NFP/Chastity Archives - Page 2 of 5

Let’s Talk about Sex, Baby!

Lately, I have struggled with society’s misunderstanding of a sexual union. My husband and I give the sex talk in pre-Cana. We explain the Church’s teaching on the unitive and procreative nature of the sexual union and why it is a holy, blessed union between a husband and wife. I struggle with the misuse of this union that I witness daily.

One example, is the couple that has replaced food for intimacy. They rarely experience true sexual intimacy and have gotten into the habit of replacing it with activities that revolve around eating.

No less confused, is the physically fit couple who treat the gloriously beautiful sexual relationship as another activity to be checked off their list and plugged into their calorie counters.

Then, there are the couples who exude sexuality and do not understand that marriage is not an excuse for lust. They want everyone to know just how much they desire each other rather than protecting the privacy of their union.

Lastly, there are those couples who have given up on the intimate part of their marriage altogether. Perhaps they fell out of the habit, or didn’t make the time to nurture that part of their relationship.

When we lose sight of the importance of our married, sexual intimacy, we diminish the sacrament of marriage itself. God gave us the gift of our sexuality so that we can feel united to our spouse, heal hurts between the husband and wife, and so that the two can become one. He also provide us with the sexual union as a means to bring forth life and cooperate with the grace of God’s creation! What an extraordinary gift!!

When we understand the beauty of what has been entrusted to us, we will see our marriages in a new and luminous light. The intimate parts of our marriage need to be protected, nurtured, and appreciated as the precious gifts they are.

Catholic Marriage Support Blog Celebrates First Year

By Karee Santos

On December 2, 2012, I started the Can We Cana? blog on a wing and a prayer, hoping to provide support for Catholic marriages and families. Thanks to you wonderful readers, the blog reached its 1000th pageview in less than two months. By its one-year anniversary, the blog has attracted more than 30,000 pageviews from readers in all 50 states and in countries around the globe.

Blogpost topics have included everything from sexuality and the Theology of the Body to staying married through sickness and health, unexpected pregnancies, first-year disillusionment, and the pressures of raising a big family. There are parenting tips, household tips, and reviews of awesome Catholic family resources. I’ve even included discussions of difficult issues like marital abandonment, abortion, annulment, virginity, and rape. Thanks to the support of some amazing on-line friends I’ve made, Can We Cana? posts have also appeared on CatholicMom.com, CatholicLane.com, AmazingCatechists.com, MercatorNet.com (Australia), and MyYearofFaith.com.

Here’s a run-down of the posts you liked the best, and a request — tell me what else you’d most like to read about here!

*******

Many blessings on all of you for helping this Catholic marriage support community grow. If there are any topics you’d like to hear more about, please let me know in the comments!

The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning – Giveaway this Weekend

By Jennifer Fitz

Quick book note for you, if you are looking for help with articulating the Church’s teaching on openness to life and responsible parenthood: Take a look at the Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning. It is absolutely my new go-to book for marriage-prep.

What it’s not: A book about how to practice NFP, nor a tour of the catechism and the going thinking in Theology of the Body.

What it is: An insightful and at times hilarious look at how marriage works, and how NFP fits into that, even when it doesn’t seem to fit. Sarah Reinhard reviews it here, and I add a few comments about how unlikely it was I’d even read the book here.

I post additional thoughts at my place, where I’m hosting a giveaway this weekend, Nov 1 – Nov 4th, if you’d like a shot at winning a copy. If you prefer to enter here at Amazing Catechists, you may do so in this combox, just leave your name and a comment. Be sure to put an e-mail address in the indicated field (it is only visible to the site administrators), so that I can contact you if you win. Drawing will be, approximately, Tuesday the 5th.

Update: Congratulations to our winner, Angela! Thanks to everyone for playing. The rest of y’all go buy a copy!

“How Far Can We Go? A Catholic Guide to Sex and Dating,” by Brett Salkeld and Leah Perrault

By Jennifer Fitz

I tend to be rules-based thinker. I am an accountant by training, the kind of person who can read an IRS form and say, “Oh, this makes perfect sense!” So when I think about chastity, simple, practical rules appeal to me. Don’t hold hands unless _______. No kiss until _________. Follow the method and it’ll all work out.

Which would be a great system, if only chastity were an accounting method.

How Far Can We Go? A Catholic Guide to Sex and Dating by Leah Perrault and Brett Salkeld is the answer to a thorny question: How do I teach my children to discern the right way to live chastely? I need my kids to develop a mature faith, not just follow a set of simplistic dictates about whether it’s okay to to hold hands 2.3 years into the courtship. But that doesn’t mean we devolve into saying, “Whatever you decide is fine.” Some choices about displays of affection most definitely are not fine.

To ground those decisions, the book includes a primer on the basics of chastity: What is it, and why does the Church teach it? Typical questions, such as, “Can I use birth control pills to treat a medical condition?” are answered with a mind for both theological accuracy and common sense. A whole chapter is devoted to, “What do I do if I’ve already gone too far?” The answer: It’s never too late to start living chastely, and the Church offers us the sacrament of reconciliation to get us started on our renewed life of grace.

For all these basics, I found the friendly, readable, and compact format to be very handy. It’s Theology of the Body, sex-topics version, in a palatable package you can realistically give to a busy parent, parents can give to teens, and harried catechists can use to catch up on the essentials without having to wade through piles of academic literature.

But what’s most radically different about the book is the answer to the “How Far Can We Go?” question. The reader learns how to draw hard lines at essential points: Anything that’s going to lead us into sin is a no-go, and that may mean backing off of what we thought was an acceptable practice. But the reader also learns how to choose an appropriate display of affection that accurately reflects the reality of the couple’s relationship. Couples learn to talk through differences in expectations – perhaps one comes from a very outwardly-affectionate family, and the other tends to be very reserved – and how to use good communication to clarify the meaning of our actions.

What age for this book?

Mature teens and up. This is a resource catechists can recommend to parents of teens, for both the parent and teen to read and discuss together. Young adult groups (18 and up) would find it a good book study choice. The style is readable, and the content suitable for someone with no background in Church teaching on sexuality, but the authors never speak down to the reader. The assumption is that you’re an intelligent person who wants to do the right thing, and you’re interested in learning some approaches for making the right thing happen.

Theology of the Body for Everybody

Also worth a look: A second book by Leah Perrault, Theology of the Body for Everbody, is not a book about Catholic Sex Ed. It’s a great book though — in fact it’s my #2 go-to book as a primer on evangelization and discipleship. My review of that title is at NewEvangelizers.com. (#1 is Sherry Weddell’s Forming Intentional Disciples, of course.)

–> For a second opinion on How Far Can We Go?, here is the book review at Darwin Catholic that originally called my attention to this work.

Intimate Preparations

By Ellen Gable Hrkach

“And so I take (my wife) not for any lustful motive, but I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to…bring us to old age together.” Tobit 8:7

“..Now, gird up your loins and arise...” Jer: 1:17

Which scripture verse more accurately describes how a couple should prepare for the conjugal embrace? Praying for a singleness of heart, without lustful motive…or girding up one’s loins for “war”?

Yet many couples prepare for intimacy by “girding up their loins:” wearing condoms, inserting diaphragms, taking a pill, putting on a patch, having an IUD inserted, undergoing an operation. It seems to me that these couples are preparing more for “war” than for the marital embrace, “protecting” themselves against unwanted pregnancy, “protecting” themselves against their spouse’s fertility.

Compare that to the couples who do not use contraceptives. They are generous in opening their marriage to children, and when necessary, they use Natural Family Planning and abstain in the fertile time. They’re not girding up their loins; they’re not “protecting” each other from an unwanted pregnancy. When they give of themselves in the marital act, it is a total gift, not a partial one.

The question is: How do you prepare for intimacy?

Some might answer, “We watch porn.” Others may say, “I make sure my diaphragm is in place,” or “We keep a packet of condoms by the bed.”

And yet…are these really appropriate ways for a couple to prepare for the most intimate act between husband and wife?

Obviously not.

So how can a couple prepare? Here is a short list of helpful ways:

1. Pray Together
Marital prayer is an ideal way to prepare for intimacy. When marital prayer is frequent, praying before relations becomes a logical extension. The conjugal embrace is itself a prayer. Let’s review what makes this act so holy and meaningful. In the marital embrace, with their bodies, husband and wife renew their wedding vows. Becoming one with our beloved spouse is the ultimate spiritual, physical and emotional experience. We become one flesh…so much so that sometimes, nine months later, we must give the representation of that oneness a name.

2. Throw Away the Contraception
No, I’m not asking couples to have as many children as possible. But what I am saying is that for the conjugal embrace to be honest and life-giving, it must be free, total, faithful and fruitful. Natural Family Planning allows a couple to love each other as God loves: freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully. NFP couples chart the wife’s fertility signs and, if avoiding pregnancy, abstain in the fertile time. They are not using devices; they are giving themselves fully and they are open to children with each and every act of marital relations. See my previous post on the Theology of the Body in a Nutshell. For more information on NFP, check out my previous post entitled “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about NFP.”

3. Healthy Relationship
I know a few couples who fight constantly. These same couples brag that they have a great sex life. Well, they may have a lot of “good feelings” but when a couple is not getting along in their day-to-day life, sex, even ‘good’ sex, is not going to fix that. What about the husband who treats his wife in a condescending, critical manner, then expects her to be ready and willing to engage in the marital embrace…or a wife who constantly nags her husband, then wants him to be affectionate to her? Communicate with one another; treat each other with kindness, respect and love.

4. No Pornography
Some secular marriage counselors recommend that a couple use porn to “spice up their sex life.” Instead of “enhancing” a marital sex life, viewing sexually explicit videos has the potential of destroying a marriage. Blessed John Paul II said: “…the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.” Porn trains people to be selfish about their sexuality, not selfless. It teaches them to think about sex as something they take, not something they give. Any behavior that causes a person to be self-centered or selfish is never good for marriage. And…pornography can be highly addictive. Mary Anne Layden, co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of PA’s Center for Cognitive Therapy, called porn the “most concerning thing to psychological health that I know of existing today….pornography addicts have a more difficult time recovering from their addiction than cocaine addicts, since coke users can get the drug out of their system, but pornographic images stay in the brain forever.”

5. Single Candle Light
I enjoy romantic, candlelit dinners with my husband. Well, why not a candlelit conjugal embrace? In the 15th century, it was common for painters to place one solitary lit candle in their paintings to symbolize the presence of Christ. If you have small children or might fall asleep too quickly afterwards, perhaps you can use an electric candle/light…or set an alarm…but be prudent. A simple, solitary light can bring more symbolism to your intimacy. And…it can help put you both in the “mood.”

6. Focus on Your Spouse
“Intense love does not measure; it just gives.” This quote from Blessed Mother Teresa is an ideal quote for marriage. Marriage isn’t all about “me.” It’s about “us.” What are your spouse’s needs? Think of his/her needs in all facets of your relationship. Intimate ‘memos’ bring a couple closer. Notes in your spouse’s lunch, special messages left on his workbench or on her desk, daily texts are all ways to intimately connect during the day and let your spouse know you are thinking of him/her. The important thing is to focus on the other in all things and when it comes time for the marital embrace, this selflessness will follow naturally.

7. We Can Work It Out
When you consider all the day-to-day challenges like children, work, fatigue, family bed, stress and sickness, it’s often a miracle that a couple has the time to engage in marital intimacy at all. The spontaneity of early marriage eventually gives way to planning for intimacy. “Family bed?” Consider another location for the marital embrace. Mom too tired? Perhaps Dad can take the kids out to the park while Mom gets a well-deserved rest after dinner. Dad too stressed? Mom can have a hot relaxing bath waiting for Dad when he arrives home.

Do you want to prepare for the holiest, most satisfying intimate experience possible? Treat your spouse with respect, pray together, focus on your spouse, don’t use porn and be creative in finding time for intimacy.

To celebrate St.Valentine’s Day, I’ve made the Kindle edition of my book, Come My Beloved: Inspiring Stories of Catholic Courtship FREE on Kindle (Feb. 12-16). To download your copy, click here.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Teaching Chastity? Visit FamilyHonor.org

By Jennifer Fitz

Are you tasked with teaching chastity, Theology of the Body, or Catholic sex-ed, and you aren’t sure exactly how to do it? Consider taking a continuing education course with Family Honor. This is a college-level course, and can be taken for either graduate or undergraduate credit; tuition is discounted if you are not taking it for degree credit. Topics covered include:

History of Sex Education

Introduction to the Theology of the Body

Male/Female Complementarity

Godly and Godless Expressions of Sexuality

Natural Consequences of Misunderstanding/Misuse of Sexual Powers

The Family – Putting It in Perspective

Evangelizing on Sexuality, Love and Family

The 2013 Summer semester course begins April 29th; registration closes April 12th. You can download the complete syllabus in the sidebar of the course overview. While the bulk of the course can be completed online, there is one in-person weekend at the end of the course (August 16th and 17th), that does require travel to Columbia, SC.

This week I spoke with Brenda Cerkez, executive director of Family Honor, who emphasized that the staff at Family Honor are equipped to provide individual guidance, including helping prospective students, catechists, and parents determine whether the online course is an appropriate fit, and to help the student find tuition assistance if necessary.

For those wanting a less-intensive introduction to chastity education, she recommended phoning the Family Honor office, because staff will help the caller choose the right materials based on their budget, academic background, and personal needs.

Trying to develop a Chastity Education Program in your parish or Diocese?

Family Honor has affiliates in eight states, and has honed its process for getting new affiliates established. It is possible to train an entire team of parish or diocesan presenters at once, or to begin with just two presenters (one male, one female) and expand the program slowly. In either case, Family Honor keeps travel costs to an absolute minimum. It is necessary to have both male and female presenters because students and parents are grouped by gender for sessions that touch on fertility appreciation. While stipends are not luxurious, presenters, including interns, do receive compensation for their work, as well as reimbursement for childcare expenses.

For more information contact:

Family Honor, Inc.
2927 Devine Street, Suite 130
Columbia SC 29205

Phone: (803) 929-0858
Fax: (803) 771-2379

Email Address: famhonor@aol.com

Facing Infertility – The Catholic Approach

By Ellen Gable Hrkach

Facing Infertility – The Catholic Approach
by Jean Dimech-Juchniewicz (Book Review)
(Published by Pauline Books and Media)

When I received a review copy of the newly-published book, Facing Infertility – A Catholic Approach, I was a bit surprised there wasn’t already a Catholic book which specifically dealt with the topic of infertility. When I searched online, I could only find secular or Christian books on this subject.

Jean Dimech-Juchniewicz’s new book is an ideal resource for Catholic couples who want more information on increasing their chances of conceiving. At the same time, she explains why certain fertility procedures are morally wrong.

Because of a variety of factors, infertility has become increasingly common in our culture. Fortunately, with advances in modern technology, more infertile couples are able to conceive children. However, not all of these modern techniques are morally acceptable. For example, selective abortion and destroying embryos that are not implanted are procedures that are obviously wrong. But many Catholics don’t realize that in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination and other modern techniques are considered offenses against our faith (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2376, 2377) and considered mortal sins.

Dimech-Juchniewicz shares her personal infertility experience as well as the various things she learned in the process. She also includes short testimonies from infertile couples. Chapters touch on topics such as Expecting Fruitfulness, Working Through Denial, Understanding Your Options, Discerning Treatment, Handling Anger, Coping With Sadness, Considering Adoption, Following God in the Midst of Suffering and many others. Questions for Reflection and Discussion end each chapter. Several extensive appendices list resources for the infertility couple such as “Patron Saints for Infertile Couples” as well as prayers and other helpful books.

This is an outstanding book and an excellent resource. The emotional and spiritual dimensions of infertility are covered exceptionally well. Information on NaPro Technology and Natural Family Planning are mentioned and resources are given for these morally acceptable ways of achieving pregnancy.

You can purchase this book at Pauline Books and Media or Amazon.com.

Highly recommend!

Trust, Fertility and Advent

By Ellen Gable Hrkach

Image copyright James Hrkach/Josh Hrkach

One of my favorite shows is “Mayday,” a documentary which recounts stories of plane crashes or near crashes. My favorite episodes are the ones where everyone (or most) survives. Survival often depends on the skill and precision of the pilots and flight engineers. I find it fascinating just what can bring a plane down and what can also save a plane.

It dawned on me recently when I was flying back from New Jersey that it takes tremendous trust to get on a plane: trust that the pilots are trained to fly the plane with precision, trust that the builders created a solid, well-performing plane, trust that the mechanics have serviced the plane properly. After all, which one of us wants to be 20,000 feet in the air when a mechanical problem happens or when a pilot encounters a situation he’s not trained to handle?

Of course, the same can be said for any situation. We trust our doctors, food companies, school bus drivers and many others. On a daily basis, we are called to trust those who are human and have the potential of making mistakes.

Consider how most couples “trust” with regard to their fertility. They take pills, get injections, apply chemical patches, insert devices, consent to operations. Instead of working with their fertility, they try to destroy it. Instead of embracing their fertility, they fight it. They “trust” that by using contraceptives, they will be able to “control” their fertility.

Newsflash: none of these chemicals, devices or operations are 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. No method, except for complete abstinence, is 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. And yet millions of couples put their “trust” in contraceptive methods on a daily basis. If the methods “fail,” and a child is conceived, many will resort to abortion.

So what does this have to do with Advent?

Well, a lot. When told that she would be the mother of our Savior, Mary replied, “Be it done to me according to your word.” That took tremendous trust in God’s plan for her. She didn’t say, “Hmmm, let me think about that for a few weeks and I’ll get back to you.” Without her trust, without her yes, we would not be preparing to celebrate Christmas.

Admittedly, the times I’ve appreciated Our Lady’s fiat the most have been when I was expecting a child during Advent and Christmas. I loved being pregnant and feeling the movement of my babies. It definitely helped me to be more empathetic to what Mary went through: nine months pregnant, on a donkey and making a long journey away from home. It was equally difficult for her to give birth in a stable, surrounded by the smells and sounds of animals. And yet Mary trusted that this was God’s plan for her and accepted it without question.

So what is God’s plan for us especially regarding our fertility? I can tell you what it is not: God’s plan is not for us to destroy the gift of our fertility with devices, behaviors, chemicals or operations. This “trust” that many couples place in contraceptives can sometimes result in an unwanted, permanent loss of fertility and can lead to numerous other consequences as well. Pope Paul VI, in his encyclical Humanae Vitae (On Human Life, 1968) talks about one of the most common consequences of contraceptive use: “A man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection.”

God’s plan is for couples to embrace their fertility and to be generously open to life. Does that mean that God wants us to have as many children as possible? No, it doesn’t. God gave us the gift of reason and he also gave us a built-in natural method of avoiding pregnancy that works with fertility and not against it. God, the Author of life, wants to be part of our decisions regarding our fertility.

What about us? Who do we trust with our fertility? Is it God or is it a device, operation or contraceptive behavior?

Couples who want to trust God with their decisions will trust Him with all of their decisions, including the beautiful gift of fertility. When couples have serious need to avoid pregnancy, Natural Family Planning is a moral way to do so. NFP uses no devices and works with God instead of against Him. Wives who use NFP seldom feel used by their husbands. NFP also works well to achieve pregnancy. It’s healthy, effective and safe. NFP encourages good communication and strengthens marital relationships.

Advent is the ideal time to rethink who we trust our fertility with. Do we trust a chemical company? Do we trust a condom manufacturer? Or do we trust God, the Author of Life?

Learning Natural Family Planning nowadays is as simple as turning on your computer. My husband and I teach NFP online through the Couple to Couple League. For more information on NFP classes or NFP in general, please comment below or email me: info(at)fullquiverpublishing.com.

Liturgy and Catechesis: The Blessing for a Child in the Womb

By Jennifer Fitz

“The kids don’t know anything! They don’t go to mass!” Put two catechists at a table, and it’s a complaint you’re likely to hear. Why does it matter? In addition to being one of the obligations of the faithful, and essential to the well-being of the soul, the liturgy is also an integral part of catechesis. I want to take a look today at an upcoming event in my diocese, as a way of illustrating how our weekly formal religious education programs fit as one piece in the bigger puzzle of catechesis and evangelization.

1. We start with the Catechism

What does the Church teach about sex and marriage? About the sacredness of human life? Quite a lot. Openness to children is one of the essential elements of a Christian marriage. Abortion is always and everywhere a grave evil, because the innocent child in the womb deserves protection and respect. We teach this to our students at every age. We lay the foundations with very young children by talking about how much Jesus loves them, how precious they are to God, and how important it is to show our love and respect for others. As students mature, we fill in the details year after year.

2. We support the efforts of parents as primary educators.

Sex, contraception, abortion . . . these are sensitive topics, and we rightly leave parents to decide when each child is ready to learn which facts. Organizations like Family Honor host “Catholic Sex Ed” courses that students can attend with their parents. Parishes can use curricula such as Ascension Press’s Theology of the Body for Teens to teach purity and chastity to teens; a course or handbook for parents (as well as parental oversight and consent) is an essential part of these programs.

3. We give students chances to act on our faith.

Do you take up a collection for the local crisis pregnancy center? Does your youth group march in a local or national March for Life? Is your parish tallying Rosaries for Life this month? Within the religious education program, and as part of the ministry of the parish and the community, even the youngest students can have a chance to act on their faith.

How do you explain “crisis pregnancy” or “abortion” to a very young child? Try these:

Having a baby is a big responsibility. Some parents don’t have enough money to buy their babies the things they need, or to pay their doctor bills. Some mothers don’t have friends and family to help them care for their baby. The “crisis pregnancy center” is a place mothers and fathers can get help to take care of their baby.

When we go to the “March for Life”, we are showing that we want our government to pass laws that protect all children, even teeny tiny babies. When we pray a “rosary for life”, we are praying that all babies will be well taken care of, and that nothing will ever hurt them. We are also praying for parents, that they will have everything they need to be able to take care of their babies.

We can get frustrated at students who don’t participate in our programs and events as much as we’d like. Remember that sometimes the reason the student is absent is because the family is in the midst of a crisis — the student is getting hands-on experience in living out the faith at home.

4. Enter the Liturgy: Lex Orandi Lex Credendi

The USCCB has written an official Rite of Blessing for a Child in the Womb to be used within or outside of mass. Here’s the heart of the blessing our bishop will be extending this Sunday at my parish:

God, author of all life,
bless, we pray, these unborn children;
give them constant protection
and grant them a healthy birth
that is the sign of our rebirth one day
into the eternal rejoicing of heaven.

Lord, who have brought to these women
the wondrous joy of motherhood,
grant them comfort in all anxiety
and make them determined
to lead their children along the ways of salvation.

Lord of the ages,
who have singled out these men
to know the grace and pride of fatherhood,
grant them courage in this new responsibility,
and make them examples of justice and truth for
these children.

The simple act of showing up and saying the blessing sends a powerful message from the bishop, priest, or deacon: Your child matters. Parents, I support you. I want you recognized for the part you play in the plan of salvation.

A friend shared that she had been present at a blessing for unborn children before she even knew she was pregnant. Shortly after, she lost the baby to miscarriage. She was greatly consoled to know the Church blessed and remembered her precious child, barely known to man, never for a moment forgotten by God.

5. And back to catechesis.

After our Mass for Expectant Parents this Sunday, there’ll be information tables for parents. (Also snacks, of course.) The diocese has lined up representatives to share information on Natural Family Planning, to support parents facing a difficult prenatal diagnosis via Be Not Afraid Ministries, and has invited the local Catholic schools and homeschooling groups to give parents information about their choices for Catholic education for their children. We’re fortunate to also be able to giveaway four copies of Sarah Reinhard’s new book, A Catholic Mother’s Companion to Pregnancy, a treasure-trove of catechesis.

Cramming for Finals?

As catechists, we can sometimes feel the pressure to teach the entire Catholic faith in twenty weekly lessons. That’s neither possible nor desirable. As a Church, do we say “Christian Formation” and think “CCD class on Wednesday night from 6:30-7:45”? Do we talk about young people participating in the life of the Church, and reduce it to a special club for teens, led by the one person in the parish who “works with youth”? Our baptismal calling isn’t like a restricted driver’s license, limited to certain hours until we’ve reached the age of 18.

How does your parish integrate liturgy, service, and catechesis? As we embark upon the Year of Faith, how would you like to see your students grow in their understanding and practice of the faith?

The Theology of the Body in a Nutshell

By Ellen Gable Hrkach

If we look at the four components of God’s love for us (free, total, faithful, fruitful) and compare God’s love to marital love, we can discover how to live the Sacrament of marriage as the ultimate expression of spousal love.

Free: We need to be able love our spouse freely. If we ask for conditions, that’s not love. If we force our spouse to do something, that’s not love. If we cannot say no to our sexual urges, then we are not free.

Total: The love for our spouse must be total. We can’t say, “Well, I’ll give you everything, honey, except for my fertility.” Total means total. (Re: CCC 1643).

Faithful: Obviously, faithfulness means we must only have intercourse with our spouse and no other. But if we want to be truly faithful to our spouse, we must be faithful in word, action and thought.

Fruitful: Marital relations must be fruitful, open to children, each and every time. That doesn’t mean we will conceive (or want to conceive) a child with every marital embrace. It just means we need to be open.

Birth control, in fact, destroys all four of the essential components (free, total, faithful, fruitful). Birth control violates not only God’s plan in fruitfulness, but it also encourages an “I can’t say no” mentality to sex. When an action, device, medication or operation is purposefully used to remove fertility, a couple cannot give themselves totally, no matter how much they love each other. Contraception says, “I give all of myself to my spouse – except my fertility.”

Natural Family Planning allows a couple to love each other as God loves: freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully. Couples using NFP chart the wife’s cycle and, if avoiding pregnancy, they abstain in the fertile time. If they are planning a pregnancy, they engage in relations during the fertile time. They are not using devices; they are fully giving of themselves and they are open to children with each and every act of marital relations.

NFP allows us to love our spouse as God loves us: freely, with no reservation, faithfully and open to children. Marriage can be a holy vocation when a couple loves as God loves: freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully.

Want to live the highest expression of your marital love? Use NFP and be open to life.

For more information about the Theology of the Body:
https://thetheologyofthebody.com/

For more information on NFP:
www.ccli.org
www.woomb.org
www.creightonmodel.com

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What age for this book?

Theology of the Body for Everybody

Trying to develop a Chastity Education Program in your parish or Diocese?

1. We start with the Catechism

2. We support the efforts of parents as primary educators.

3. We give students chances to act on our faith.

4. Enter the Liturgy: Lex Orandi Lex Credendi

5. And back to catechesis.

Cramming for Finals?