Meet Them Where They’re At
Meet Them Where They’re At
By Nolan Reynolds
January 12, 2010
Schools are well-intentioned in offering a bevy of afternoon and evening activities to the student population. Clearly their aim is to keep kids off the street, even if it means being at school until 7:00 every night. The truth is, however, that while more times is being devoted to school and social activity, less time is being spent with family and faith. The old adage “an idle mind is the Devil’s workshop” could be reconfigured to say “a busy mind is the Devil’s way of keeping teens from thinking about God”.
Young people today do not spend enough time with their families. They don’t really get to know their brothers and sisters. Parents drop them off at school, pick them up at the field, feed them a quick meal, and watch them go up to their room to kill the remaining hours before bed time playing video games, watching TV, downloading music, and perhaps even doing a little homework. Wash, rinse, repeat. Five days a week.
The local parish youth ministry is up against a lot, but we must not group ourselves in the category of extra-curricular activity. Sure, a kid attending weekly small group meetings is not the most important item in itself on the “to do list”. The purpose behind that small group meeting, to lead that young person to holiness in Jesus, is the most important though. We’re not here to entertain. We’re not here to compete with the football team or the cheer squad. We are here because we believe in a God who can radically change teenagers lives for the better and a Church that wants to guide them to Him. Finding the time to cultivate this idea with teens living such demanding lifestyles is no easy task. It can be done though, by better asserting ourselves as leaders.
As I alluded to in my last column, I believe we need to follow Jesus’ example of evangelization. Among many things, the Gospels tell of a Christ who sought his people out personally. He traveled all over his world, from Galilee through Samaria to Judea, meeting people, caring for them, sharing meals, and even inviting himself into their homes. He took a vested interest in those whose hearts he wanted to change. We must do the same if we are to be successful.
Now, I’m not suggesting we start knocking on the doors of families in our parishes and inviting ourselves over for pasta. What I do propose is that we take steps to make our ministries a part of their lives by meeting them right in the middle of all their chaos. Know of a handful of kids on the lacrosse team? Support them by going to their next game. Is there a school play coming up? Be there on opening night. Has there been a recent crisis in the school? Volunteer to help. These are just a few small examples of how a youth ministry can integrate itself into the lives of teens and the community as a whole. And it doesn’t mean a parish has to have a full-time youth minister either. With the right team of dedicated volunteers who care enough about bringing the youth back to the Church, any youth ministry can assimilate itself into the local world.
This concept of what is called “incarnational” evangelization is not new. Youth ministry organizations such as the non-denominational Young Life and the Catholic model Life Teen have been employing it for years. Still, there is a hesitancy and an ignorance about the place for evangelization with young people. I find it very clear that the place is no longer on church grounds. Where I work there are literally thousands of Catholic teens out there. Even if those numbers are lower in other parts of the country, the fact remains that where there is a Catholic church, there are Catholic teens, even if they are Catholic in name only. They don’t know how great their faith is. They don’t know how merciful our Lord is. They do have a right to know it though, and when we answer God’s call to work in youth ministry, it becomes our duty to make sure they do.
My advice? Start small. Spend 6 months to a year just becoming a face in the parish and in the community. Find out what is important to the local teenagers. Introduce yourself to the parents and educators who are already working with them. Make yourself present. Worry about which group of kids you are going to treat at McDonald’s (on the parish budget of course!), and less about what the theme for your retreat is going to be. Show a genuine concern for the youth and never stop doing so, no matter how much your ministry grows.
We can come up with some of the best ideas in the world for events and programs, but it won’t matter a bit if the teens don’t trust and respect us. If they don’t feel like we care about them, then they won’t care about what we have to say. The retreats and youth rallies will come. After all, it’s much easier to invite teens when they already consider you a friend.
Nolan Reynolds is the full-time Director of Youth Ministry at Our Lady of Mercy Parish in Hicksville, NY. He's also a part-time teacher of abstinence education with Long Island Teen Freedom and a grad-student at the Seminary of Immaculate Conception (Huntington, NY). He personally maintains the ”Rise of the TOB” blog which takes a look at life through the lens of Pope John Paul II's landmark teaching on human love and sexuality, Theology of the Body. An up and coming speaker, Nolan has a passion for leading teens closer to Christ and sharing with them the Catholic Church's unique insight on love, life, and sex. He lives with his wife Becky in Patchogue, NY.
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