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Playing the Ordered Toward Game

By Amanda Woodiel

God bless the woman from our parish who comes to my house weekly to help out with the children.  Not only does she give me a half day out of the house, but she, who also happens to be incredibly well-read and steeped in the Catholic faith, enriches my home with a wisdom culled from years of mothering and reading Catholic philosophy.

So when my six year old son asked her if he could stack a doll stroller on top of a mini folding chair on top of a dining room chair and so on to see if he could eventually get his Tower of Babel to touch the ceiling, she was armed with a much better answer than I would have given when he asked, “Why not?”

“Because,” said the sage.  “That is not what those things are ordered toward.”

When I came home, she told me the anecdote, laughing that she had given my budding six-year-old philosopher something to chew on.

But she gave me something to chew on as well.  While I outwardly nodded and smiled, my inward self was as happy as a child treated to a new flavor of candy.  I quickly saw how brilliant this tack is, calculating how very often I can use this line of reasoning to forestall disaster and reasonably answer questions.

Why can’t I swing this metal pole around like a baseball bat?  Because that’s not what it is ordered toward.

Why can’t I climb the door frame like an American ninja warrior?  Because, my dear, that’s not what the door frame is ordered toward.

Why can’t I step on the baby’s sippy cup?  Because. That. Is. Not. What. It. Is. Ordered. Toward.

****

I’ve been reading the book The Benedict Option, in which the author traces the historical shift in the metaphysical understanding of matter from something that possesses inherent meaning and structure to something that has no meaning at all until a person assigns meaning to it.  We see this shift dramatically demonstrated in our current culture’s (dis)regard of the sex of a human body.

Before recent times, a person’s body informed the person’s identity.  The body itself had inherent meaning and structure. My body has female parts; therefore, I am a woman.  Compare this with the present-day “understanding” of the body as something that has no inherent meaning whatsoever.  The fact that I have female sexual organs, runs this way of thinking, in no way determines my sex.  Instead, I assign meaning to my body based upon whatever I want for that day.

How extraordinarily confusing is this way of thinking!  To live in a world in which everything has no inherent structure, no inherent meaning, no inherent order is to be lost at sea in a cosmological ocean–and lost at sea alone.  For if nothing has inherent meaning, then what common ground is there for two people to stand on?

So as a way to bulwark against the prevailing cultural view, we play the Ordered Toward game at my house.  It is a simple game, born of that day when my wise friend introduced the concept to us.

Everyone from the 8 year old to the 2 year old loves this game.  We simply name things around us and talk about what they are ordered toward.  Sometimes I name the object (what is a car ordered toward? To get us from one place to another), sometimes I play the game silly (is spaghetti ordered toward decorating your head? Noooo!), and sometimes I name the purpose and the children name the object (This is ordered toward giving us shade and oxygen.  A tree!).

It’s a fun game to play in the car or in a waiting room to pass the time.  The children giggle because children instinctively know that objects do have inherent meaning.

Start this little exercise at your house and you will be amazed by how useful it is. When someone throws a toy: “that toy was made to spin; it’s not ordered toward throwing.”  When someone sticks his feet in another child’s face: “is that what your feet are ordered toward?”  When a child tries to put his sister’s underwear on his head: “that’s not what it is ordered toward!” [Are you getting a picture of life at our house?]

At the same time, I’m laying groundwork for Theology of the Body before I get anywhere close to teaching about the mechanics of sex.  The point is that our bodies are ordered toward something.  We already talk about what our stomachs are ordered toward (to digest food) and what our eyes are ordered toward (to see), so when we get to the point of talking about our reproductive organs, for example, we will have a solid foundation upon which to lay the Catholic theology of the body, which is to say, that the reproductive organs are ordered toward creating and nourishing life.

Of course, as the children grow older and enter into the rhetoric stage of life, I’m sure we will have conversations about secondary uses and innovative uses of existing things, at which point we will discuss ethics and morality.  The first place to start when one encounters something, though, is in discovering what its primary purpose is–and this is a fun way to begin.

(This post was first published at www.inaplaceofgrace.com by Amanda Woodiel. All rights reserved.  Photo by Chris Crowder (2016) via Pixabay, CCO Public Domain.)

Read all posts by Amanda Woodiel Filed Under: Catechetics, Catholic Spirituality, Culture, Elementary School, Family Life, Featured, Games, Homeschooling, Theology Tagged With: ordered toward, philosophy, Theology of the Body

Marriage Memes: Married Sexuality

By Karee Santos

This next installment of free downloadable graphics focuses on the intimate subject of married sexuality and fertility. Nothing can bring a married couple closer together or drive them further apart.

Quotes are from Chapter 7 of The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for  a Lifetime. Feel free to use them in your ministry. And please join the online discussion on Facebook.

 

Meme #1: Catechism

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Meme #2: Scripture

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Meme #3: Quote from Four Keys

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Meme #4: Pope Quote

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Meme #5: Action Plan

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Read all posts by Karee Santos Filed Under: Catechetics, Catechist Training, Featured, Sacraments Tagged With: Catholic marriage, Love, lust, pleasure, sexuality, Theology of the Body

Gospel Shock and the Theology of the Body

By Lisa Mladinich

CATECHIST AND PARENT ALERT: I invited Bill Donaghy, a Curriculum Specialist, Instructor, and Speaker for the Theology of the Body Institute to give us a quick summary of some of the ideas behind the TOB and the Institute’s upcoming congress.

TOBInstituteLogoTOBcongressdates

Lisa: Hey, Bill! Thank you, so much, for taking the time to lay a foundation for our readers in understanding what the TOB is all about and learning more about the upcoming TOB Congress.

Briefly, what is the Theology of the Body?

Bill: The Theology of the Body is a refreshed, renewed vision of the beauty and dignity of the human person and our universal call to love and communion, which is written in our very sexuality as male and female. It is a penetrating series of meditations on both Sacred Scripture and human experience by St. John Paul II that reveals our fundamental call to become a gift, and through this gift, to fulfill the very meaning of our being and existence!

Lisa: Sounds incredibly rich. What is the Theology of the Body Institute?

Bill: The Theology of the Body Institute is a 501(c)3non- profit, educational organization promoting the Theology of the Body at the popular level of both the Christian and the secular cultures. Through graduate level courses, on-site programs and clergy training, Theology of the Body Institute seeks to penetrate and permeate the culture with a vision of true sexuality that appeals to the deepest yearnings of the human heart for love and union.

Lisa: Would you share the journey that led you to work at the Theology of the Body Institute?

Bill: I was privileged to be a part of the World Mission Jubilee in Rome in the year 2000. By “chance”BillDonaghyheadshot I was chosen to represent the United States along with 11 other representatives from other countries as a symbolic image echoing the original 12 apostles. We were seated near St. John Paul II for the World Mission Sunday Mass in St. Peter’s on October 22, and each received personally from him a mission cross which he placed over our heads. He said that we must “bring Jesus back to our country.” Needless to say, I was ruined after that day! How could I not dedicate my life to the New Evangelization? I found myself consuming his written works, and speaking around my little part of the world about the great things God was doing in the world. This mission spread throughout the USA, and when the Theology of the Body Institute was formed, I was invited to become a speaker for the Institute on St. John Paul II’s beautiful teaching the Theology of the Body. It was the most natural progression for me. God placed it on my heart, all I had to do was say YES!

Lisa: What an incredible witness. I know so many people whose lives were transformed by contact with St. John Paul II.

What is the greatest need in our culture today?

Bill: Great question, and I think it’s a simple answer. We need communion. We need to see and know each other, to love each other. St. Augustine said it best over 1600 years ago! “The deepest desire of the human heart is to see another and to be seen.” I think our over-stimulated, techno-holic culture has become so obsessed with screens and gadgets and quick downloads, we’ve forgotten this most basic human need… to see and to be seen. To know and be known by another. This takes time, and vulnerability, and honesty. But it so slakes the thirst of our hearts for communion!

Lisa: Great point. In teaching young people, we really need to meet them where they’re at and find a way past their screens.

What motivates you to do what you do?

Bill: I guess I’m motivated by beauty, ultimately. The beauty of life, of creation, of other people, and of God Who I think is playing a kind of “hide and seek” behind and through it all with us. The Theology of the Body has really been such a personal gift for me, to see with this kind of “sacramental vision.” It’s captivating to think and to experience that everything speaks; literally everything can become a vehicle for God to communicate His Mystery to us, culminating in the Eucharist. Life is such a gift. It becomes a romance when we realize He is the Lover seeking us His beloved.

Lisa: Amen! Take this even further for us; explain, using your own experiences, how you have found that every human heart has the same desires?

Bill: I think it’s been my own love of music, and art, and movies that has helped me to plug into this universal ache for communion and love that we all feel. It was Van Morrison’s tune “Into the Mystic” that really moved me as a young man. I think I was 16 years old. I felt this pull in the center of my chest into something, Someone, that was so big. Much bigger than me! Bigger than I could contain actually. It was scary, and beautiful, all at the same time. Then you read your philosophers (the ancients are the most clear headed I think). And the poetry, and the love that makes saints and mystics. You start to see our beautiful diversity but in and through our unified desire for a oneness. Our hearts are restless, Augustine said, until they rest in Him. I have found this to be profoundly true.

Lisa: The news is awful, these days. How might we unite beauty and suffering in our broken world?

Bill: You just have to watch the most beautiful movie that was ever made (which is about suffering) and you’ll get it: The Passion of the Christ. You’ll find that authentic beauty gives you in fact a kind of pain. The pain of longing that says “You were made for more. This world cannot contain your heart! Listen, and even in sorrow, hope!” To quote Dostoyevsky, “In the end, Beauty will redeem the world!”

Lisa: Can you explain what a Culture of Life is and what it looks like?

Bill: I think an authentic Culture of Life is a place where the other person is more important than me. It’s a place that rejoices in life, in beauty, in innocence, in the wisdom of old age, in our strength and in our vulnerability. The Culture of Life is anything but boring! It sees everything as a gift, and all of those gifts are calls for us to rise up and out of ourselves for others. That’s really why we are here after all! We are here to be a gift and to see others as a gift.

Lisa: Do you think the general attitude towards sex and sexuality is improving or getting worse?

Bill: Well, that’s a tricky question. I used to think it couldn’t get much worse, but I think the saying is true, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” We have so disintegrated our identity, our hearts and our bodies and our souls. We are seeking meaning and purpose and a point to it all, and that’s a good thing! I just think that there’s really only one place left to go: to the healing. The prodigal son at some point, turned around and made the journey home. I think the general attitude towards sex is starting to reveal its utter shame and hollowness. We are still hungry. We need redirection, a sexual reorientation. And the Father is running out to meet us, in the body, with St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body! What a grace-filled time to be alive!

Lisa: I agree, totally. Do you think the teachings of Saint John Paul II have the power to restore our culture and build a Culture of Life?

Bill: I have absolutely no doubt that Theology of the Body is the antidote. After my first encounter with it in a Catholic bookstore at age 16, in 1986, and a reawakening after many years (in 2000), it has spoken to my heart and healed me. It has a powerful grace in it, a gospel shock, a solidity and a weight of glory that is exactly what our tired world is looking for. God gives the Church just what She needs when she needs it. All we have to do now is open up our hearts, and receive it.

Lisa: A lot of people are really excited about the 2016 TOB Congress. Tell us why it’s causing such a buzz.

Bill: This is an incredible opportunity that offers everyone the chance to hear world-renowned speakers/experts on a variety of topics through the lens of TOB. Our theme this year is “Love, Mercy, and the Gift of the Family.” It will take place in Ontario, California. Some of our speakers are SR. HELENA BURNS, BRIAN BUTLER, JASON EVERT, MATT FRADD, ARCHBISHOP GOMEZ, SR. REGINA MARIE GORMAN, DR. JOHN GRABOWSKI, DAMON OWENS, MATT PINTO, JAKE SAMOUR, JEN SETTLE, DR. PIA DE SOLENNI, DR. EDWARD SRI, ROSE SWEET, CHRISTOPHER WEST, KATRINA J. ZENO, and more!

The talk categories include catechesis and evangelization, marriage and family, pastoral ministry, TOBinstitutecontactinfophilosophy and theology: covering topics like married life, healing, divorce, same sex attraction, celibacy, kids and sex, the new feminism, daily life, the Eucharist, and more! You can learn more at TOBcongress.com

Lisa: Exceptional line-up! Thank you, Bill!

Read all posts by Lisa Mladinich Filed Under: Catechist Training, Culture, Evangelization, Featured, Interviews, Lay Apostolates, Lisa's Updates, NFP/Chastity, RCIA & Adult Education Tagged With: ARCHBISHOP GOMEZ, Bill Donaghy, BRIAN BUTLER, CHRISTOPHER WEST, DAMON OWENS, DR. EDWARD SRI, DR. JOHN GRABOWSKI, DR. PIA DE SOLENNI, HELENA BURNS, JAKE SAMOUR, JASON EVERT, JEN SETTLE, KATRINA J. ZENO, MATT FRADD, MATT PINTO, ROSE SWEET, SR. REGINA MARIE GORMAN, Theology of the Body, Theology of the Body Institute, TOB

Chris West Will Write Foreword to our Marriage Advice Book!!

By Karee Santos

Wedding Rings on BibleIn every informal poll we conducted on social media, when we asked who would be the BEST person to write a foreword to a Catholic marriage advice book, readers overwhelmingly responded, “Chris West.” We are thrilled to announce that he said “yes” to our request!

As many of you know, Chris is a best selling author, speaker, teacher and world-renowned expert in John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. Chris’ book Good News about Sex and Marriage, published for the first time in 2000, is still one of the most popular Catholic marriage advice books on the market. His pre-Cana program God’s Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage is used for marriage preparation in dioceses across the country.

My husband Manuel P. Santos M.D. and I have been dreaming of and praying for this moment for more than ten years.  Back in 2003, we designed a pre-Cana curriculum based on the teaching of Pope St. John Paul II, but couldn’t find a text to accompany the program. So we began a labor of love encompassing intensive research, a book proposal, a publishing contract with Ave Maria Press, editing, and finally a title:

The Four Keys to Everlasting Love:

How Your Catholic Marriage Can

Bring You Joy for a Lifetime

As the book gets closer to publication next spring, we’ll be sending out digital previews for catechists and Adult Faith Formation Professionals who might want to use the book in their small groups or classes. Please email me at santoskaree at gmail dot com to get on the list to receive a free digital preview!

And here’s more about our book from the publisher Ave Maria Press:

The Four Keys to Everlasting Love offers a warm catechesis that illustrates how God’s plan for marriage can turn self-centered individuals into a united couple capable of experiencing deep, lasting, and soul-satisfying love in their everyday lives. The Four Keys to Everlasting Love shows how the intentional practice of Biblical principles in key areas of life can inspire couples to stay in love with each other, in love with Christ, and in love with the wisdom of the Catholic Church.

In addressing universal issues like sex, money, health, child-rearing, in-laws, and work-life balance, this book incorporates examples drawn from Dr. Manuel Santos’ psychiatric practice, as well as shared stories from the authors’ family life. The philosophy of Pope St. John Paul II played a powerful role in shaping the contours of the book, which explores the sacramentality of marriage contained in the late pope’s Theology of the Body and his encyclicals on family life (Familiaris Consortio; Gratissimam Sane), sexuality (Evangelium Vitae), and work (Laborem Exercens).

Direct, informative, helpful, and encouraging, this book celebrates the gift of our Catholic faith without downplaying the difficulties we face in living in a world that no longer seems to believe in the permanence of marriage or the value of trusting in God’s will for us. This book does not adopt a one-size-fits-all spirituality.  It is distinctively and joyfully Catholic.

Don’t forget to email santoskaree at gmail dot com to receive a free digital preview for catechists and adult faith formation professionals!

Read all posts by Karee Santos Filed Under: Catechetics, General Tagged With: chris west, marriage enrichment, marriage preparation, pre-Cana, Theology of the Body

“The Antidote to #50Shades of Degradation: TOB Fiction!”

By Ellen Gable Hrkach

onthedockMHThere’s nothing I like better than to curl up on a comfy chair (or the end of a dock) with a good book. I’ve been an avid reader since I was seven years old. I remember the first time my father took me to the library to get a library card. “You mean I can take any book I want?”

“Sure,” he said, “you can take up to four, but we’re just borrowing them. You have to bring them back in three weeks.”

I remember the joy I felt upon returning home to spend hours reading those four books.

By the time I was a teen, before my re-version, I devoured trashy, explicit romance novels (all available at the public library) like they were candy.

The 50 Shades books are quite popular and the movie is coming out just in time for Valentine’s Day. Women and men of all ages are devouring these books that promote illicit lifestyles, domination and abuse of women. It’s sad, really, but not surprising given our current culture of death and “anything goes” secular society.

Like anyone, I love a good story, but I especially enjoy a compelling romance or suspense novel. As I grew in my faith, I no longer wanted to read fiction with explicit sex scenes or novels that promoted abuse of women. So I began seeking out Christian fiction. However, I yearned to read good, compelling fiction with Catholic themes.

In response to this desire, I started writing my first novel, Emily’s Hope, in 2001. Not only did I want to write a compelling story, I also wanted to include information on the Theology of the Body and Natural Family Planning. If I was going to write a novel, I wanted to write one that had the potential of evangelizing. Admittedly, this book’s target audience is small (NFP teachers love it), so I decided to widen my audience, improve my writing and include the Catholic/Theology of the Body themes in a less overt way.

Since then, I’ve written four more books and each one has been on various Amazon bestseller lists. My newest novel, A Subtle Grace, just hit #1 in Christian Historical Fiction, Christian Historical Romance and Christian Romance. And my publishing company now publishes other authors’ novels.

St. John Paul II said we can “overcome evil with good.” Here is a list of contemporary Catholic novels with Theology of the Body themes that can uplift, inspire and serve as an antidote to ALL the secular, trashy novels that promote illicit lifestyles. These novels encourage virtue rather than vice, respect rather than domination and love rather than lust.

Emily’s Hope (Ellen Gable, 2005, FQP)

Passport (Christopher Blunt, 2008, Pelican Crossing Press)

Midnight Dancers (Regina Doman, 2008, Chesterton Press)

In Name Only (Ellen Gable, 2009, FQP)

Stealing Jenny (Ellen Gable, 2011, FQP)

Finding Grace (Laura Pearl, 2012, Bezalel Books)

Angela’s Song (AnnMarie Creedon, 2012, FQP)

Rapunzel Let Down (Regina Doman, 2013, Chesterton Press)

Vingede (Friar Tobe #2) (Krisi Keley, 2013, S & H Publishing)

Don’t You Forget About Me (Erin McCole Cupp, 2013, FQP)

A Subtle Grace (Ellen Gable, 2014, FQP)

The Lion’s Heart (Dena Hunt, 2014, FQP)

A World Such as Heaven Intended (Amanda Lauer, 2014, FQP)

Working Mother (Erin McCole Cupp, 2014, FQ Publishing)

Do you have a favorite Catholic novel that is uplifting and edifying? Please feel free to comment below.

Copyright 2015 Ellen Gable Hrkach

Image: Tim Baklinski (Two Trees Photography)

Read all posts by Ellen Gable Hrkach Filed Under: Culture, Evangelization, General, NFP/Chastity Tagged With: #50Shades, #anti50shades, A Subtle Grace, A World Such as Heaven Intended, Amanda Lauer, Angela's Song, AnnMarie Creedon, Catholic, Catholic fiction, Christopher Blunt, Dena Hunt, Don't You Forget About Me, Ellen Gable, Emily's Hope, Erin McCole Cupp, faith, Finding Grace, In Name Only, Krisi Keley, Laura Pearl, morality, Natural Family Planning, Passport, pornography, Regina Doman, sadomasochism, sexuality, Stealing Jenny, Theology of the Body, Vingede

Do You Tattoo?

By Mary Lou Rosien

Do you tattoo? This question arises frequently in youth groups and Catechism classes! The are arguments on both sides of this issue for Catholics. While some are adamantly opposed to body art, others are completely okay with even extreme tattooing. I believe that the ‘Catholic common-sense answer’ lies somewhere in between.

Although the Catholic Church does not have a specific teaching on tattoos, we have a Deposit of Faith that does address aspects of the human body and the dignity it deserves. The teachings from Theology of the Body show us that God’s perfect plan for our lives, faith, sexuality, and human dignity are actually stamped on our bodies in the way we are created. The bottom line is that God has created us in His image, perfectly!

So, some would argue, why mess with perfection? Well, we choose to style our hair certain ways, to wear certain clothing, to reflect some aspects of culture in how we present ourselves; shouldn’t our decisions about tattoos reflect that same thinking?

Instead of embroiling ourselves in a bitter argument about tattooing in general, we should consider it within the confines of our Catholic view.

1/ Why am I considering a tattoo? Am I giving into a cultural trend, or is that trend just providing me with another avenue to express myself?

2/ Is my tattoo drawing attention to good things? If a woman wears a revealing blouse, she can lead others into sin. So too can a positive tattoo lead others to higher reverence and a negative one can lead others into sinful or even scandalous thinking. Will your tattoo hurt your dignity in any way?

My own son has a beautiful image of St. Michael the archangel tattooed on his back. He keeps it covered most of the time, but when others see it he uses it to draw them into conversations about faith.

3/ Did I seek spiritual guidance before getting my tattoo? Before my teenage daughter leaves the house, she will often ask me if her dress is long enough. She trusts and values my opinion and she wants her body to reflect the beauty God creates in a modest/chaste way. In the same way, when my own heart was moved to put some tangible proof of my faith on my body (a reaction to seeing the movie For Greater Glory), I sought the advice of my priest. I chose a small (dime sized) Christian Fish tattoo placed on my foot. My priest understood my choice, did not feel it was contrary to my faith and gave me permission to go through with my planned tattoo. If he had said no, I would have obeyed.

4/ Have I prayed about it? We should pray about every decision we make, especially the permanent ones. Mark my words, tattoos are permanent. Pray intently before choosing to get one (or more). I often work with brides in PreCana classes who regret the huge back tattoo they got as they prepare to wear their wedding dress on their special day!

5/ Has obtaining tattoos become dangerous, self-mutilating, self-destructive or obsessive/addictive? These are very important questions that should be asked and discussed with a spiritual advisor or priest who is well-grounded in authentic Catholic teaching. Sometimes, getting tattoos is a way of hiding our true selves (shame), proving how tough we are (pride), or even hurting ourselves (they are quite painful). If getting tattoos is part of a deeper issue, we need to have the courage to address that issue and unpack it thoroughly before acting on our feelings.

In his blog, Stephen Spiteri does an excellent job of giving both sides of the argument regarding getting tattoos, as well as some great guidelines to consider. Another good reference is Father Dwight Longenecker’s piece.  Please fully consider the implications of marking an already perfect body, in any way. God bless.

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Read all posts by Mary Lou Rosien Filed Under: RCIA & Adult Education, Theology Tagged With: Catholicism, Mary Lou Rosien, St. Michael the Archangel, tattoos, Theology of the Body

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