discipline Archives - Amazing Catechists

It is such a blessing from God to have children. Sometimes, it is challenging and may seem less of a blessing in a moment that is not so inviting. As I step back from certain situations with my children and evaluate how to approach it the way God wants me to, to meet my child’s needs; I learn something new every time. It often catches me off guard when my three and a half year old responds positively to my discipline after taking a second to ask God for guidance. I have noticed in the past year that teaching my son to cherish life by respecting life around him has been an important part in raising him the way God would want my husband and I to.

I think it is important and crucial to first, before we make any rules in our household, to ask God what he wants for our children, because they are ultimately his children first. God has gifted us with another soul to help guide and protect here on earth. Then we can start to discipline. When my son started to display some destructive behavior during one of his temper tantrums, I knew I had to stop it right away. I began thinking to myself what would God want me to teach him, to help him stop this behavior. Then I had a discussion with my son about treating his body with respect (except I didn’t say respect, I used the word: “nicely”. I used words that I knew he would understand). I did not only have to talk to him about what treating our bodies nicely versus badly, I had to show him examples of these two behaviors. Ephraim did not understand this concept in one session, but we still work on it anytime he would want to start hitting something or someone. That’s the trick with toddlers, parents have to repeat the consequence until their child begins to understand the behavior is wrong and know how to practice self control. It is definitely hard to practice patience with young children, especially when you have to constantly repeat yourself. This is where prayer plays a key role when raising little ones.

I realized while I was helping Ephraim understand why he was being corrected for hitting or saying mean things to others, I also needed to explain why this was not good. When I started telling him, “God wants us to use our bodies in a nice way and not a mean way,” he started to stop this type of behavior.

I also, came to the realization that I needed to show Ephraim how to show respect to all of God’s creation. In the summer, I would show him how to treat the small insects and animals outside. Instead of killing, stepping on, or pulling at a creature, I would show him how to hold and explore that animal. I know it may seem trivial and going against the “boys’ nature”, but this small experience is a little lesson children can learn on how to treat all of what God has created around us. Children always need to be shown how God would want them to act towards others. I think the biggest mistake we make as parents, is that we assume they know why we tell them to stop a certain behavior. If we do not show them the correct way to behave, they may never learn. If children do not learn how to respect and treat the littlest of things around them with respect, how do we expect them to understand how to respect life itself; especially when it comes to the most vulnerable of God’s creation?

We can help our children learn how to respect life in simple ways, in everyday occurrences. Parents can help their children speak nicely to others, obey their parents, elders, and people in charge of them, offering to help others, using manners, practicing patience, and the list can go on. The most important way to help our children is to pray for them to always do God’s will and pray that you raise your children the way God would want. For He knows your children best, even though we forget that often. He knows them inside and out, just like He knows us.

Lisa Mladinich has an excerpt from her book up today at Patheos, and it deals with the number-one concern that many beginning teachers and catechists face: classroom discipline. She gives some terrific suggestions and I encourage you to read the column in its entirety. I’m having trouble posting a comment there, so I’m just going to throw out three things to keep in mind when dealing with behavior issues and teenagers.

1. Let them save face. Especially if you’re only seeing them once a week, building relationships with your students is of paramount importance. If at all possible, try to avoid dealing with one child’s behavior in front of the whole class. It puts you in the spotlight when you’re nervous about maintaining order in your class, and it usually means you’re going to alienate that kid in a way that will be very difficult to fix.

Try: moving around the room while you’re talking, slipping the student a note while you’ve got the class at work on another activity, moving the child’s seat – although I think it works best if you don’t do this in the middle of class but wait until next time around and rearrange several kids’ seats.

You don’t want it to appear that you are “out to get” the child who disrupted class. If you need to, pull the student outside while your aide monitors your class – but, to be honest, I haven’t had a lot of success with this when we’re talking about a once-a-week CCD class. It’s okay to send a kid to the office, and if you think you’re going to need to do so, do it early in the year rather than waiting.

2. A good lesson plan prevents many a discipline problem. Oh, how I hate to be told that, but it’s often true. If you’ve come up with a lesson plan that involves a variety of activities (15 minutes of lecture/notetaking, 20-30 minutes of small group work, a quick quiz or review game, prayer session), you are more likely to maintain the flow of the class without discipline problems.

Try: Write the plan up on the board at the beginning of class so they know what’s coming. It’s okay to say, “hey, guys, hang in there for about five more minutes of me talking, you’re doing great.”

3. It’s (usually) not (just) about you. Look, a lot of times, our kids are worn out when they come to class. You don’t know what sort of day they’ve had, what issues are going on at home, what someone said to them as they were walking from the car to your classroom. Try not to take it personally.

Try: Ask the child to stick around for a couple of minutes after class. “Hey, I just want to make sure I haven’t said something to upset you, because I feel like we keep having discipline issues and I’m concerned.” Teenagers want to be treated like adults. Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t alert their parents if there are repeated or extreme disciplinary problems going on with that kid, but approaching them in a way that shows you respect their maturity (the maturity that may lie deep, deep down below the surface) can go a long way towards reversing a behavior issue.

Oh, I’m going to add one more. Do. not. stand in the hallway after class complaining about a kid to the teacher who had them last year. It can feel like such a relief to learn that you’re not the only one who had a difficult time getting young Percival to stop scratching his fingers on his slate during your lecture. But…don’t. Take it to prayer, or talk to your DRE and say, “can you tell me some more about what’s going on with Percival? He simply won’t stop calling Eustace a ninny.”

So – what’s worked for you? How do you keep your cool when dealing with misbehavior?

Teaching Children to Cherish Life

3 Tips for Dealing with Classroom Discipline