Amazing Catechists

Teaching and learning the faith together

About Karee Santos

Karee Santos is a happily married mom of six and a popular writer and speaker on Catholic marriage. Karee and her husband, Manuel P. Santos, M.D., began teaching marriage preparation and enrichment classes in New York City in 2003. They are also co-authors of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for a Lifetime (Ave Maria Press 2016). Karee's writing can be found on her personal blog Can We Cana? as well as many other places around the Web.

Marriage Memes: Holy Family

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I’m thrilled to announce the conclusion to this 12-part series of memes on marriage, covering every topic from communication to finances to prayer. This final installment focuses on the Holy Family, any marriage’s best and most perfect role model. Quotes are from Chapter 12 of  our Catholic marriage advice book The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for  a Lifetime. Please put our book on your Christmas list for any engaged or married couples you know. And throughout this beautiful Advent season of preparation, let’s ask Jesus, Mary, and Joseph to pray for us!

Meme #1: Catechism

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Meme #2: Scripture

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Meme #3: Quote from Four Keys

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Meme #4: Pope Quote

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Meme #5: Action Plan

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Printable Worksheets on the Holy Family #freebie #4KEYS

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In December, our thoughts turn to the Holy Family. We celebrate the Marian feasts of the Immaculate Conception on December 8 and Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12. And of course, all those Christmas carols  — even though they’re a bit out of season — remind us that Baby Jesus’ birthday is coming soon. So it’s entirely appropriate that this twelfth and final downloadable worksheet focuses on the Holy Family. If you haven’t already, pick up a copy or two of our book, The Four Keys to Everlasting Love. And God bless you! TO DOWNLOAD AND PRINT THE WORKSHEET, CLICK HERE.

Chapter 12

Turning into a Happier, Holier Family:

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Can Show You How


The Holy Family is the best role model that any family could possibly ask for. Our Blessed Mother Mary is a shining example of grace under pressure, faith in the face of uncertainty, and perseverance through the hardest of life’s challenges. St. Joseph is a pre-eminent father figure, protective, strong, and willing to share all with no expectation of return. As individuals we can ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do,” or WWJD? As members of a family we can ask ourselves, “What would the Holy Family do,” or WWHFD?

Manny and Karee describe the Holy Family in Chapter 12 of The Four Keys: “God was the center of their lives — not sex, money, or even work. The Holy Family shows us that marriage is more than just the union of two people. Marriage is the union of two people with God through each other.”

Chapter 12 sums up each of the four essential characteristics of faithful, free, fruitful, and total married love and shows how Mary and Joseph modeled those characteristics throughout their lives. The example of the Holy Family reveals how:

  • to remain faithful in times of joy and sorrow
  • to use our freedom wisely to work and serve for others’ sake
  • to cherish our spouses’ precious bodies, and
  • to love totally through self-giving parenting and constant prayer

As Manny and Karee say, “God has handed you the keys to everlasting love: how to love faithfully, freely, fruitfully, and totally, both now and forever. Unlock the door and step through.”

Conversation Starters


You can use the following conversation starters to get a discussion going between yourselves or in a small group. If it helps, think it over on your own time, take it to prayer, and jot down your answers before talking about them.


1.  Do you see any similarities between your life and the Holy Family’s? What are they?




2.  How easy is it to make God the center of your family life? What would make it easier?




3. What pulls you away from God the most?




4.  What unites you most as a couple? As a family? How can you become more united?

 

Marriage Memes: Family Prayer

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Advent is a great time of year to start new habits of family prayer. The fun of the Advent wreath and the excitement of preparations for Christmas remind everyone of the reason for the season — our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Here are some downloadable graphics on family prayer to help you out. Share with anyone you feel might enjoy them! Quotes are from Chapter 11 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for  a Lifetime. Don’t forget that Cyber Monday is a fantastic opportunity to buy books like this as Christmas gifts for your loved ones!

Meme #1: Catechism

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Meme #2: Scripture

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Meme #3: Quote from Four Keys

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Meme #4: Pope Quote

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Meme #5: Action Plan

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Printable Worksheets on Family Prayer #freebie #4KEYS

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“Only by praying together with their children can a mother and father — exercising their royal priesthood — penetrate the innermost depths of their children’s hearts,” said Pope John Paul II. And the future will never be able to erase the impact of shared family prayer. We share several ideas on how to pray every day and throughout the year with your spouse and children in Chapter 11 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for a Lifetime. Please get your copy, read along, and join in the discussion with the 4 Keys Online Book Club on Facebook. The last day of the Facebook discussion will be November 26. FOR A PRINTER-FRIENDLY VERSION OF THE WORKSHEET, CLICK HERE. 

Chapter 11

Turning Our Homes into Places of Prayer:
The Eternal Consequences of Everyday Family Life


In the day-to-day grind of life, it can be easy to forget that what we do now has consequences for eternity. This is especially true in family life, where we live out our vocation to sacramental marriage and, God willing, as parents to the next generation. Our families are “domestic churches,” where we share God’s divine love with each other and strengthen each other’s faith. A rich family prayer life can bring great peace to our homes. 


As Manny and Karee say in Chapter 11 of The Four Keys, “When family members spend time together nurturing their friendship with God, they form a nearly unbreakable bond. In becoming closer to God, they become closer to each other. Evenings become filled with prayer instead of electronic entertainment, and Sundays become filled with praising God instead of hopping in separate minivans to drive different kids in different directions to various extracurricular activities.”


In addition to explaining how spouses can deepen their prayer lives as individuals and as a couple, Chapter Eleven also shares easy prayer habits for families, including:

  • morning prayer (even in the car on the way to work or school!)
  • bedtime prayers (more than just rote recitation)
  • reading Bible stories (for adults, it’s called lectio divina)
  • grace before meals (a wonderful way to incorporate multiple faith traditions)

Conversation Starters


You can use the following conversation starters to get a discussion going between yourselves or in a small group. If it helps, think it over on your own time, take it to prayer, and jot down your answers before talking about them.



1.  Do you have a favorite prayer? What is it, and what makes it your favorite?




2.  Do you feel comfortable speaking to God in front of each other? Why or why not?




3. What prayers would you most like your children to learn?




4.  Does your parish church appeal to you? Do other parishes in your area appeal to you more?



Marriage Memes: Catholic Parenting

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There is no  endeavor more awe-inspiring than bringing new lives into the world and then nurturing those little lives into sainthood. Parenting well is one of the biggest accomplishments we can ever achieve, and the Church is here to help. Please feel free to share these faith-based graphics on parenting with anyone you feel might benefit. Quotes are from Chapter 10 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for  a Lifetime. Click here to join the online discussion of The Four Keys on Facebook.

Meme #1: Catechism

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Meme #2: Scripture

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Meme #3: Quote from Four Keys

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Meme #4: Pope Quote

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Meme #5: Action Plan

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Printable Worksheets on Catholic Parenting #freebie #4KEYS

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Once you’ve made the monumental decisions to get married and to have a baby — and once you’ve decorated the nursery and taken the childbirth class — you’re all done, right? Time for smooth sailing. Or not. Parenting is an amazing and sometimes overwhelming endeavor. Fortunately, the Church has lots of wisdom to offer. We share some of that wisdom in Chapter 10 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for a Lifetime. Please get your copy, read along, and join in the discussion with the 4 Keys Online Book Club on Facebook. FOR A PRINTER-FRIENDLY VERSION OF THE WORKSHEET, CLICK HERE. 

Chapter 10

Turning Children into Adults:
Forming Your Children’s Bodies, Minds, and Souls in Christ


There is no greater responsibility than parenting well. Our children are God’s gifts to us, and they will shape the world of the future. We are called to nurture our children’s bodies, minds, and souls, forming them in Christ. “If we are like pencils in the hands of God, as Mother Teresa said, then each of our children is a sketch destined to become a masterpiece,” say Manny and Karee say in Chapter Ten of The Four Keys.


Parenting requires courage, commitment, thorough preparation, and often sacrifice. In the early years, we help our children learn to eat, walk, talk, and even go to the bathroom, In the school years, we help our children discover their unique talents and discern the path that God wants them to follow in adulthood. And for their whole lives, they can still turn to us for advice on choosing between right and wrong. In the process, our children often inspire us to improve ourselves for their sake and become better than we are.


In addition to discussing children’s physical, intellectual, and moral formation, Chapter Ten also gives tips on:

  • developing a unified parenting style even if it’s not what every other parent on the playground picks
  • avoiding the trap of emphasizing intellectual development at the expense of moral development
  • educating your children in the virtues of anti-materialism and modesty
  • protecting your children from the possibility of abuse

Conversation Starters


You can use the following conversation starters to get a discussion going between yourselves or in a small group. If it helps, think it over on your own time, take it to prayer, and jot down your answers before talking about them.



1.  Thinking back to how your parents raised you, what would you like to imitate? What would you like to do differently?




2.  How do you plan to educate your children (public school, Catholic school, or homeschool)?





3. Who are your favorite parent models — people whose approach to parenting you most admire and would most like to imitate?




4.  What are the biggest goals or dreams you have for your children?




Marriage Memes: Special Needs, Adoption & More

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Our families don’t always take the shape we expect. God’s will for our families can make itself known through challenges like infertility, hyperfertility, and children with special needs. These special challenges can turn into powerful channels of grace, making us more compassionate and loving through adversity.

These graphics on special needs, adoption and more are great for parenting support groups as well as for marriage prep and enrichment. Quotes are from Chapter 9 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for  a Lifetime. Feel free to use and share them. And please join the ongoing online discussion of The Four Keys on Facebook.

Meme #1: Catechism

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Meme #2: Scripture

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Meme #3: Quote from Four Keys

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Meme #4: Pope Quote

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Meme #5: Action Plan

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Printable Worksheets on Special Needs, Adoption & More #freebie #4KEYS

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Some married couples are called to the challenges of raising big families or special-needs kids, or even adopting, fostering or stepparenting. These special family circumstances can open the door to a flood of graces from heaven to sustain parents in their holy and often incredibly arduous work. We touch briefly on all of these circumstances in Chapter 9 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for a Lifetime. Please get your copy, read along, and join in the discussion with the 4 Keys Online Book Club on Facebook. FOR A PRINTER-FRIENDLY VERSION OF THE WORKSHEET, CLICK HERE. 

Chapter 9

Turning Challenges into Channels of Grace:
Big Families, Special-Needs Kids, Adopting, Fostering & Stepparenting


One of God’s favorite ways to expand our capacity to love is through our families. No matter how big our hearts are at the start, they can always grow bigger. Many special family circumstances challenge parents to do more than they think they ever possibly could. Challenges like big families, special-needs children, adopting, fostering, and stepparenting can all be transformed into channels of God’s all-powerful grace.


As Manny and Karee say in Chapter Nine of The Four Keys, they feel surrounded by everyday heroes called to be extraordinary parents. “Whereas we have six kids, many of our friends have more — into the double digits. Several of our friends have children with a range of special needs, including autism, Down syndrome, and muscular dystrophy. We have watched other friends struggle with the cross of infertility and then turn that cross into a blessing by adopting or fostering children in need …. Still other people we know have turned stepparenting into an act of selfless love,” they say.


Chapter Nine talks about all these special family circumstances, explaining how:

  • large families are a sign of God’s blessing and the parents’ generosity
  • every human life, even if weak and suffering, is a splendid gift
  • adopting or fostering a child is an expression of spiritual fruitfulness
  • stepparenting shows great openness of heart

Conversation Starters


You can use the following conversation starters to get a discussion going between yourselves or in a small group. If it helps, think it over on your own time, take it to prayer, and jot down your answers before talking about them.



1.  What particular challenges do you think large families or blended families face? What families do you know who have managed such challenges successfully?




2.  Do you have friends whose children have special needs? What strikes you about the role the child plays in the family?





3. Do you have friends who have chosen to adopt or foster a child? What have you learned from them about what it means to be a family?




4.  Have you considered adopting or fostering children? What about special-needs children? Do you feel called to have a large family, or a larger one than you have now?




Marriage Memes: Natural Family Planning

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Although many dioceses require a class in Natural Family Planning as part of pre-Cana instruction, it may be too late at that point. Many engaged couples have already made their decisions about their sexuality and their fertility long ago. They may have been living together, sleeping together, and using contraception to prevent pregnancy for years. That’s why NFP advocates suggest spreading information on how to care for your body and your fertility at a much younger age, either in the teens or early twenties.

These graphics on Natural Family Planning are appropriate for use in catechetical instruction even before pre-Cana. But of course, they’re great for marriage prep, too.  Quotes are from Chapter 8 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for  a Lifetime. Feel free to use and share them. And you’re welcome to join the online discussion of The Four Keys on Facebook.

Meme #1: Catechism

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Meme #2:  Scripture

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Meme #3: Quote from Four Keys

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Meme #4: Pope Quote

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Meme #5: Action Plan

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Printable Worksheets on NFP, Contraception & IVF #freebie #4KEYS

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Many Catholics don’t understand the value of Natural Family Planning, and even fewer use it (about 2% by some accounts). Even fewer are aware of the Catholic Church’s principled objection to techniques such as in vitro fertilization. These teachings can be hard to transmit, because they are hard for people to hear, especially couples who are struggling with infertility and desperately want their own child. But as one couple told us in a pre-Cana class we were teaching, “if you don’t tell us, who will?” 

We included what we felt to be a gentle yet crystal clear explanation of the Church’s position on NFP, contraception, and IVF in Chapter 8 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for a Lifetime. Please get your copy, read along, and join in the discussion with the 4 Keys Online Book Club on Facebook. FOR A PRINTER-FRIENDLY VERSION OF THE WORKSHEET, CLICK HERE. 

Chapter 8

Turning the Fear of Fertility into a Total Gift of Self:
Finding a Better Alternative to Artificial Birth Control & IVF

According to Pope Francis, when we rob sexual acts of their natural fruitfulness by using contraception, we disfigure married love (Amoris Laetitia, 80). But 75% of sexually active Catholics use artificial birth control, according to one 2006-2010 study. So what’s causing the major disconnect between what the Church teaches and what vast numbers of Catholics actually do? One big cause is fear.

Women especially are taught to fear their fertility during their teen years when adults (with the best of intentions) warn of the dangers of premarital sex. In addition, many couples worry about the impact of children on finances or career plans. “Women can be put into a state of constantly fighting their fertility, chemically suppressing it when it’s at its height and then trying to jump-start it as it diminishes,” say Manny and Karee in Chapter Eight of The Four Keys.

Natural Family Planning (or NFP) assists women in breaking that vicious cycle. NFP encourages the mindset that fertility is a great blessing. It helps couples to avoid or achieve pregnancy in an effective, safe, ethical, and relatively inexpensive way. And it helps them develop the gift of sexual self-control. In Chapter Eight, Manny and Karee offer scads of helpful information on contraception, NFP, and IVF, including:

  • the medical dangers of artificial birth control
  • the financial, emotional, and ethical downsides to IVF
  • the advantages of using NFP to achieve or avoid pregnancy
  • selecting the right method of NFP to fit your lifestyle

Conversation Starters


You can use the following conversation starters to get a discussion going between yourselves or in a small group. If it helps, think it over on your own time, take it to prayer, and jot down your answers before talking about them.


1.  Do you and your spouse agree on the morality of contraception? If you don’t, how do you cope with this disagreement?




2.  What have you heard (good and bad) about NFP?





3. Do you or anyone you know use NFP? What were the most powerful reasons influencing the choice to use NFP?




4.  Which NFP method do you think might work best for you and why?