayer, penance, fasting and acts of charity. Over the years, he repaid all the debts he had incurred at the local pubs. He even searched for the fiddler to repay him for the stolen property. When he could not find him, he offered Masses for the soul of the poor fiddler.

In 1913, he discovered a book called True Devotion to Mary, by St. Louis de Montfort. The recommended chain intended to remind one of his bondage to Christ was not enough. Matt wore a chain that was uncomfortable enough to remind him of Christ’s suffering. When he died on June 7^th, 1925 while walking to Mass, he was found wearing that chain.

On October 3^rd, 1975, Matt Talbot was declared Venerable by Pope Paul VI. Matt is an example that ordinary people can do extraordinary things. He is a witness that we can say “no” to addictive behavior, change our life and return to God. In our world today, that is a message we desperately need.

As Matt would say to others, “if I can do it, so can you, with the grace of God”. And so, we can.

God Bless

Learn more about Matt Talbot at: www.matttalbot.ie

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