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Discipline and Respect in the Classroom

By Cay Gibson

CCD evenings are tubulent and fast-paced.

At 4:30 the first round of students trample through the double doors. Sweet-cheeked, eager faces; some talking to themselves, others seeking to make eye-contact with the first adult they see and lasso you into all the many details of their day.

The hour passes so fast and they are gone.

At 6:30 the second round of students come through the double doors. At year’s beginning their eyes dart suspect down the hallway. They are mute for the most part. At year’s end they fill the hallway talking loudly, jostling, laughing, comfortable, even smiling.

The hour passes so fast and they are gone.

The teachers arrive in the office with funny stories, character stories, moments of wonder, points of observance, and questions of how to deal with disrespect, talkativeness, and doubt…but, more often than not, sighs of disrespect.

I’ve seen some moody disrespect in my day. In my own household I have two teenagers and two young adults. Moody disrespect? Psh! There’s more challenging stuff to worry about.

Oh, boy! Yeah, hold onto your erasers; I hear the ripple of disagreement rippling already.

I have only to think of my own teenage years to know how disrespectful I could be, and sometimes was, and how grateful I was to the adults in my life who were not offended by the problem that was, in fact, my problem and no one else’s. Those adults probably remembered their own teenage years and knew I’d outgrow it. They were right; God luv ’em.

My own limited classroom experience is that the more attention the disrespectful attitude is given the more the attitude is amplified. Many times the disrespect is not disrespect at all, it’s discomfort, boredom, lack of understanding, or a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad kind of day. We’ve all had days like those. Maturity teaches us how to manage those days and how to act properly despite those days. These young people don’t have those skills or the experience. They learn them through watching us.

I’m not saying children should never be addressed about their attitude and their responses in classes but this should be done one-on-one, maybe after class, never in front of peers. Scripture tells us how:

“If your brother sins [against you], go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15-17)

There is a caveat to add here. In this verse, Scripture is speaking of a “brother”, someone close to you, a spiritual brother, a friend, a relative, a peer. I don’t see where a teacher/student relationship fits the second half of this verse. How do you treat a Gentile or a tax collector? I’m thinking of Jesus being a teacher, a rabbi, to his followers but his followers were grown men and women, not children.  These would be adults who had full knowledge of what they were doing and how they were acting. One does not treat children the same.

We must hande children differently, even in this age that portrays children as being far wiser and superior to adults…which might be part of the problem. So we need to let the first part be our guide.

The teacher first addresses the child gently and charitably one-on-one, not before peers who will snicker, make faces, and be encouraged by the misbehavior of another. There is a mystery of discipline that happens out of earshot and behind a closed hallway door. If the child does not respond properly after a charitable approach from the teacher, then the teacher should address the D.R.E. to intervene. Sometimes my teachers have consulted with the other teacher at that grade level and sometimes that teacher has been able to assist. For the most part, a non-hostile, charitable approach is ALWAYS better. Too many adults take the attitudes of these teenagers too personally when, in fact, these teenagers are confronting so much in their daily lives that they lack the skills to approach higher authority any other way. They are often a product of their environments and if their homes and public schools were visited we would be more sympathetic to their plight and not view silent disrespect as an offense.

Something our church religious education program has installed is a discipline form. The parent reads and signs it upon registration. The students have it read to them the first day of class and they all sign a form. These forms are filed in their student folder in the office. If a child is sent to the office for misbehavior or disrespect they read the discipline form which they signed aloud to the teacher and D.R.E.. If need be they are asked to explain what they have done wrong in light of reading this reminder. Students should apologize to the teacher for being disrespectful and disrupting the class.

I’ve never had a student sent more than twice to the office but the third time would be a charm. Parents would be called. A child needs to understand that one hour religion classes have no time frame for silliness and disruption and certainly no adult or fellow student should ever be treated with disrespect.

Peers usually have more influence than adults over teenagers. Sometimes it helps to do skits in the classroom where proper and improper behavior are acted out. A teenager might see ways he/she could act differently towards a situation if it is shown by his peers in a non-confrontational approach.

Concerning the younger people, they are learning how to act by observing the actions of others. Sadly, the examples out there are often not very good ones. It has also been my limited experience that what drives one teacher bananas does not bother another teacher in the least. So personalities can play a delicate balance in the relationships between students and teachers. Suffice to say, it is prudent to never label a child as “bad” or “difficult”. The next teacher may find him/her energetic rather than difficult and sad rather than bad. A person’s own experiences can cloud their prespections as well as enlighten them.

As Aretha Franklin recently said: “You should never define a person by one thing and ignore all the other wonderful things about them.”

The final point would be for all catechist to remember that a smile outshines all social ills and personal faults. How these children see us during this one hour in the framing of a whole week can define their whole year as well as their image of the Church and the people who serve. And it can keep defining the Church from this year into the next and the next. A reminder of “What Would Jesus Do?” should stand as a constant reminder of “What Would _____ Do?” 

And that includes us as catechists.

Read all posts by Cay Gibson Filed Under: Catechetics, Catechist Training, High School, Special Needs

Dread is Not Gonna Happen Today

By Cay Gibson

It isn’t often that I dread going to the CCD office; my job there is often more creative play than work. I feel guilty for accepting a paycheck. Well, maybe just a little. 😉

But there are days we all open one eye hesitantly to the morning sunbeam, feel the weight as our husband sits on the bed’s edge to tie his shoes, hear him tell us that a thunderstorm should be passing through by evening, hear the door tell him goodbye, and welcome to our mind CCD classes entering the Twilight Zone.

The image I had this morning was one of thunderclouds racing overhead, rain and thunder orchestrating a symphany about the churchgrounds, tornadoes dancing on the wings, buckets of water pouring off the CCD building’s awning, and me held hostage in a building with 200 students.

I was wishing it was Thursday instead of Wednesday so I could chunk the covers back over my head, grateful for the serendipity of thunderstorms on the day following hump day.

Wasn’t gonna happen today.

True to this orchestration, teachers began calling in their notice for the day. I began calling substitutes to the rescue.

Then I did the best thing ever. I hit the dreaded day with two feet on the floor and a fresh pot of coffee on its heels. Then, enamored by that pot of fresh coffee, I put a batch of laundry to wash, balanced the checkbook, seasoned creamed chicken in crockpot, and went over lesson plans for the day.

Out the door I (with a fresh cup of coffee), headed to the office to print teacher’s papers and student lesson sheets.  Teachers and parents called about the storm. Parents called not wanting to get out of their houses. Can you blame them?

What would we do about the meeting and 1st penance practice supposed to happen in the church? What about the Baptism presentation scheduled for the Atrium? What about the 4th graders’ scavenger hunt in the church? What about the prayer garden walk for the older students?

What about…???

Bump. Bump. Bump. I mentally filed all these thoughts into the following weeks and left to get some lunch then take a breather at home.

I called the neighboring churches to see what they had decided. They were continuing with classes as scheduled.

My ten-year-old whipped up a bowl of French vanilla pudding and brought me a bowl.

Sweetness in the face of dread.

A peek at Facebook.

The visionary behind this wonderful webcorner, (Thanks, Lisa 🙂 ) left a 3-minute soul walk that promised to give me 24-hours (or maybe just the next 5-hours?) of peace. And it did.

Through Scripture comes the words of Christ: “Do Not Be Afraid!” and I realized I wasn’t troubled at all this day. I got out of bed this morning and did what had to be done, knowing God’s grace would sustain me. Peace was with me the whole day.

I love having a job that is more a calling than a job.

I love having a calling where God is my boss.

I can rest in peace over any decision, any choice, any plan that is made by my human weakness because I know that God is in charge of this job.

Gotta love a job that gives you peace.

{Update: Catechism classes went very well tonight. Very well. God’s Grace!}

Read all posts by Cay Gibson Filed Under: Catechetics, Catechism, General

Touch This Moment ~ Helpful Advent Ideas

By Cay Gibson

The next two weeks find catechists trying to focus on a huge liturgical feast while still in the penitential fasting period. Many children in our catechism classes will be released for the rest of December and the last sigh of 2011 to the secularization of these holy days as though they were just another linkage of days in just another ordinary life.

What do we do with that? We have such a short amount of time. How do we touch these children in the brief hour or two they sit at our side learning about a faith full of mystery and tradition? How do we help these children connect to sights and sounds and smells which some only greet when at our classroom door?

This calls for catechism teachers to pull out all the stops and unwrap a few sweet surprises. We want our young Catholics (who might not have any other exposure to the faith except in our classrooms and hallways) to leave class this month with a sense of beauty and awe for the faith handed down to them from the friends of Jesus; the friends who walked and talked and ate and sang and cried and laughed at the side of our Lord.

It is not a dried up crust of a religion. It is a milk and honey and living bread religion.

Do you offer it to your students as though it were a living faith? Do you allow them to feel and taste and see and smell the goodness in these early years so that as they grow and mature they can reach a higher realm of understanding the Christ who sat and walked and talked in their presence?

Remember what Pope Pius XI told us in Quas Primas, an Encyclical on the Feast of Christ the King written in 1925:

(21) “For people are instructed in the truths of faith, and brought to appreciate the inner joys of religion far more effectually by the annual celebration of our sacred mysteries than by any official pronouncement of the teaching of the Church (emphasis mine). Such pronouncements usually reach only a few and the more learned among the faithful; feasts reach them all; the former speak but once, the latter speak every year—in fact, forever. The church’s teaching affects the mind primarily; her feasts affect both mind and heart, and have a salutary effect upon the whole of man’s nature. Man is composed of body and soul, and he needs these external festivities so that the sacred rites, in all their beauty and variety, may stimulate him to drink more deeply of the fountain of God’s teaching, that he may make it a part of himself, and use it with profit for his spiritual life.”

Yes, it’s that time. Time to speak to both the mind and heart of our children through the feasts of the church. Time to wrap these external festivities into our plans and unwrap the sacred truths of our faith in our classrooms.

Little minds can not comprehend the total mysteries of the faith and certainly they cannot understand any official pronouncements. But they can and do understand the inner joys of the faith made known through annual celebrations.

And so we touch this moment within this season.

It’s that time. Time to touch the children’s senses and, by doing so, capture their spirit and invite them into a faith that is anything but lacking.

This Monday is the Feast of St. Lucia. Here is a simple but delightful idea taken from Pinterest. Bake it for your family that morning and bake an extra pan for your catechism class. Find a white dress, red sash, and a crown of greenery—perhaps St. Lucia-in-the-making will happily pay your classroom a visit and serve these sweet treats.

We have one more purple candle to light on our Advent wreath before the birth of our Savior. Do the children know that the Advent Wreath lights a visual path for their heart to follow? Does your classroom have an Advent Wreath? It should!

Why not let the children make their own during the class Christmas party.

Edible Advent Wreaths—I call this my Doughnut Ministry. 🙂

 

Items needed:
  • plain doughnuts (glazed, cake, or however you like them)
  • vanilla frosting tinted green
  • red hot candies (for berries)
  • a plastic knife so they can frost their doughnut
  • 4 birthday candles per wreath (I was unable to find purple candles so we used 3 whites and 1 pink)
  • For my class I added (because it heightened the suspense in this sweet treat):
    • green sprinkles
    • transparent sugar sprinkles (for snow)

Make a Christ Candle in class. All that is needed is a thick white candle, plastic spoon for carving, glue gun, beads and pretty fabric, and a small plastic baby (found in baby shower section of stores). Children love to carve, love secret compartments, and especially love Baby Jesus, safely tucked out of sight until Christmas morning.

Go here for the how-to: Make a Christ Candle and make sure they all take home this prayer wrapped around their own Christ Candle:

God of love, Father of all,
the darkness that covered the earth,
has given way to the bright dawn of your Word made flesh.
Make us a people of this light.
Make us faithful to your Word
that we may bring your life to the waiting world.
Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
 (From The Roman Missal, Catholic Book Publishing Co.)

And, for the older children in your programs, don’t forget to make use of meditation and candlelight.

It might sound simplistic but sights, sounds, and smells truly do speak to the child’s spirit long before official pronouncements and teachings penetrate their mental atriums.

Childhood is so brief, so fleeting. Make it beautiful!

Read all posts by Cay Gibson Filed Under: Elementary School, General, Liturgical, Prayer

Cay Gibson

By Cay Gibson

Cay Gibson lives with her husband, Mark, and their five children in Southwest Louisiana and serves her church parish as the Director of Religious Education. She is the author of “Catholic Mosaic” and “A Picture Perfect Childhood” and blogs at Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks.

Read all posts by Cay Gibson Filed Under: Columnists

An Advent Meditation to Use

By Cay Gibson

Around the world…Across the country…Among churches and neighborhoods…the spirit of Christmas is alive and well within many homes and church communities. It is the same spirit which St. Francis of Assisi caught in a vision back in 1223 and which St. Bonaventure wrote about in great detail in Life of St. Francis of Assisi:

“It happened in the third year before his death, that in order to excite the inhabitants of Grecio to commemorate the nativity of the Infant Jesus with great devotion, [St. Francis] determined to keep it with all possible solemnity; and lest he should be accused of lightness or novelty, he asked and obtained the permission of the sovereign Pontiff. Then he prepared a manger, and brought hay, and an ox and an ass to the place appointed. The brethren were summoned, the people ran together, the forest resounded with their voices, and that venerable night was made glorious by many and brilliant lights and sonorous psalms of praise. The man of God [St. Francis] stood before the manger, full of devotion and piety, bathed in tears and radiant with joy; the Holy Gospel was chanted by Francis, the Levite of Christ. Then he preached to the people around the nativity of the poor King; and being unable to utter His name for the tenderness of His love, He called Him the Babe of Bethlehem. A certain valiant and veracious soldier, Master John of Grecio, who, for the love of Christ, had left the warfare of this world, and become a dear friend of this holy man, affirmed that he beheld an Infant marvellously beautiful, sleeping in the manger, Whom the blessed Father Francis embraced with both his arms, as if he would awake Him from sleep. This vision of the devout soldier is credible, not only by reason of the sanctity of him that saw it, but by reason of the miracles which afterwards confirmed its truth. For example of Francis, if it be considered by the world, is doubtless sufficient to excite all hearts which are negligent in the faith of Christ; and the hay of that manger, being preserved by the people, miraculously cured all diseases of cattle, and many other pestilences; God thus in all things glorifying his servant, and witnessing to the great efficacy of his holy prayers by manifest prodigies and miracles.” ~ St. Bonaventure

The tradition continues today. Many religious programs are reenacting the “living” nativity within churches, prayer gardens, and church halls. It’s a beautiful physical reminder of the divine embracing the world. And, yet, after all these years, the story is taken for granted and the message becomes mundane though, each year, the season of Advent is a reminder not to fall victim to everyday monotony when viewing the face of God.

It was with these thoughts that I wrote the following meditation which I offer to all of you trying to reach the mind, hearts, and souls of our young Catholics in our religious ed programs this Advent season.

Having taken the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises for almost 10 years now, I personally think meditation is one of the most productive, calming, spiritually divine ways to pray. It’s something many religious ed program miss the opportunity to introduce to our young people. Our young Catholics are not comfortable with silence, calm, or peace if they have never experienced it or welcomed into its presence on a regular basis.

Yet it is beautiful. It is holy!

Through meditations, we welcome the youth into a pause that greets them without expectations, without discomfort.

Perhaps I’ll discuss meditations in more details within a separate post at a later date. For this month, let’s look at the divine.

This meditation was the one presented to our 6th-12th grade classes during our Advent Presentation. I share it with all of you in hopes that it will bless and guide your Advent preparations.

Advent Meditation by Cay Gibson (PDF file)

{This meditation includes visual props but may be done with only a reader and a flashlight—read slowly, meditatively, pausingly—in a dark setting which invites the youth to visit with God and no one else around them.}

Read all posts by Cay Gibson Filed Under: General, Prayer

A Teaching Tool for the New Church Year

By Cay Gibson

Did you know that God has sent you a personal invitation to learn your faith anew? Did you know that God has given you a second chance to internalize your faith and attached a tool with which to learn it?

Where? How? you ask. Those children entering your religious education classes, they are God’s personal invitation to learn your faith all over again and, this time, to internalize it. The tool is the liturgical calendar which begins its new cycle this first Sunday of Advent.

In Quas Primas, an Encyclical on the Feast of Christ the King written in 1925, Pope Pius XI instructed us to focus on the new liturgical year as a teaching tool to touch both the mind and heart of our youth. There’s a lot I could highlight and tip my cursor at, but the part I’m especially focused on is this excerpt:

(21) “For people are instructed in the truths of faith, and brought to appreciate the inner joys of religion far more effectually by the annual celebration of our sacred mysteries than by any official pronouncement of the teaching of the Church (emphasis mine). Such pronouncements usually reach only a few and the more learned among the faithful; feasts reach them all; the former speak but once, the latter speak every year—in fact, forever. The church’s teaching affects the mind primarily; her feasts affect both mind and heart, and have a salutary effect upon the whole of man’s nature. Man is composed of body and soul, and he needs these external festivities so that the sacred rites, in all their beauty and variety, may stimulate him to drink more deeply of the fountain of God’s teaching, that he may make it a part of himself, and use it with profit for his spiritual life.”

It goes on, of course, but this is the main flux. What a great read. You can read it at the EWTN website: https://www.ewtn.com/library/encyc/p11prima.htm

I love this! I love that Pope Pius XI confirmed my 21st century mothering and pedagogy instincts though separated by time and space. He agreed that the feasts of the Church do indeed reach all people and affects both mind and heart! Can children be taught in any other way?

He tells us that most of the faithful are not “the more learned” but are, in fact, “only a few” and we are assured that:

“For people are instructed in the truths of faith, and brought to appreciate the inner joys of religion far more effectually by the annual celebration of our sacred mysteries than by any official pronouncement of the teaching of the Church.”

This sentence alone directs the steps of parents and educators in teaching the Catholic faith to children. Take a child’s hand and walk through the “annual celebration” of fasting and feasting, of suffering and redemption, of life and death.

We belong to a Church which invites and welcomes the little children towards the altar of God. That the Church has given us such a beautiful, rich, eventful tool—the liturgical calendar—to focus on and plan our feasting around, speaks to our creative side…the side we share with God the creator.

To reach a child’s heart, one must have a heart which speaks to the child. Look at the church’s liturgical calendar. It’s the clay God has given you to mold into something beautiful this church year.

That the Pontiff agrees that we should focus on these feasts within our homes and churches makes me almost giddy. It makes me want to be a child again. A Catholic child in the 21st century!

Read all posts by Cay Gibson Filed Under: Catechetics, General

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