Maureen Smith, Author at Amazing Catechists

Healing the Wounds of a “Create-Yourself” Culture: Part III- Outreach

Once we are ready to reach out to those suffering from addiction, abuse, or any other pain, and we have discerned that the Lord is calling this ministry, it is good to take inventory.

Each community has a different demographic with different resources available, so it is always helpful to do a bit of research. For example, if you notice a need to help adolescent girls struggling with body image – take a look at what is already offered. Are there workshops, educational resources, therapists, dieticians, or other organizations and providers that can help? Are there professionals and volunteers that can join your initiative if you are starting something yourself?

Another tip, especially for adolescents and teens, is finding positive influences to counter the negative messages they are constantly receiving. I have heard of modesty fashion shows, group exercise classes followed by body image talks, cooking classes, fun runs, and other group activities aimed at building self-esteem and promoting self-care, in addition to providing the spiritual component which is the most essential piece. The key is to find a strategy to replace what is destructive e.g. media, magazines, clothes, and replace those negative influences with believable, relevant, and genuinely positive influences that will speak to the age group and culture.

Most importantly, your role as a catechist, youth minister, parent, etc. is to love them where they are wounded- to be Christ to them. Just as Christ has come to us and revealed His love for us, we are now called to share this Good News. The challenge, as I am sure all of you know, is to “re-propose” these truths of the Gospel in ways they can hear it, amidst the ear buds, “beats,” and bluetooths.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but this culture- more than anything else- needs to hear that they are loved, that they are loved with the “flaws” they may see in themselves, and even despite the flaws other people see in them. Underneath the make-up, clothing (or lack-thereof), dyed hair, piercings, tattoos, and bad attitudes is a wounded and lonely heart. Underneath the quiet, seemingly perfect kids who “have it all together” is a heart trembling from uncertainty and potential failure. Every person in this world craves love, and as “missionary disciples,” to quote a Pope Francis-ism, we are called to offer that love we have first received.

Being who you are, comfortable with how God made you, and living with a spirit of joy and gratitude is the best gift you can give. The Lord fills a heart prepared to receive Him, transforms it, and makes it a Tabernacle to whom those who need the Lord can find a home. I pray that the light of Christ which dwells in your hearts becomes a source of grace for all of those you encounter.

Healing the Wounds of a “Create-Yourself” Culture: Part II- Bringing Our Hearts to the Lord

By Maureen Smith

The first step in helping others is always taking a look at our own lives to see where we need healing. To be a trusted catechist, minister, parent, friend, etc. we all must make sure that we are pursuing our own healing, especially in the areas that we wish to focus on in our ministry. In my case, I learned that a significant amount of healing needed to happen before I was able to authentically reach out to others.

In this first step, we place ourselves before the Lord and ask Him to shed light on our own woundedness to see where we can heal, regardless of whether it “feels” related to our area of ministry.

The fact of the matter is that we are all broken, and the process of healing is the same. I may not be able to understand completely the pornography addiction of another but I can feel a similar shame that comes from my body image/eating disorder. I can see many similarities in the behaviors and symptoms. Although the object of my addiction is different the core wound is the same. All of us are wounded by that first sin in the Garden of Eden, and we all struggle at some point to believe that we are really lovable the way we are.

When we grapple with our own wounds, bring them to the Lord, and unite them to His own Wounds, we find mercy and healing and thus prepare ourselves to help others. We are also able to be in solidarity with those who suffer and can be more patient in their healing process.

The advantage of this is two-fold. First, we will be more other-focused, since we have dealt with our own wounds. At the same time we will be able to draw from our own experience and come from a place of understanding. Since we have experienced the healing power of Christ, the example of our life- which is lived with greater joy and freedom- will strike a chord in the hearts of those who know they are not free.

I pray that each of us will place ourselves under the Gaze of the Divine Physician in order to deepen our intimacy with Christ who desires to free us from all fear, all pain, and all sin.

Healing the Wounds of a “Create-Yourself Culture:” Part I – It’s Just a Phase…

By Maureen Smith

How often have we heard these words or spoken them? Especially with older kids and teenagers, we use this phrase to console ourselves when we don’t know how to respond to their new behaviors.

But what if it’s not a phase? How do we know? What if this little misbehavior is the beginning of an addiction? This is not meant to scare you, but to heighten your sensitivity to the signs of the pain that our children/young adults are unable to express in words. I can speak specifically and personally about the wound of eating disorders and how I wished someone had recognized my struggle. However, the varieties of disorders and addictions that plague our culture (regardless of our age, faith, and upbringing) have a very similar root.

What are all young people searching for in our culture? They are looking for belonging and identity. In the backlash of the “you can be whatever you want” spirit of the preceding generation, wishing to be free from all labels or generalizations, this current generation feels lost. We are now living in a “create-yourself” culture where, at a very early age, children are taught to create an identity for themselves and define their worth by their successes and achievements.

This can be overwhelming in a world with so many options and choices along with the expectation that those choices must lead to success. In an attempt to control the changing world around them, many turn to self-destructive behaviors to cope. For those of us that are in contact with these young people as catechists and ministers, it is not enough to tell them what is right and just, we must also meet them where they are in their sufferings and woundedness, as Christ does for each one of us.

When it is tempting to ignore the fidgeting troublemaker in the back row or tune out the noise of the latest middle school gossip, these might be helpful reminders to address the pain that our young people are carrying and don’t necessarily have the tools to process properly. We are faced now with the effects of decades of poor emotional and social development, and if anyone should be a part of it Christ should!

In the next few posts I hope to present my own experience of healing, as well as some tools to help you and those you serve to begin to see identity in the Heart of Christ rather than in “success” or “image,” which leads undoubtedly to disappointment, discouragement, depression, and despair.

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