Pitchers 10: Physical Access

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Trust me, he’s sick or naked or hungry or something bad

Partial board from the Feb 15, 2012 class, which covered the Parable of the Wedding Feast (Matt 22), the Judgement of the Nations (Matt 25) and the Last Supper (Matt 26+). I was running out of space by the time we got to the Last Supper. For some bizarre reason, the cartoon on Matt 25 is labeled B, although it was drawn before the Last Supper cartoon which is tagged A.

One of the great things about teaching 6th-grade is that the majority of the kids know these stories already. So classtime is spent on adding depth rather than laying groundwork. Every year I’m pleasantly surprised by what the children have already learned from their parents and catechists.

Cartoon B illustrates that those who want to “do something beautiful for God,” as M. Teresa would say, will do things for “the least of  [Jesus'] brethren,” given that Jesus isn’t a carpenter you can take to lunch anymore. Jesus at left welcomes all the sheep on the right who acted in faith to help that poor wretch in the middle. The middle person in need of love & charity mediates their Corporal (you know, acting body-to-body) Acts of Mercy to Jesus; and oddly enough, mediates Jesus back to them as well. I elaborate on this with a photo book and discussion of MT (whom most kids already know), and the scabby, sick, smelly & scrawny people she loved. Then I say a bit about how her example prompted me to bring Communion to the sick for years, and tell a personal story of how Jesus once flowed back & forth between me and a dying woman. The kids remember that Elisha dropped everything when Elijah called him; as did Peter, Andrew, James & John at Jesus’ call. And they learn that MT did the same on a train in India when Jesus called her.

Jesus is big on action, not talk.

Cartoon A accompanied discussion as to why the Last Supper featured Bread & Wine instead of Bread & Lamb, like a normal Passover. The kids recall that Jesus is the Lamb of God per John da Baptis’ and so they eat Him through the miracle bread; and the whole “this is my Body & Blood” business explains all that weird stuff Jesus said the day after the Loaves & Fishes miracle. Then the kids remember the priest-king Melchizedek’s bread & wine. I draw Melchizedek toting bread and wine;  Abraham; and Moses (in his Ark). The kids figure out that if a priest makes an offering for you, and you pay him, that the priest outranks you in religious authority. Thus Melchizedek outranks Abraham, and by extension all his descendants such as Moses, who made the Passover covenant with God. So when Jesus says “This bread is my body/ this cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood,” he is using Melchizedek’s bread & wine. Later on, St. Paul explains to the Hebrews how this shows Jesus is a priest like Melchizedek, and thus his new covenant outranks Moses’ old covenant.

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Welcome Home! The Parable of the Prodigal Son

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A long time ago, in a faraway land, there lived a man who had two sons. The older son was hardworking and loyal, and he helped his father take care of the daily chores that needed to be done. The younger son was very lazy, and he spent his days just lying around, watching his brother do all the work.

One day, the younger son was sitting on the sofa, channel surfing, and eating cheeseballs. He was so bored, that he began to think of ways to make his life more exciting. He finally came up with a great idea!

His father was outside, tending the garden, when the younger son found him. “Hey Dad,” said the son, “I have something to ask you.” “Hello son,” said the father, “have you come out to help me with the gardening?” “No way,” said the son, “I’ve come to ask you if I could have my share of the estate now, so I can go out and see the world.” The father was not happy with his son’s decision, but he gave him half of everything he owned.

A few days later, the younger son left his father’s house, and went to the big city, where he spent his money on beer, gambling, and all-night parties.

After he had spent all his money, a severe famine swept the entire country, and the son realized that he needed to get a job. He went to Pepper Jack’s Pig Plains, where he got a job feeding the pigs. No one would give him any food, and he became so hungry, that he wanted to eat the food that he was feeding to the pigs.

“This is no way to live,” said the son, “maybe I should go back to my father’s house. He may not welcome me back, but if I work hard as a servant, at least I’ll have food, and I won’t starve.”

So, he went back to his father’s house, where he was ready to beg for his forgiveness. When the father saw his son, he ran to him and hugged him. “Father,” said the son, “I have treated you badly and I have sinned against heaven. I am not worthy enough to be called your son.” The son stood silent as he waited for his father’s angry words.

But his father smiled at him and he said to his servants, “Listen everyone, give my boy the works. I’m talking robes, jewelry, and for dinner, how about that fat cow in the garden! Tonight we will have a feast and celebrate, because my son was dead, and now he is alive again, he was lost, and now he is found.”

Now the older son was in the field, taking care of his father’s garden. He decided he needed a break, so he started walking back to the house. As he got closer to the house, he heard music and he saw people dancing. He asked one of the servants what was going on, and the servant told him that his younger brother had returned, and the party was for him.

The older son was furious, and he refused to join the celebration. The older son said to his father, “What’s going on here? I have stayed with you all these years, worked for you, took care of you and your property, and you’ve never given me a party. I’m a little ticked off.”

His father said, “Son, don’t you see, your brother has returned on his own, it was his choice. He has learned his lesson. He was dead, but now he is alive again, he was lost, but now he is found. Don’t you think that’s a good reason for celebrating?”

The older son stared at his father for a long time. He finally smiled and said, “Are there any cheeseballs left?” “You bet,” said the father, “your favorite, parmesan and cheddar.” “All right,” said the son, “let’s celebrate!”

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“Icky and Cece and the Mysterious Mr. Thuan”

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Review by Claire Young

     Icky and CeCe and the Mysterious Mr. Thuan  by Donna Piscatelli, is a fun story that sees best friends and new sixth graders, Isaac Babcock and Cecelia Manning, through their first year at Crossroads Middle. This new school year is sure to be interesting. CeCe campaigns for respect for their seemingly endless American food supply, Icky builds a rocket, and the foreign custodian the kids find more than a little weird keeps finding his way into their lives. But Mr. Thuan ends up teaching them just how much other countries are hurting and how blessed they are.

I love CeCe, first of all, because she is so real. She is appealing, but not perfect; has her faults but is still likeable. She has problems that, sadly, a growing portion of the world can identify with. Her family is the victim of a painful divorce, and she and her dad seem to be growing farther apart every year.

But the kids in the book tend to speak better than they would normally (I am, instead of I’m, you are instead of you’re, and how will I instead of how am I supposed to). In smaller amounts, this could set a good example, but it is a bit unrealistic. They also, once in a while act a little younger than they are. Take superhero day. It was a well-written sequence, but sixth graders might have been more on the oh, please side of something like that.

I liked the iPod sequence a lot, but it was never really finished. She loses it and it isn’t ever mentioned after that. DeDe could have given it back after CeCe apologizes to her, or she could have come to terms with the loss, now that she’s realized how much she has.

The scenes with CeCe’s father, mother, and with Mr. Thuan I found very touching. Kids need to know there are adults in their family they can turn to when there’s a problem, no matter how old they are. They don’t have to solve everything by themselves.

And, finally, this book has the rare and wonderful quality of being noticeably Catholic without constantly reminding you to the point of frustration or getting right up in your face. The Catholic writing industry and everybody else, for that matter, needs more books like this.

[Claire Young is a homeschooled seventh grader]

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Fine Art 7, Res Ipsa 12: Rembrandt’s Prodigal Son

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Where possible, (i.e., most of the time) every Bible concept or story is connected to something the kids already know about Catholicism. For example, Jesus fasting in the desert precedes Lent; the Meeting Tent anticipates a Catholic church; the Loaves & Fishes provides a model of both Church administration and the Mass; and David’s confession to Nathan, and the Prodigal Son story both foreshadow the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Last week we covered the Prodigal Son, and once again I used this painting by Rembrandt…

…along with the usual drawing and discussing:

Rembrandt’s Prodigal Son possesses emotional dimensions that aren’t available through the printed word. The kids plug into it right away. The handout of the image has the Act of Contrition at the bottom to encourage the kids (and their parents) to go to Confession. I don’t know if it works or not; all but two kids took the handout with them after class was over.

In the catechism business Hope always Springs Eternal.

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The Sword of February

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

“Hey it’s February. I notice there’s more daylight now when y’all get dropped off, why is that? The days are getting longer? Yes, the Sun is up more. It’ll be Spring soon, and the days…lengthen [on the board]. English-speakers once called this time of the year the “lengthen season.” Now watch the Magic Finger (I erase letters in lengthen so it says len-t-en); what does the Church call this season? Umm…Lent? Yes, why? Because the days lengthen! Yes, so Lent is short for…Lenten, yes, which is short for…lengthen! Yes. Y’all are too smart. Sometimes we say Lent, sometimes we say Lenten season. ¿Quién aquí habla Español? Me! Honorary son, what’s Spanish for Lent? Cuaresma [on the board]. How many days is Lent, Cuaresma? Forty. How do you know? Because cuaresma is like the word for forty. Which is? Cuarenta [on the board]. Yes; y’all can see how Spanish tells us Lent is 40 days long. Class, what’s up with 40; why not 38 days, or 43 days? Because Jesus was in the desert for 40 days! Yes, and the Israelites…were in the desert for 40 years! Yes, good. Forty is an important number in the Bible; there are more 40s in the Bible than we have time for. Now, if you’re in the desert like Jesus or the Israelites, are you having fun? I don’t think so. Right, being in the desert involves discomfort, suffering.

In most cases the number 40 signifies a time of penance and preparation. So what are we preparing for during Lent? Easter! Yes. What word does Easter have in it? Umm….east? Yes, and where does the sun rise? In the East. Yes. Like Lent, the word Easter also refers to Springtime. It’s an old pagan word, but now we use it for a Christian holy day…we baptized it so it’s a Christian word now. You can’t baptize a word! You’re right, I don’t mean it literally. But the Church can give old pagan things a new Christian significance.

So…is Lent a fun time? No you’re supposed to give stuff up. Yes, such as? Candy! TV! Fighting with my sister! Saying mean stuff! Yes, we deny ourselves those things in imitation of Jesus. What’s something the Church wants us to not eat during Lent? Meat! Yes, let’s look at meat for a minute.

When Adam & Eve were in Eden, could bad stuff happen? No!  How about the animals in Eden: would a lion eat a lamb? No!  Right again…and what was was the only stuff that could be eaten in Eden? They didn’t need to eat!  Well, that’s a good guess; listen to this bit from Genesis & try again: “God said, Behold, I have given you every plant-yielding seed which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for meat.”  Plants! They could only eat plants and apples ‘n’ stuff. Yes, but how about the animals? Listen again: “And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for meat.” Animals had to eat plants too?  Yes. There was no eating each other in Eden; just good things could happen: 24/7 pizza buffet, no going to bed early, beer for the grownups….anyway, life was perfect just being with God in Eden. But then Adam & Eve ate the apple and were thrown out of Eden.

Many generations later there was a guy with a boat. Noah! Yes, tell it. He put all the animals in the Ark and after the flood they all got back out and were ok. Yes..how long did it rain? 40 days! Yes, smarties, another 40! And after the Flood, God told Noah, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” That’s nice, that’s also what God told…Adam and Eve! Yes. But then God says, “The fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every bird of the air, upon everything that creeps on the ground and all the fish of the sea; into your hand they are delivered. Every moving thing that lives shall be meat for you; and as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.”  Sounds awful doesn’t it? All the animals will be in fear of Noah. Why? Because Noah can eat them now? Yes, he and his descendants can now kill and eat animals. Why’s that ok? Because they haven’t planted any food yet? Well, maybe. Tell me this: why is it that there are any animals at all, that they all didn’t drown? Because Noah put them in the Ark!  Yes, they didn’t do anything themselves, it was all Noah’s work. So if not for Noah, they’d all be…dead!  Yes. So the animals owe Noah…what do they owe him? Their lives?  Yes, so God is acknowledging that since the animals and all their descendants owe Noah their lives, God won’t forbid people from killing and eating them. Now just because God no longer forbids eating animals, does that mean he approves of it? No. Right. So apparently God tolerates some things after the Fall that would never have been acceptable in the Garden; which is hardly the same as saying they are good, or blessed. God didn’t say, “Kill and eat a bunch of animals, Noah and I’ll bless you extra!” But sin has made the world a mean and scary place.

¿Quién aquí habla Español? Who speaks Spanish? Me! OK m’ija, digame, cómo se llama “carne” en Inglés? Meat!  Yes, C-A-R-N-E means meat, flesh. How about ‘voracious,’ do y’all know that word? No…no…no. No worries, sometimes 6th graders surprise me. How about ‘devour’? To eat real fast? Yes, like a possum? No, like a lion! Yes, like a predator. If we put the Latin roots of carne and devour together we get carnivorous; anyone know that word? Yes, it means to eat meat!  Yes, ever since Noah we’ve been carnivores, like lions. Animals are afraid of us, even the predators.

So tell me: is it better to be in Eden or in the world of sin? Eden!  Yes, where nobody would kill or eat animals; and so they weren’t afraid of people. Well, during Lent, the Church encourages us to think about living as though we were in Eden, at least as far as animals are concerned. I like eating meat, but I admit that if I have a hamburger, someone killed a cow. In fact my eldest son has been a vegetarian for years because of this, and he’s perfectly healthy eating veggies. I admire that, even if I don’t follow his example. Yes? What are you giving up? Well, I don’t know yet; usually we do extra things during Lent instead of giving things up: go to Vespers and Stations of the Cross; go to confession, that sort of thing. But I tell you what, we gave up watching TV for Lent more than 15 years ago, and still don’t watch it. Really? Yep. You won’t watch the Super Bowl? Nope. Look, I thought I was gonna die the first week or so without TV, but we got used to it, and we like the house being quiet. What about your kids? They’re fine with it too- and we can watch DVDs if we want to. I think part of the point of giving something up is that you find out you don’t really need it or want it as much as you thought.

Hey, besides Lent, what else happens in February? No guesses? Let me ask the girls in particular: daughters, what special day comes in February? Valentine’s day! Yes, Saint Valentine’s feast day on the 14th. It’s Catholic. You boys ever heard of Valentine’s Day? Yes. Isn’t it exciting? No. Uh-huh; you’ll change that tune soon enough. No we won’t! Uh-huh. So what happens on Valentine’s? People get candy and cards and stuff. Yes, it’s very romantic, right boys? Boys…?

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, tell me about those fat winged babies [I draw] on the cards. Aren’t they angels? Sort of. How about the one with the arrows? He’s Cupid! Yes who is a…Roman god! Yes, make-believe, of course. You might say he’s been baptized into Valentine’s Day. The proper word for those flying chubbies is “putti.” Pooty!? Ha, pooty! Not pooty: put-ti, it’s Italian. But no American wants to think, “hey, look at the pooty all over that Valentine’s day card.” So we use another word….anyone know it? No? That’s ok.

 Happy Valentine’s Day!

Who knows what a cherub is? They’re the little baby Valentine angels! Yes, you got it, they’re cuddly and silly. But a real cherub is not cuddly and silly. Somebody tell me about Adam & Eve after the apple. God made them leave Eden! Yes. Genesis says, “He drove out the man; and at the east of the Garden of Eden he placed the cherub[im], with a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the tree of life.” What language do you suppose “cherub” is if I’m reading from Genesis? Umm…Hebrew? Yes, genius! In Hebrew it’s spelled like this [on the board]: K-E-R-U-B, kerub. Kerub means “near one,” an angel who is close to God. When the President goes out in public there are usually some tough guys who stay near him all the time, why’s that? They keep people from bothering him. Yes, what do you call those guys? Bodyguards? Yes. The kerubs, the cherubim, are like God’s bodyguards, and they are as serious as cancer. On Valentine’s Day I’m my wife’s Kerub-with-a-K. Don’ make me git my flamin’ sword out! Keep away! Hey, did y’all know we have two kerubs in our church? We do? Where? Mmm, I’m not telling tonight, but we’ll find out later this year.

In the meantime keep your eyes open in church. If you find ‘em on your own, tell us.

Class over!

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Pitchers 9, Res Ipsa 11: Prior Knowledge

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You feed ‘em!
Partial board from the Jan 25, 2012 class. Lesson plan runs from Feeding the Multitudes to the Bread of Life Discourse, to Simon’s name-change to Peter.

Now that Jesus is busy-busy with his ministry, the Gospels run thick and fast with references to the Old Testament. Loaves’n'Fishes is introduced by an edited version of 2Kings 4:42-44:

“42 A man came from Baal-shalishah, bringing the man of God bread of the first fruits, twenty loaves of barley, and fresh ears of grain in his sack. And Elisha said, “Give to the men, that they may eat.” 43 But his servant said, “How am I to set this before a hundred men?” So he repeated, “Give them to the men, that they may eat, for thus says the LORD, ‘They shall eat and have some left.’” 44 So he set it before them. And they ate, and had some left, according to the word of the LORD.”

We also look at Matt 19:13-15 for reasons that become apparent as we get into the Loaves story:

“Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people; 14 but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And he laid his hands on them and went away.”

During Peter-gets-the-Keys, the kids barely recalled Isaiah 22, which we acted out a couple of months ago:

“I will call my servant Eliakim the son of Hilkiah, 21 and I will clothe him with your robe, and will bind your girdle on him, and will commit your authority to his hand; and he shall be a father to the inhabitants of Jerusalem and to the house of Judah. 22 And I will place on his shoulder the key of the house of David; he shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open.”

Past classes needed little-to-no reminding about Isaiah 22, but this year I almost had to give them the answer, which is anathema to me. Anyway, they finally remembered the key business, but with such coaxing! But the 8 kids who came were tired; and they were guessing like monkeys, which means answering first, then thinking.

On the whole it was still a good class.

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Snips & Snails & Kunarion Tales

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Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough

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During the Jan. 18 class on Jesus’ intercessory miracles (Cana, Jairus’ daughter, the Centurion’s servant, etc.), a student asked about the miracle where Jesus calls a woman a dog. I gave an off-the-cuff answer I wasn’t satisfied with, said I’d come back next week with something better.

Here’s the story from Matt 15: 21-28:

“And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and cried, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely possessed by a demon.” 23 But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying after us.” 24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25 But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” 26 And he answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” 27 She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” 28* Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.”

Because she’s a pagan Canaanite it’s no surprise that she’s indirectly compared to a dog. And not in a nice, faithful Fido way, but like this: “Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under foot and turn to attack you.” But as we’ll see, sometimes a dog is not a dog.

Here’s how it worked in class:

“Hey, daughter, remember last week you asked about the woman that Jesus called a dog. That’s a great story I’ve never covered in class before, but let’s look at it now before we get into the lesson plan.

Here we go: “And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon.” The story starts with Jesus getting out of Judea for a while because he had been aggravating the scribes and Pharisees. Sidon is also where Elijah fled to after he aggravated King Ahab. You may remember he stayed in Zarephath. Tell me about it. He made food for the woman! Yes, her flour and oil didn’t run out; why? Cause she was nice to him! Yes; God favored her with miracles because of her charity, even though she was a…pagan! Yes. And remember Jesus aggravated people at the synagogue in Nazareth when he reminded them about Elijah working miracles for the pagan widow in Zarephath instead of helping Chosen People during the drought.

“And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and cried, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely possessed by a demon.” 23 But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying after us.” They don’t want a pagan woman hanging around. But Jesus says, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Who are these lost sheep? Jews! Yes. But is Jesus telling her he won’t help? No. Right. He’s just saying that helping her isn’t his job. At the wedding in Cana what did Mary tell Jesus? They have no wine. Yes, and Jesus said…why is that my problem? Yes, and...my time has not yet come. Yes, good. Is Jesus saying he won’t help? No. Right. He’s not being mean or uncooperative in either case…I think he’s just giving people a chance to show their faith more clearly for the benefit of the people around them.

“But [the Canaanite woman] came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” Is she giving up? No! Right. But Jesus said, “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” Who are the children? Well…people’s kids? Umm, that’s not a bad guess; the children are God’s sons and daughters…his family…the Jews! Yes. And the dogs? Pagans! Yes, like…the woman! Yes. If we say “throw it to the dogs” or “work like a dog” or “live like a dog” is it good? No it’s bad. Yes, we don’t mean a happy family dog, a pet. We mean a rough dog, one that has a hard life. As Jesus said on another occasion: “Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under foot and turn to attack you.” Yikes! So Jesus says the kids get the bread, not “the dogs.”

Do y’all know what swine are? Pigs? Yes, just checking. Pigs and dogs were unclean, like pagans.

The word dog shows up 41 times in the English Bible; pretty often. And what language was the New Testament written in? Greek! Yes. The Greek word for dog is kuon [on the board] (κυων). Almost every time an English Bible says dog, the Greeks say kuon. But when Jesus says “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs,” the Greek word is kunarion [on the board] (κυναριον). Now in English if we want to call a dog [otb], we’d say, “here, dog.” But if it were a little dog, we’d say…here, doggie! Yes, doggie [otb]. To add an -ie or a -y does what to an English word? It makes it little! Yes. Well in Greek, -arion does the same thing. So if kuon means…dog, yes, then kunarion means…doggie!  Yes. Can it mean puppy? Yes, puppy is ok too. We might also say lapdog. What’s that? A little dog that sits on your lap? Yes. Hey somebody dígame, cómo se llama “dog” en español? Perro [otb]. Yes. Some Spanish Bibles say perrillo [otb] in this story, what that mean? Puppy! Yes. the -illo suffix means…little! Yes.

So what Jesus says to the woman is, “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to the doggies, the pups.” I think the apostles expected Jesus to refer to the woman as a kuon, a dog. That was a common way for Jews to describe pagans. But instead, Jesus says “doggie,” which is kind of affectionate; how you’d call a pet. Maybe he was smiling a little bit as he spoke. Jesus is showing the apostles that even though he was sent to the Jews, he can include “all peoples” in his work, as Isaiah used to say.

Now, has Jesus rejected the woman this time? I don’t think so. Right. The woman now says, “even the doggies eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” What’s she mean? That she just wants a little bit of help? Yes. She’s not a greedy dog, but a harmless little…puppy!  Yes, who’s happy to have what the children leave behind. She knows “the Master” will give them more food than they can eat. And how many times has she asked Jesus for a little help? Umm…three times!  So…it’s a contract! Good thinking; in this case it’s not so much a contract as it is her firm demonstration of faith. How many times do you think she’s willing to ask Jesus to heal her daughter? As many times as it takes! Yes, but three times is enough. And Jesus says, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly. I bet the apostles were thinking, “Wow, this is like when Elijah fled to Sidon and brought the pagan widow’s dead son back to life.”

Tell me: did the Canaanite woman’s daughter have faith? We don’t know. Jairus’ daughter? Don’t know! Centurion’s servant? Don’t know! Paralyzed man? Don’t know! The wedding party at Cana? Don’t know! Right. Jesus did those people a favor because other people of faith asked for them. What’s that called? Intercession! Yes. And remind me who intercedes when a baby is baptized? The parents! And does Jesus do the parents a favor? Yes! Right!

Y’all are smart children!

For those who must know: Greek kuon κυων is related to the Latin canis via the Indo-European stem kwon. And a quick tour of other Bibles show the “dogs” to be cagnolini (Italian), cachorrinhos (Portuguese), petits chiens (French), små hunder (Norwegian), and щенята (Ukranian): not dogs, but doggies.

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Pitchers 8, Res Ipsa 10: Tebow & Tassels

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…and zap! Jesus’ power flowed through his body to his cloak to the tassel to the woman…
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Edited recap of the January 18, 2012 class.

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This bit by Joyce Donahue motivated me to work Tebowing into Wednesday Night Sunday School: “Hey I gotta question for y’all. Don’t answer, just raise your hand: who knows how to Tebow…y’all come up here. Nobody else knows? That’s OK. You two, when I count to three, do it…1, 2, 3, TEBOW!” And the two sporting boys execute perfect, simultaneous Tebows, rivaling the Master.

“None of y’all know what this is? Oh yeah, that’s the football player who prays all the time! Right, they’re praying. If you’re gonna pray for just a few seconds it’s simpler to get down and up on one knee instead of two. When do we do that in a Catholic Church? When do we Tebow? No…I mean when do we go down on one knee instead of two. Genuflecting! Umm, yes, that’s what we call it. But when do you do it? When you’re about to sit down. Yes. Have any of y’all been to a church that isn’t Catholic? Me…me too. OK, do y’all genuflect in those churches? No. Anybody know why not? ‘Cause they don’t have a tabernacle! Yes, genius, like so…altar…tabernacle.

Hey, what’s a tavern? A bar! Yes, a place to have a beer, but it comes from this word, taberna, which means house in Latin. Our word tabernacle comes from the Latin word tabernaculum, which means little house. So…tell me something. It’s Jesus’ house! Yes, so when Jesus is in his house...we genuflect. Yes. Tell me a day that we don’t genuflect. Christmas! No! Easter! No! Stop guessing like monkeys! Good Friday! Yes, why? Cause Jesus isn’t in his house. So where is he? On the cross. Yes. Usually on Good Friday we kneel to venerate the crucifix. It’s a bit more intense than a genuflection. By the way, what’s that mean: to genuflect? Bow down! Close…pray! Also close…if something is flexible it can...bend! Yes, so if -flect- means bend, then…it means bend your knee! Yes. Genua is Latin for…knee! Yes. The G-N is related to the K-N from before there was English or Latin; “-kn-” and “-gn-” sounds are very close to each other. Yes? Why don’t we say the k? Well, we stopped saying those k’s centuries ago, but we used to say them. Germans still do, they say “k’nee.” That sounds weird. Yes, but it sounds normal to Germans. Historically speaking, people were genuflecting long before Jesus was born…why? For an emperor! Yes, or…a king! Yes, people genuflected before people who had authority over them. We still do that when Jesus is in his little house.”

The lesson plan includes discussing and acting out miracles, many of them intercessory. Some people, including the pagan Centurion (who commands how many men? 100! Yes!) and the pagan Canaanite woman, are ok with miracles-at-a-distance. But Jairus wants Jesus to come to his house, the Paralytic’s friends dropped him through the roof onto Jesus’ head, and the Woman with the Hemorrhage tries to grab Jesus. Maybe they lack the faith of the pagan Roman; but then again, maybe they intuit something important about Jesus’ body. “Yes? What’s intuit? To know something or figure it out without knowing exactly why.”

“OK, let’s draw…the Gingerbread Man! Uh-huh, which shows we are a…body’n'soul!  Yes. Now over here to the left let’s draw…another Gingerbread Man! Yes, but this one is Jesus…here’s a J. Jesus also has a…body’n'soul. Yes. He’s like us in that he’s both stuff’n'spirit; ’cause our bodies are just…stuff! Yes, like…dirt! Yes.

Now tell me what this is…a soul...yes. But let’s say spirit in this case. And this is…another spirit! Yes. So? So what? Well, what’s odd about these spirits? They don’t have bodies. Yes. So? They’re angels! Ooh, great guess honorary son, but no. They’re God! Genius, yes, but what flavors? God the Father and the Holy Spirit! Yes. Do y’all get that? No? Explain it, please. Jesus has a body but they don’t.  Yes, and those three persons make…the Trinity. Yes, exactly so, one God, three Persons.

Now before Jesus, which Person could you have a relationship with? The Father? Yes (arrow). How? By praying & stuff. Yes, spirit-to-spirit. And how does it work with the Holy Spirit? Umm, spirits, too? Yes. But I thought the Holy Spirit was a dove. That’s a good question. The Holy Spirit may appear as a dove but isn’t one. Like angels: did Gabriel appear to Mary? Yes. Are angels made with bodies? No. Right.

Now tell me about people having an encounter with Jesus instead of the Father or Holy Spirit. It would be with both parts. Yes…stuff”n’spirit. Because the people and Jesus all were stuff”n’spirit,  they wanted to have not just a spiritual encounter, but..a physical encounter! (two arrows) Yes, genius! So they naturally wanted Jesus to touch them, or their friends, or their children. They wanted the whole deal. Yes? But the soldier didn’t. Yes. Partly because he was a commander and used to knowing things would be done if he said so. But he still went to talk to Jesus. He saw him and heard him and smelled him even if he didn’t grab a hold of him. Eww, gross! Hey now, people don’t necessarily stink. Y’all know I’m married; am I married to my wife just soul-to-soul? No, both parts! Yes. Well, when I go home tonight she’ll be sitting at her desk, and I’ll come hug her and smell her neck. If she were out of town I couldn’t do that. I’d miss the physical encounter with her and how nice she smells. So people would want to have that full encounter with Jesus…just like I want to have with my wife.

But after Jesus went to Heaven he still left us with ways to have a physical encounter with him through stuff; what are those ways? Sacraments? Yes, genius! Tell us the stuff. Water? Yes in…baptism. Yes, more stuff please. Bread & wine? Yes. How about confession? Is the priest the stuff? Yes, good. So we are spirit’n'stuff; Jesus is also…spirit’n'stuff; yes, and Sacraments are…spirit’n'stuff. Yes, all similar but not exactly the same. We’ll learn more about this stuff business later this year.”

Class finished with a discussion of Jairus’ daughter and the Woman with a Hemorrhage. You may notice that in answering a question on the fly, I conflated the Samaritan woman with the Canaanite woman. I’ll sort that out next week.

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Dog Miracles

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Remind me please, who’s this? A king! Yeah, which one? Herod! Try again. David! No, good guess. Solomon! Yes…who’s this queen…she was taking a bath- Bathsheba! Yes- Solomon’s wife? No, his Mom! Yes, this sort of queen is called…she’s his mom…Queen Mother! Yes. Who’s this? The guy who wanted something!
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The Jan 11, 2012 class ran from Jesus completing 40 days in the desert through the Healing of the Paralytic. A few points:
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1. I attended a Rick Santorum event last weekend. I described what his advance team did to prepare the way for him, and compared their work to John the Baptist’s. Like John, once Santorum arrived, the advance team faded into the background. This leads into John 1:35 “The next day again John was standing with two of his disciples; 36 and he looked at Jesus as he walked, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” 37 The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus.” John is letting go of his followers and directing them to Jesus.

Then from John 3: “Jesus and his disciples went into the land of Judea; there he remained with them and baptized. 23 John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim, because there was much water there; and people came and were baptized.”  John continues to baptize, and Jesus baptizes in the company of his disciples.

“25 Now a discussion arose between John’s disciples and a Jew over purifying. 26 And they came to John, and said to him, “Rabbi, he who was with you beyond the Jordan, to whom you bore witness, here he is, baptizing, and all are going to him.”  Why is John ok with his ministry winding down?

“27 John answered, “I am not the Christ/ Anointed/ Mashiah, but I have been sent before him.” I get three volunteers up to the front, and we act this next bit out as I read, “29 He who has the bride is the bridegroom; the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice; therefore this joy of mine is now full.” Once the best man has given the groom the ring, he’s done, and all attention goes to the wedding couple. The best man is ok with that.

“30 He must increase, but I must decrease.” Remember, the daylight decreases after John’s birthday on June 24; and daylight increases after Jesus’ birthday on December 25. Are those really their birthdays? I think so; if not, they are very close. Calendars aren’t perfect. But I believe God coordinated their birthdays with the natural cycle of the Sun. You know: we say Jesus is the Light of the World, like…the Sun! Yes.

A mere two paragraphs later in John 4: “Now when the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John, although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples, he left Judea and departed again to Galilee.”  A big deal in our class, this passage shows that Jesus has already stopped baptizing. He has handed that authority over to his disciples. That is, Jesus is starting to set up his Church. If you want Christ’s baptism, you get it through his intermediaries.

2.  The kids explain the top picture and the idea of intercession, which leads into the Wedding at Cana. They can tell the whole story and I just have to direct the discussion and read only a couple of lines from John 2. I add a J(esus) & M(ary) over Solomon and Bathsheba. The kids explain how both Mary and Bathsheba interceded; but like all intercessors they didn’t demand, they just asked. We connect the abundance of wine to the abundance of Peter’s catch after he meets Jesus.

Then I read, “Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now,” and the kids figure out the wine had alcohol in it (In the Bible Belt this datum matters).

And, “This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him.” Oh well, even a dog could taste and see that water went in and wine came out. People will always believe what they see with their own two eyes (well, most of the time). People love visible miracles…they don’t require much faith.

3. Between John the Baptist making a fuss over him, and this wine miracle, people are getting fired-up about Jesus. He visits the synagogue at Nazareth (Luke 4), and reads from Isaiah; then: “Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” The men puff up with pride at the local boy made good: “And all spoke well of him, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth; and they said, “Is not this Joseph’s son?” Good times a-comin’ for the Sons of Abraham! But I read this bit: “I tell you, there were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, when there came a great famine over all the land; and Elijah was sent to none of them but only to Zarephath, in the land of Sidon, to a woman who was a widow. And there were many lepers in Israel in the time of the prophet Elisha; and none of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian.” The kids remind me that both the widow and Naaman were pagans who did God’s will. Jesus means that being a Son of Abraham is no guarantee of receiving God’s blessings: in fact, sometimes the whole lot of Chosen People are left out. Maybe everyone in the synagogue should get busy repenting and doing good works as John the Baptist told the know-it-alls at the Jordan.

Then, “When they heard this, all in the synagogue were filled with wrath. And they rose up and put him out of the city, and led him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw him down headlong. But passing through the midst of them he went away.” Jesus has barely started his ministry and his own people find him so aggravating that one minute everybody loves Jesus, and the next minute they are ready to kill him. As he said, “no prophet is acceptable in his own country.” Just like Elijah, Jeremiah, and Isaiah, he says things people don’t want to hear. It’s a dangerous habit.

4. With five volunteers we act out the Healing of the Paralytic. This story is thematically very dense, but one thread that’s emphasized is that the Paralytic’s friends intercede for his healing. Also, Jesus pairs a dog miracle, one that even a dog can perceive (Imagine if the paralytic had a dog all these years…he’d freak out when his master started walking around.) with an invisible miracle, forgiving sin. If the crowd sees Jesus do A, can they take on faith he also did B? Apparently so.

Class ends two minutes late. If the kids are engaged in the material they won’t look at the clock.

Some observations:

Reading aloud is done in short bits, and each bit is always followed by questions and discussion.

Old info illuminates new info. Secular info illuminates religious info.

Old Testament bits such as Zarephath and Naaman have to be taught earlier so the kids can figure out the point of what Jesus is saying when he refers to them now.

Physical variety: reading, questions, answers, discussion, acting, drawing.

No dead time.

P.S. Here’s a terrific post by a priest on Catechesis.

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Pitchers 7, Res Ipsa 9: John da Baptis’

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John was clothed with camel’s hair, had a leather girdle around his waist, and ate locusts and wild honey.

Drawing from Jan 4, 2012 class; comments limited to what’s on the board.

1. Most of our New Testament classes are about the Gospels, but I treat them collectively, not separately. I mention to the kids that Matthew, Mark and Luke’s Gospels have a common point of view (syn-optic); and John’s is different.

2. Sorting out the conceptions and births of John the Baptist and Jesus.

3. After Jesus’ birth, a “messenger of the Lord” tells Joseph to flee to Egypt. A quick map shows the Med, Jerusalem, the Tigris & Euphrates, the Nile, and the city founded by that Greek guy…Alexander! Jesus and his family may have lived among Alexandria’s large Jewish community.

4. The round calendar leads into discussion of art handouts depicting the Annunciation and the Platytera. This is a basic Platytera with two houseflies seraphim in attendance.

5. Explaining the Greek abbreviation for Mother of God.

6. The calendar leads to a quick review of John the Baptist’s conception, and later presentation at the Temple.

7. John the Baptist’s ministry. Upper right shows John baptizing Jesus while the Holy Spirit hovers, and the Father riffs on Isaiah: the Trinity.

8. John tells the Pharisees and Levites who come to quiz him, “Bear fruit that befits repentance, and do not presume to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father’; for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham. Even now the axe is laid to the root of the trees; every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.” That is, being one of the Chosen People isn’t enough; each believer must also bear good fruit, which means…doing good stuff! Yes, as the Bible would say, doing good works.”

9. A couple of the Spanish-speakers explain a Quinceañera; I extend that concept to young women who are debutantes. I compare these coming-out events to Jesus’ debut at the Jordan river: he will now be a much-talked-about public figure for the next three years.

Audio from the Flight to Egypt to John at the Jordan.

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