Seeking a Relationship

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In Melanie Bettinelli’s new posting series Seeking Curriculum for First Communion Preparation and Religious Education? she addresses (what I believe) to be the ultimate problem in our Catholic religious education programs:

 “I don’t think books are the mainstay of my religious education program. And actually, to drive this point home, I want to eschew the phrase ‘religious education’ because I think what I do is much more formation than education. What we are doing is living a Catholic life. Our faith is not merely an academic subject to be studied like math or history or literature, it’s a relationship to be lived in our daily life.”

I write more as a Catholic wife/mother than I do as a Catholic D.R.E.

Books are necessary tools. Books are wonderful. Books give us information, wisdom, truth, thoughts, ideas, and a peek inside the minds of great men, women, and saints. They are necessary.

But religious training in a faith we hold near and dear is more about formation than education.

Children will not desire to learn more about something they do not love.

Children will not care about something they do not live.

And, while religion might indeed be something we can teach the youth, a life of faith ultimately begins with a relationship between a child and his Creator.

It must!

Yet so many children enter our hallways and classrooms without that primal introduction and relationship already established.

Instead, they are led into our hallways and classrooms for one hour a week (a day if in Catholic schools) and handed a book.

Most of the time there is a teacher and a book standing in the way of the Teacher and the Book.

Perhaps if we could only make ourselves step out of the way and allow the child to meet and get to know this Creator on a personal level; we’d have more success with our religious education training.

I’m anxious to hear what more Melanie tells us in her series: Seeking Curriculum for First Communion and Religious Education.

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Lenten Warm-up for Catechists & Other Christians

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Last summer I wrote a short column here that you might think of as “A Faith Formation Examination of Conscience.”  In it we surveyed the four ways of loving God mentioned in the Great Commandment, and looked at how each might make its appearance in your religious education class.

In preparation for a retreat being held today — the Feast of the Chair of St. Peter the Apostle — I put together a retreat workbook that develops those themes in much greater detail.  There are options within the workbook for using the retreat for personal discernment, for evaluating the condition of any ministry or apostolate, or for using the retreat to think about how your religious education program is coming along.

I’ve put a link to this little homegrown retreat up on my personal website, and you’re welcome to take a look, and pass it along.

Here’s the page with the link: http://jenniferfitz.wordpress.com/downloads/retreat-lord-you-know-i-love-you/

And here’s the direct link to the PDF file itself: http://jenniferfitz.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/retreat-workbook.pdf

Enjoy!

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Not the Fist, the Fingers

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  This article is at best indirectly catechetical. I post it to encourage catechists not to be limited by the existing Religious Ed system in which they find themselves. This book may graciously remind us that substantial catechesis-evangelization is not primarily achieved via the textbook, the syllabus, room layouts, games, crafts, movies, or teaching methods. It comes from the personal, individual witness of the catechist.

  I was given a review copy of Catholic Laity in the Mission of the Church: Living Out Your Lay Vocation by Russell Shaw. I looked at the cover: a blob of faceless people dressed the same, doing no-skill-no-brains heavy lifting, participating serf-like in yet another Hidebound Church Ritual. As my mother-in-law says: Oh Dear. I anticipated the usual disembodied dull platitudes and tiresome restatements of the obvious. Fortunately I read the book anyway, and was pleasantly surprised. I thought it was the opposite of the cover. It’s about each lay person as a uniquely-gifted individual, not all of us en masse.
  The book kicks off with a history of the laity, the clergy, and their relationship, from Acts of the Apostles to the end of the 19th century. Huh- I didn’t even know the laity had a history. Turns out we do, and it bears directly on what our roles may be today. Moving on to the 20th century, you’ll be familiar with Catholic Action, the Catholic Worker movement, and Opus Dei. They’re included not so much to explain what they are, but to show how they fit into a 2000-year-old stream of non-clergy doing their own thing. I like that.
  Vatican 2 is treated at length, both in its specific attention to encouraging the laity to Get Out There Without Waitin’ for Faddah an’ Sistah t’Tell Ya What t’Do; and the difference between what V2 asked the laity to do, and what the laity’s actually done so far. Apparently lay Catholics are still too much beholden to the clergy, which I understand completely, having been born in 1957. It wasn’t that the Church didn’t say, “Y’all lay folks got your own charisms, go use ‘em.” It did. But the people were thinking in terms of doing stuff within the established system, and following the initiatives of that system; and the Church didn’t argue. Even today the typical Catholic has yet to jump on the chance to figure out his or her unique gifts, and then act on them without necessarily seeking the Church’s approval, guidance, or control. But that was still V2′s message.
  So what’s the problem? We could rattle off a few, but I would not have included clericalism among them. You know, what Pope Francis talks about every Tuesday. Shaw writes: “Clericalism….assumes that clerics not only are, but are meant to be the active, dominant elite in the Church, and lay people the passive, subservient mass.” Careful attention is given to clericalism; how it curbs the laity’s initiative and sense of responsibility; and how to minimize its effects. (Shaw wrote this book in 2005. Francis must have read it.)
  That’s the first half of the book, thematically if not physically. The second half discusses how the laity can get on with it:
1. Taking the idea of lay vocation seriously. That is, every lay person is called by God to Do Something, no less than Faddah or Sistah. God called you. Yes, you. Get on with it.
2. Figuring out your vocation and the charisms you received at Confirmation. So you can get on with it.
3. Taking responsibility for the Church.
4. Evangelizing the World wherever you find yourself. Get on with it. You could die tomorrow. OK, that’s me talking, not the book, but a sense of urgency is a good thing.
  If you’re already on the New Evangelization Express, doing the Intentional Disciple Thing, you probably don’t need to read this book. But you’ll profit from its broad and deep scope if you do read it. If you’re on the fence, or behind the fence, then yes, you need to read this book.
  Get fired up about Jesus and His Church.
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Marriage Only Has Meaning if It’s a Lifelong Commitment

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Adriana Cohen at the Boston Herald surveys all the heartbreak in the world, and proposes that marriage licenses be issued for ten years, renewable.  This is my reply.  Prayers for a blessed Valentine’s Day, Adriana.

 

Dear Adriana,

This past weekend my husband and I lay in bed together, the lights dim, the room quiet, his head against my side. And he was crying. We were in the emergency room observation ward. He’d stopped in to check on me in between getting groceries, cleaning the house, and taking care of the kids. Like most men, when there’s a task in front of him, he’s good at setting aside his emotions and doing what needs to be done. But like any decent man, he also loves his wife dearly.

He’d die for me, I’m sure of it.

Are we extraordinary? No. We’re not. We’re a man and a woman who really liked each other, and so we got married.

If we’d gotten married under your ten-year-plan, I’m sure we’d have been married ten years and called it quits. We went through some difficult times at about the four-year mark, and if we hadn’t both been committed to lifelong marriage, we would have given it up then. I recall year twelve wasn’t so easy either. Frankly year seventeen or so is when we finally worked through a few of those problems that would have been the end of our marriage if only we’d believed in ending marriages.

The very fact that we knew we had to stay together is the reason our marriage is so beautiful and intimate. It’s the reason our children have happy parents who love one another, and do their best to create a joyful, peaceful home.

This is what marriage is. It’s not a hobby that you take up for a bit and then leave off when it gets old. It’s not a business partnership, or even an ordinary friendship. And even though we did a bunch of dumb stuff when we were young, the very fact that we both knew marriage ought to be lifelong meant that we worked pretty hard at choosing a spouse we’d want to be with lifelong.

Can you know the future? No, you can’t. Can you be utterly deceived by a sociopath in courtly disguise? Yes, you can. Bad things, terrible things, can happen when you live dangerously. Marriage is not about living cautiously. It’s about discerning carefully, and then throwing yourself in whole heartedly.

You hold hands and jump over the ledge together, and there’s no going back. It’s not a vacation, it’s a lifelong quest.

I’m sorry that you are so afraid of marriage. I’m sorry that someone’s given you the idea that all you can have is a very nice boyfriend. I’m sorry you don’t think it’s possible that a man could love you so much that he’d give anything – anything – to have just one more day with you.

But you really are that lovable.

Don’t sell yourself short.

Jennifer.

 

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Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, Cornelius

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hinge

Each year in Wednesday Night Sunday School we spend a few minutes on the fun parts of Isaiah 22. I play the role of King Hezekiah and two volunteers play Shebna and Eliakim. When we get to Matthew 16 a couple of months later, we recall Isaiah 22. Then when we discuss the Mass in April, the kids learn that Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, Cornelius were some of the popes that succeeded Peter. But I have never connected those guys to either Isaiah 22 or Matthew 16. I want all learning to be integrated with other learning, and this was a weak point in that respect. But this year is different, and better.

This year we did our Eliakim skit as usual in November. Then last Wednesday I treated Matt 16 like so:

I got two volunteers to come up and be Shebna and Eliakim. We did a quick refresher on Is 22. The kids remember only Eliakim’s name, but that’s fine. I care about the story and why it matters. They remember it just fine. We quickly re-enact it. Corrupt Shebna sits down. Now we cover Matt 16. I read bits from the chapter, and the kids figure out I’m now Jesus and the other actor is now Peter. We act out the keys again, and draw parallels between the two Kings and their Prime Ministers. The rest of the class play the 11 other apostles. They figure out the significance of Jesus borrowing from Isaiah.

Then I get five more boys to come up and stand in a row next to Peter. I stand behind them with my invisible keys. Peter dies and falls to the floor. The kids tell me to pass the keys to the next boy, he’ll be the next pope. As each pope dies and falls to the floor, the King of Heaven gives the keys to the next boy. At the end they’re all dead. I get them all to stand back up.

“Y’all tell me who these people are. Umm…they’re the first popes! Yes! Who’s the first one? Peter! Yes, that was easy. Who’s next? No guesses, that’s OK, he’s Linus. Linus, your name is...Linus! Yes, ya too smart, Linus! And these other popes are Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, and Cornelius. Do those names sound familiar to anyone? Yes! Where do you know Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, and Cornelius from? Umm….I don’t remember. That’s OK, we’ll find out in April.”

“Who’s the pope now? Francis! Yes. He’s the 266th pope. Who was before him? B…Benedict! Yes, good. Is Benedict dead? No, I think he just stopped being pope. Yes. That’s very unusual, for a pope to retire. Trick question: in the Isaiah story, who picked Eliakim, the new prime minister? The King! Yes, Heze…Hezekiah! Yes. And who picked Peter? Jesus! Yes. Who is...the King! Yes. Did Benedict pick Francis to succeed him? No the other people did. Who exactly? Bishops? Well, sort of. They all wear red…like a bird…that is red...cardinals! Yes, a small group of bishops called cardinals. The bird is named after the men. Cardinal means hinge in Latin. Y’all remember we talked about hinges in December. For example, doors hang on, depend on, hinges. So to say something is cardinal, like a cardinal rule, means it’s important like a hinge because other things depend on it, hang on it. But the cardinals don’t just pick who they like for pope…remind me who picked the first pope. Jesus. Yes, so who still picks them? Umm…Jesus? Yes, good job! The King still has the power to pick his key-man. But Jesus put the cardinals in charge of making his pick. That’s why the cardinals all pray for the Holy Spirit to guide them in making the right choice.”

It only takes a few minutes to knit this together. And it prepares the children to jump all over Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, and Cornelius when those names pop up in our Mass classes in April.

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What Place for Parents in Religious Education?

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Joanne McPortland, no stranger to religious education, writes here about “What’s Wrong with Religious Education? Everything.” I don’t agree with all her assertions, but she circles in on a point I’ve been meaning to address: Where are the parents?

I love teaching the Catholic faith, and I’ll teach anyone, anytime, anywhere.  I’ve spent a lot of hours of my life teaching kids, and I don’t for a moment think we ought to drop children’s faith formation.  But if I found myself facing one of those lunch-family and Bibletable no-win scenarios — “Would you rather be eaten by a tiger or crushed by an elephant?” — only it was, “Would you rather the parish teach only children or only adults?” I know what my answer would be: Adults.

Why?  Very simply: Parents are responsible for teaching their children.  Everything.  And the faith is not so difficult for parents to teach.  I would go so far as to hazard that there are very, very few parents who are truly unable to teach their children the Catholic faith.

So why does no one come to adult faith formation?  Well, for one thing, there’s the logistical problem.  To get parents in the room, you have to offer:

  • The course the parent actually needs
  • Taught by a competent teacher
  • At a time the parent can attend
  • In a place the parent can attend
  • With all the necessary childcare and eldercare the parent needs in order to attend.

This is why those 10 minutes in the Sunday homily are so important — it is, physically speaking, one of the most sure-hit combinations for reaching practicing Catholic adults.  (And likewise, why that four-hymn sandwich should be chosen carefully — precious minutes of catechesis there, if you pick well.)

But allow me to propose a more serious underlying cause than simple logistics, or habit, or poor priorities: We treat parents like babies.

You’re Responsible for This, Let Me Do It For You

Imagine you are a parent who says to your child, “It’s your job to clean your room, pack your lunch, and get your homework done.” And then, because you are a good parent, you make thorough preparations to help the child accomplish those goals.

What might that look like?  You might organize the child’s routine so that there was adequate time for completing each task.  You might gently steer your child away from distractions.  You might take time to help your child organize his room so it’s easy to clean.  You might teach the child how to make a PB&J sandwich neatly.  You might help the child make a list of his homework assignments, and periodically check in to see if he had any questions.

But you would not invite the child in for a semi-annual meeting in which you announced the child had these responsibilities, and therefore every Wednesday night from 7:00-8:30 you’d be cleaning his room, packing his lunch, and doing his homework, just in case he didn’t get around to it.  Imagine the conversation:

You have a responsibility for keeping your room clean, dear.  Unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll actually do it, and even if you tried you’d probably not do it very well.  So from now on, I want you to check with me once a week, and make sure I’m doing it for you.

And if you don’t keep your room clean the other six days of the week, that makes you very naughty, and I’ll tell everyone how naughty you are, and how I have to do everything for you.  But since I love you, and it’s very important that you learn to clean your own room, I’ll continue to do it for you every week.  Indefinitely.

This is the state of modern religious education. This is why Joanne McPortland’s modest proposal is so shocking: The thought of leaving parents to instruct their own children is unthinkable.

But we catechists know very well, since we’ve learned our catechism, that parents have the primary responsibility for educating their children in the faith.

Helping the Hapless

Where does that leave us?  We certainly have an obligation to help the widow and the orphan, and that means stepping in and filling the gap when parents are truly unable to educate their children in the faith.  Likewise, I’ve seen first hand the benefits of asking other adults to assist me in educating my children.  I don’t hesitate to send my daughter to an expert violinist for violin lessons, and I absolutely love being able to let her learn the faith from other adults in our community as well.

In the case of catechesis, it’s not because I can’t do it myself.  I do it myself every day of the week.  I do it because it is beneficial for my children to spend time learning from others who share our faith.  There is a very important role for catechists in the lives of the children of our parishes.

But that extra help from others should be just that: Extra help.  A little bonus.  A bolstering of what’s being taught at home.

The only way that our parish religious education programs can serve that purpose is if the children are, in fact, learning the faith at home.

That means we need to equip parents to truly be the primary educators of their children.

Don’t Mock Me, Teach Me

If I had dollar for every time I heard a catechist say, “The parents just don’t care!” I could buy a whole lotta YOUCATs.  But the thing is, it usually ends there.  We sit at our catechist luncheons telling stories about pathetic parents . . . and expect the parents to soak up all that love and respect we’re showing them (not!), and want to come seek us out for help?

Imagine you’re a nervous parent.  You’ve just shown up at church with your second-grader.  You haven’t been to confession in twenty years.  You usually forget to go to Mass. When you do go to Mass, you’re a little lost, and you really couldn’t say exactly what’s happening there.  You aren’t really sure what’s in the Bible, but you’re pretty sure it’s very good but very hard to understand.  But you want your child to receive the sacraments, so you turn out for the parent meeting.  And get a lecture.

Parents don’t need to be reminded how little they know. They need their questions answered.  They need someone to take them seriously.  To patiently, and yes, sometimes firmly, teach them how to be that responsible parent who knows the faith and passes it on.  Parents need you not to give up on them the seventh, or the seventy-seventh, time they goof it up.  Don’t wipe your hands of parents and announce, “I’ll do it all for you then!”  Keep going.  Keep teaching.  The grown-ups are just as hungry for Jesus as the children are.

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Pitchers 19

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22jan2014b

Second Board, January 22, 2014

1. Loaves & Fishes just like in prior years. Jesus gives thanks to the Father and effects a food miracle. Grumpy apostles mediate between Jesus and the people.

2. Plan of church shows same relationships: Father>Jesus>food miracle>ministers>people.

3. Triangle shows divine power flows through Jesus; then it’s mediated through a small group of authorized agents to everyone else. It’s a lateral hierarchy; but hierarchies are usually laid out vertically. So…

4. Triangle rotates to become Mount Sinai. (The kids already know how the Old Covenant works.) We see the same pattern in blue as described in Exodus: Israelites at the bottom, Levites halfway up, Moses in the Shekhinah cloud at the top connecting with YHWH on behalf of the others.

5. Same hierarchical pattern is fulfilled and perfected in the Church in green: the faithful, the ministerial priesthood, Jesus at the top connects to the Father per Hebrews & Revelation.

It’d be virtually impossible to discuss these connections with 12-year-olds with words alone. But with a few pictures, the kids don’t just learn, they think and draw conclusions.

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Get Out There

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Acting it out with Q&A at OLR’s Youth Retreat last September:
.

The paralytic’s friends have just plopped him in front of Jesus (yes, they literally carried him in). Even though there’s not a lot of action in this impromptu skit, there’s way more audience engagement and participation, simply because it’s live and physical. The difference between teaching this story from behind a lectern and getting down on the ground with a volunteer is all the difference in the world.

Photo by OLR Youthgroup maestro Mikael McKinney
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Register Now for Online Marriage Enrichment Retreats!!

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Sacred Heart Immaculate Heart

Looking for ways to make your marriage stronger?

Join me this February 3, 4, 10, or 11 in an online marriage enrichment retreat. Spend an hour or two, just in time for Valentine’s Day, to make your marriage stronger! Similar to an interactive webinar, the retreat offers talks illustrated by sacred artwork with a background of Gregorian chant.

If you’ve never attended an online retreat before, don’t worry — the technology is easy. All you need is high-speed Internet and speakers for your computer. You can ask and answer questions simply by typing in a chatbox. But if you wish, you can purchase low-cost earbuds with a computer mike and speak directly with me and the other participants. You’ll receive a link by email to enter the online environment and a friendly tech will help you get used to all the features.

You can participate as an individual or a couple, during the early afternoon or in the evening — whatever works for you. And if you can’t join live, you’ll have access to the recorded session through a link we’ll send you. Watch it just like you’d watch an online video.

We’ll have sessions on two different topics and would love to see you at both. To register for either session, click here. For more info on the great folks producing this retreat, click here and here.

I. Life-giving Unity: Becoming One with Your Spouse and Your Children

The marital relationship is the bedrock of any family. Reignite your appreciation for your spouse, and let your renewed unity strengthen your relationship with your children as well. Learn how to communicate better, pray more together, and grow closer to God together.

Mid-day Session: Monday, Feb. 3, at 12:30-1:30 pm EST
Evening Session: Tuesday, Feb. 4, at 7:30-8:30 pm EST

II. Holy Stewards: Making the Most of Your Time and Your Money

We all struggle to find enough time for work, family, and God. We might also sometimes let worries over money and professional advancement affect our marital relationship. Maintaining a good balance is difficult, but not impossible. Explore useful ways to make the most of what you have.

Mid-day Session: Monday, Feb. 10, at 12:30-1:30 pm EST
Evening Session: Tuesday, Feb. 11, at 7:30-8:30 pm EST

Cost: $ 10 for one session, $15 for both.

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Class Stuff

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notecard1
you must have a detailed lesson plan

Some stuff about the last couple of Catechism classes:

We finished the Jan. 8 class by spending about 20 minutes on the Healing of the Paralytic: acting, drawing, discussion, Bible-reading, the usual. This week among other things, we covered Jesus healing a man’s withered arm on the Sabbath; a leper; Jairus’ daughter; the woman with a hemorrhage; and the centurion’s servant. Every story involved a little skit, with kids obliged to think on their feet about why the characters acted as they did, and draw conclusions. We ended with Jesus blessing the little kids, which sets the stage for next week’s Loaves and Fishes miracle.

But these healing stories aren’t just treated as disconnected snippets of Jesus Is So Nice. Like all Bible stories, they are explicitly connected to Catholic themes, both individually and also as a group. From the Paralytic to the Centurion, I emphasized these concepts:

1. Having a physical encounter with Jesus is the normal way to get a miracle. Nobody just stays home and prays if it’s at all possible to engage Jesus both spiritually and physically. People will make a hole in a roof if that’s what it takes. Nobody ever got a miracle in the NT without having a physical encounter with Jesus or one of his authorized agents.

2. Having a physical encounter involves an act of faith which anyone can see. That is, by what people do their faith can be seen.

3. Jesus will do someone a favor if someone else acts in faith on their behalf. That’s intercession, and it still works.

4. Jesus can work a long-distance miracle; but the miracle is still initiated though a physical encounter.

5. Jesus can work miracles through physical stuff just like the Moses and Elijah, as when the woman grabbed his tassel: boom! Healed! Who touched me?

6. Faith by itself is good; faith in action is better. We comprise a body and a soul; so our bodies acting in harmony with our souls just makes sense. If ya ain’t doin’ ya prob’ly ain’t believin’ either.

7. Jesus has a body and a soul, too. That’s why everyone was so excited: to be able to access God physically was a big deal.

8. It’s still the norm to have a physical encounter with Jesus. That’s what sacraments are for, especially the Eucharist and Confession. Eating God is a big deal. But just like the centurion, you have to believe without seeing.

9. Healing physical sickness matters; but healing spiritual sickness matters more.

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