About Christine Capolino

Christine Capolino loves her life as a homeschooling Mom! She credits her husband, Paul, with encouraging her to orchestrate their children’s education. Together, they hope to continue fostering a love of lifelong learning along their journey. Christine grew up in Queens and currently resides on Long Island with her husband and their two lively, lovable boys, who continually color their lives! A teacher for a dozen years before becoming a Mom, Chris holds a B.S. in Education and an M.S. in Reading Disabilities from St. John’s University. She is thrilled to be a contributing writer to "Mater et magistra" magazine and to www.catholicmom.com Several of her essays and articles may be found at www.catholicmediareview.blogspot.com; Bezalel Books' Stories for a Homeschool Heart; and Joseph Karl's God Moments 2, due to be released in Spring of 2011. She is honored to be part of Amazing Catechists!

The View from Our Cabin

The lake. Our lake.

The lake that captures western sun and turns glassy waters pink like salmon as day draws dusky. That captures eastern sky with new day’s brightness, flourishing crystal waters as an orange never-used crayon. That dawns with possibility and newness. Each day, as if untouched.

The lake that sees summertime memory making. Whose permanence is landscape to our memories. The backdrop for so little, yet so much:  Horse shoe clinks. Badminton swishes. Dock jumping. Fledging friendships begun over sand castle architecture. Catching first fish. Rowing first boats. Grilling simple meals.

And yes, even the mosquito bites, the sunburns, the poison ivy, the late afternoon, sans-nap toddler, tantrum-ing and rife with wriggling, wet sandy bathing suit.

For memories, like life, we find, even here in this perfect haven, are punctuated with the good, the bad. Those light, airy, happy and those etched with tinges of sadness or regret. Because our yesterday and our today are not all sunshine and unicorns. Nor will our tomorrow be.

The lake that mirrors staggering old growth pines from island to shore. Alone. Unrippled. Undisturbed. Perfect. We dub it Tom Sawyer Island, our island in lake’s middle.

And even in the weeds, beauty. Rooted dozens of feet below surface in muddy, silty lake bottom. Lily – pad clustered flowers. Delicate mauves and lucent yellows. Pinks, radiant; greens, lush. Color brimming as we approach and admire up close in screeching, clunky rowboat. God’s gift to us, these nature’s decorations. These petals curving skyward. Giving homage, it seems, to the Lord. To the Author of creation.

And the summer sounds, the-unnoticeable-elsewhere-yet-intensified-here soundtrack of the lake. Whose continuous beat if set to metronome, would not falter:

Canoe and paddler rhythmically slicing glassy waters. A widening V disappearing, reappearing.

The insistent cicadas. Their shrill throbbing, near to hysteria, grabbing us, pressing into our consciousness, forcing us to notice. Louder, thicker. An awakening to the ever presence of God’s creatures. Even the insects we deem unappealing. These creatures, at the lake, our lake.

And above, azure skies hold chunky, ragged-edged clouds of pure white. Sailing, racing almost. Casting silhouettes of pine, of birch, of long necked Canada geese ashore.

Our lake is storybook. A storybook that is real. As real to us as deadlines, as commitments, as taxes, as ever present life, as eventual death.  And so, we create intermission in our lives, a schedule-less time out to touch this realness and live the lake’s story. Summer after summer.

With those who matter most. Living what matters most.

Even on days not idyllic, not picture perfect. When storms threaten and drizzle lingers. Days whose dawns hold sticky grey-ness and a promise of hazy dullness ahead. Whose afternoons hold a harsh word for which we eventually ask forgiveness or offer forgiveness. On these days too, especially on these days, it is a place where eternity is glimpsed.

A place whose stories will be lived and relived in many times and in many places: Southward on Interstate 87 as we wind homeward on the Saturday bookending our week.

On a Tuesday evening two years from now after baseball practice, over a spicy chili and crusty Italian bread dinner.

Over our Thanksgiving table a half dozen years from now, pumpkin pie and simmering cider fragrances wafting throughout dining room.

Or Christmas Eve a decade from now, tree adorned and memory-laden ornaments, pulled from cushioned boxes, admired once again, as my boys settle into home after an autumn away at college.

During tuxedo fittings for one son’s upcoming nuptials, two decades in the future. One will be groom; one, best man.

And perhaps as their own children, the same ages they are now, trick or treat together, flit around playgrounds together; perhaps even swim to our island or cast fishing lines together. On the lake. Our lake.

For we’ve found that our lake is the closest place to Heaven there is on Earth.

Where do Priests Come From? by Elizabeth Ficocelli

Illustrated by Shannon Wirrenga

Review by Christine Capolino

This past weekend, my cute, sweet, compassionate, blink-and-she’s-grown-up niece married her beau, a young gentleman who is truly her kind, caring complement, in a fairy tale setting at the foothills of the Catskills. What was so remarkable though, about their nuptials was not so much the stunning, pearl-encrusted, ivory gown. Not the breath taking views of the sun sinking into the Hudson from the reception venue, periwinkle sky laced with chunky marshmallow clouds just narrowly escaping Hurricane Earl’s predicted drama. Not the impeccable toasts, sometimes bittersweet, sometimes humorous, presented by maid of honor, best man and father of the bride. Not even the fact that the couple married in St. Martin’s church where the bride’s family has decades of history and where the bride was conferred all of her sacraments, is cause for incredulity of the event. Oh, these combined to make an extraordinary and memorable day for the couple and all guests, without question.

What made this wedding remarkable indeed, is the fact that the bride and groom secured the catering hall, the florist, the gown, the limo service and the photographer almost two years in advance, as they chose to delay their nuptials, scheduling their wedding day around the celebrant. The Priest! Even more extraordinary? The celebrant is a friend of the couple, from The College of the Holy Cross, who, after receiving the call to priesthood, continued to the seminary and received the Sacrament of Holy Orders just months ago.

Imagine the added graces of receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony at a Mass officiated by your friend, who answers God’s call to a vocation? Imagine. That was truly the beauty of this couple’s marriage vows. Beauty that each congregant felt, due to the tenor of personal touches brought by this man of God to the Mass. Yes, undeniably. Additionally, beauty in our collective witness to the sheer power of vocation. Particularly during these many recent, troubling years for our Church. It was revealed to me in a very real way, as the bride’s aunt and godmother, that individually and collectively, WE are the Church. And we are learning to heal and move forward.

I felt it a great privilege to be asked to review Bezalel Books’ new children’s title, Where Do Priests Come From?   Practical and informative, Elizabeth Ficocelli’s flowing text and Shannon Wirrenga’s engaging illustrations offer a delightfully inside journey from the steps a boy may take as he is called to a vocation, to the details of his years as a seminarian and finally, to his ordination.

I love how Mrs. Ficocelli introduces the notion of vocation as one of many options that boys may consider, as in “They may have dreamed of becoming an astronaut, a doctor or a fire fighter. But somewhere along the way, these young boys also thought about being a priest.” Mrs. Ficocelli clearly plants seeds of vocation as a life option among all the lofty dreams that boys enjoy, when she states that “these boys listen to God’s voice in their hearts” to discern their calling and yet sometimes the boy may be “all grown up” before considering the priesthood.

Mrs. Ficocelli demystifies a seminarian’s training by illustrating his time spent as a lector, an acolyte and a deacon before ordination. Also clearly explained is a priest’s vows of celibacy, as the freedom to serve God’s people; obedience, as the  promise to do God’s will and follow the Church’s teaching; poverty, as the living of a simple life with other priests.

Where Do Priests Come From?  contains much information regarding the type of work a priest may do, how a priest enjoys leisure time and which order he may choose to enter. Additionally, a glossary of words key to the understanding of the book’s message is included.

The author continues to make the priesthood real to children, toward the conclusion of her book, by stating that “Because a priest is still a man, he goes to confession to be strengthened.” This gave me pause to remember when my younger son received the Sacrament of Reconciliation in a community service at our church, just last winter.  He was floored to witness his favorite parish priest, with whom he chats incessantly at every opportunity about all things Jesus and soccer, receiving the sacrament himself!  What an awesome sight for a child to witness….. for any Catholic…… for any individual. As the author tells us, a priest is “a man who makes Jesus real to others, through word, example, and the sacraments.” What a clear, simple, and yet, earth-shattering message for the readers of this picture book. And couldn’t we all use more of God’s graces in our daily lives as well?

To place an order for Where Do Priests Come From?, please visit  the publisher at www.bezalelbooks.com or phone  (248) 917-3865. To order for vocations awareness programs, or for use in religious education and CCD classes, please contact the publisher for bulk rates.

I Like Being Catholic

“Me too.” Words simply stated by my nine year old and its response by his seven year old brother as we prepare for any of our family centered Advent/Christmas rituals. These may be as simple as the lighting of our now stubby pink and lavender wreath candles, wherein my oldest gets to read from the Gospel of St Luke for our prayer time. Or the daily sharing of one of the warm, inspiring titles featured in Cay Gibson’s Christmas Mosaic. (Available at www.amazon.com). Or these words may be heard during the tumble out the door to Sunday Mass, where my oldest will be serving, or possibly during the planning, painting, crafting, baking and wrapping of handmade ornaments and other goodies for those special to them.

Heartwarming thought? Definitely. A little daunting as to how to keep up the momentum and enthusiasm though. Maintain the daily Bible reading. Put “Religion” on the school schedule right up there next to Math, English and Geography. Keep up involvement in parish activities. Infuse faith, Church history and saints’ biographies into our history reading.

How wonderful it is then, when the rituals of Catholicism become so familiar to our kids that they are practiced unrealizing? Excitement about committing daily prayers to memory in Latin, fingering their rosary beads most mornings, or requesting a trip to the religious goods store to buy a special birthday gift for a friend… These all become common practice when we daily ride the wave of Christianity and literally practice our faith.

Additionally, as parents and teachers, we are all aware of the influence with which God has entrusted us. This becomes even more glaringly evident when, for example, our kids ask, “What are you reading?” as they stumble into the bedroom for their nightly story time, and spot an unrecognizable book perched open on the bed amid the laundry and other family effects that have yet to be dealt with that evening. The response, Immaculee Ilibagiza’s Left to Tell, leads to a deep discussion and research on the horrors of the Rwandan holocaust and the Blessed Mother’s apparitions in Kibeho. For more information and enlightenment, please visit www.immaculee.com.

The ways in which to connect our faith to our families’ daily lives during any liturgical season are plentiful…and often brought to light by our children, who at times, infer the obvious, with an ease that we, as parents, can miss, in our zeal for planning “just the right” lesson or connecting “the most perfect” piece of literature with a holy day or a specific study we are undertaking.

How many Christmas books do we partake of whose theme our kids “see” often before we do? C.S. Lewis’s classic jewel, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is doubtless, the quintessential allegorical portrayal of Christ’s valor and divinity. The stirring parallels between the tenets of our faith and the characterization and setting in the tale foster deep study for every age. Isn’t it exciting when, on a surface level, our kids immediately connect the four children to the four writers of the Gospel? The deeper levels of discussion are, of course, boundless. (It’s also exciting to brainstorm what Turkish delight really is and whip up a batch!) For a wealth of information on the author as well as study guides related to his works, please visit the C.S. Lewis Foundation at www.cslewis.org.

In Eve Bunting’s Night Tree, a family traditionally travels to the woods at the edge of town each Christmas Eve to see “their” tree and in doing so, lovingly leave it decorated with fruits, nuts and scattered goodies for the forest animals. Our kids will, not surprisingly, see the connection between these deeds and St Francis’s humility and his love for his animal brothers and sisters. For more on St Francis, enjoy Tomie de Paola’s Poor Man of Assisi and Anne Eileen Heffernhan’s 57 Stories of Saints, both available through www.adoremusbooks.com. For activities around Night Tree, see www.litplans.com/titles/Night_Tree_Eve_Bunting.html .

And what kid wouldn’t find the untamed Herdmanns running amok in Barbara Robinson’s gem The Best Christmas Pageant Ever an absolute scream? What’s better than your seven year old ruminating on Imogene’s bold questioning? (“You know, she makes good points Mom!”) ….. And brings him to add Herod to your running timeline of world leaders and events, after doing some reading up on this “bad guy,” wondering, “Yeah, who he was anyway?” For related literature activities on this title, see www.teachervision.fen.com. For blank world timelines as well as wipe-off Bible lands maps, you might like to peruse www.geomatters.com.

How about the happy, selfless acts of the jolly old elf himself, who is forever connected with one of our faith’s best loved saints, good Saint Nicholas? When our boys want to leave him handmade gifts and thank you notes under the tree on Christmas Eve, it exemplifies their excitement and confirms not only their appreciation of this mythic character’s devotion to children the world over, but their connection with him to the most blessed night of our liturgical year. When my children heard just the ending snippets of F. P. Church’s 1897 Sun editorial toward the end of the Christmas movie, “Prancer,” they immediately assumed that this was a reference to Jesus: “Thank God he lives and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.” What else would a Catholic child infer around this quote in isolation? (For enjoyment of the entire text, please see www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/ )

When asked just why he likes “being Catholic” there isn’t one specific thing my son can isolate. “I just do,” he says. “It’s just everything that our religion stands for.”

2010 Chris Capolino

Honoring the Memories

Mom, she’s cold….” So says my newly turned six year old in a concerned, anxious tone, as he caresses his Grandmother’s folded hands. Her make-up, beginning to wear thin and stain his white dress- shirt cuff is another mystery to him, but not bothersome. This was not a casual get together, a grandmother and grandson spending an afternoon together… He, possibly regaling her with some math facts or a poem recently committed to memory; asking her to read aloud his latest favorite book; or sharing a recently created masterpiece for her refrigerator. She, possibly bowled over in mock surprise at having lost the current checkers tournament; enthralled at the latest CYO trophy acquired; or herding him into the kitchen to assist her in beginning dinner.

No, this would be their final “get together.” My son’s Grandmother, my Mom, is laid out in her coffin, and surrounded by a myriad of carnations and gladiolas and a wealth of Mass cards. Each time another individual comes to pay respects, he has to move off the kneeler, where he has been holding court since the funeral home opened its doors to us this afternoon. In his mind, this is his wake for his Nanny and he has a hold on that spot. He reluctantly moves when we explain that Nanny was loved by many; they need to “visit” with her and “say goodbye” as well. Many approach the coffin a number of times; they are not visiting obligatorily. They want time after a chat with a relative unseen since who-knows-when, to just kneel, pray and ponder. They gaze, sometimes, at the crucifix over the coffin, sometimes at Mom, sometimes at the beautiful flowers.

So, both my sons watch this parade of humanity gently making its way to the front of the room, chatting amongst themselves, reaching out to embrace someone who hasn’t been seen in “too long.” The many decorations pinned to the coffin and accessories Mom wears, as well as the stories emotionally attached to them, cause me to realize the impact that all of this has on all of us: The dress Mom is wearing, a lovely soft hue of green worn at another special grandson’s (my nephew’s) wedding a year earlier …..“I want to get my money’s worth! Bury me in it!” she laughingly told us after she and my sister picked it up. ……… The amethyst ring Dad gave for her 21st birthday some 67 years earlier. She never liked it, was not a jewelry wearer other than some adornment crafted by her grandchildren… This ring was one of few pieces she owned. ”But Daddy doesn’t know; it’ll hurt his feelings……I can’t believe he picked this out…something an OLD WOMAN would wear!” Hah……… And the pictures. The albums that fill the tables, the collages that line the perimeter of the room. Stories of much love and many good times; dozens, hundreds of lives touched, are held within those. Some in a small way; some fleetingly. All important. And this is the course for all who lose someone born to Eternal Life.

How do we each, in our own way, peel away our levels of grief? What of this depth of sadness, when we unpack a well worn Christmas decoration, decades of memories held within; or when our glances fall upon random photos throughout our homes that evoke a long ago, stored away memory; or when a homily is laced with references so reminiscent of a lost individual, that the celebrant might well be calling out his name? And, how about those who have no faith? How is it possible that anyone continue their earthly lives without a beloved, along a journey devoid of the belief in life everlasting?

When we are faced with a loss, it is certain that our little ones are attempting to fit the confusing fragments together as well. None of us are strangers to grief; as we travel through life, we heal along with our children and learn to remember, honor and look forward. So, now my children have no earthly grandparents; all of them are “our special saints,” as my oldest states. We keep alive the memory of all of their grandparents by perpetually sharing stories of wacky, serious and proud moments. When one of the children becomes wistful, wishing Grandpa “could be here with us,” as when we toured the World War II memorial in Washington DC this summer, the other says, “He is here with us.” And we take a picture of them sitting on the ridges engraved “Leyte Gulf” and “Manila,” since that is where their grandfather was two generations ago before most of the people respectfully wandering the Memorial, were even born. Without a doubt, they know, truly know that they will meet again in Heaven and spend eternity.

How did that happen? How are they so confident that this is so? Well, Sunday after Sunday, reaffirming this belief with their parish community in The Apostles’ Creed: “I believe in the resurrection of the body and life everlasting.” Reading and learning The Baltimore Catechism. Book number 2, lesson 14 includes questions such as “What is meant by the resurrection of the body?” and “Why will the bodies of the just rise?” initiate deep discussion and actually provide comfort to our children as well as giving them a base understanding of our Catechism of life and death.

There are a myriad of books for all ages that compassionately aid in our children’s understanding of death. Those which illuminate our Catholic doctrine of eternal life, making it “accessible” and not to be feared, are also plentiful. Some of the stand outs include Grandpa, Is There a Heaven? by Katherine Bohlmann, What Happened When Grandpa Died? by Peggy Barker and Wait until Then by Randy Alcorn, all available through www.christianbooks.com.

Celebrating a saint whose feast day falls when a loved one passes can be healing. As I write this, it is my Mom’s first anniversary, January 25, and the feast day of St. Paul. Reading his biography and discussing the quiet humility he displayed while spreading the Word and in the wake of his execution, is a humbling and appropriate act for all of us as we remember Mom. An informative, yet reflective story of the life of St Paul can be found in 57 Stories of Saints by Anne Eileen Heffernan, available through www.adoremusbooks.com. Ours is well worn and read on various feast days.

During the prayer service on the final night of Mom’s wake, my husband and I were taken aback, when my then eight year old, wished to get up in front of the room and share a memory. Among all those story fragments swirling around the room spun by friends, neighbors and family, he felt comfortable that his memory of his Nanny was worthy of being shared as well as the others’. This was one small thought that would carry him through the days and even years ahead when thinking of what his Nanny means to him. And he did. He shared some silliness of a song his Nan sung off key while bearing the brunt of our hysterics to this oft requested melody, being a good sport about it, welcoming it.

So, it seems that it is amid the laughter, the memories, that we all eventually emerge beyond the sadness. Enveloped within our doctrine of eternal life, we not only accept, but look with anticipation. As my youngest offhandedly commented while perusing scrapbooks, noting the many smiling faces of the grandparents, aunts and uncles who have gone before us, “All the people we love and will love in our lives but haven’t even met yet, will be waiting when we get there.”

2010 Chris Capolino

Catholic Boot Camp?

“‘A lowly donkey was given to Jesus to ride into Jerusalem just before His death and resurrection…’”

So reads my oldest from the Gospel of St Matthew. (Chapter 21:1-9), after which my boys methodically peruse the items within our Resurrection Eggs. Miniature renditions of the silver coins, the Passover cup, the leather whip, the stone of the tomb, nails in the cross, and several more pieces of the story that illustrate our Savior’s passion, death and resurrection, increase the wonder of Lent for them. They are eager to embark on their day alongside the unfolding drama of our Lord’s divinity, hand in hand with the captivating history of our Faith’s beginnings. (A lovely book of readings, as well as the Resurrection Eggs, is available at www.familylife.com.)

Does it seem in our current culture as if the days of Lent-gone-by were imposed with a more serious, almost solemn vibe? That the tenor of sacrifice, which illustrates our own fragility, as well as our reverence for the Passion of Christ, is not as apparent as once it was? Used to be common, restaurants featuring a Lenten menu; never would a wedding or other festive celebration be held during Lent. Mardi gras dinners concluded consumption of sugar-y goodies, the last vestige of a celebratory feel, as we embarked on 40 days of barrenness. Ash Wednesday was met with a few personal intentions to be worked on for the Lenten season. We knew we would encounter the breath taking beauty of an Easter Sunday morning altar sprayed with a wealth of lilies; organ blasting; little girls in brand new bonnets, white Mary Janes and floral dresses; little boys in squeaky-new, black patent leather dress shoes and linen suits. The Easter Bunny’s arrival under dark of night, bringing chocolate for our well loved and sentimental Easter baskets and hiding the eggs dyed on Holy Saturday, helped us sweetly break our Lenten fast.

Let’s reclaim the solemnity of the Lenten season, not only within our families and catechetical programs, but within our communities as well, by including our children’s friends, teammates and neighbors into some of our Lenten traditions. Let’s bring back the rigor and solemnity of Lent, as we attempt to follow Jesus’s example of overcoming Satan’s temptations by attempting to overcome influences of evil that daily tempt us.

There are a myriad of paths parents and catechists can journey along with their children during this solemn season of Lent to prepare for the great feast of Easter. Websites and blogs authored by ambitious catechists abound on the internet. A Lenten Journey calendar, ideas for “Burying the Alleluia” and other goodies can be found highlighted at www.catholicicing.com and www.catholicmom.com.

In our family’s homeschool, we have adapted some widely found activities as well as originating a few of our own Lenten treasures. For the past few seasons of Lent, each of us has created Mosaic Crosses, cut from colorful foam and hung in a trafficked spot in our home. When a positive action or attribute by any family member is noticed, such as “helped without being asked,” “extra patience,” or “good listening today,” one of the boys grabs a foam heart sticker and a marker from a nearby basket, jots the good deed and places the heart on the cross. By Easter Sunday, the effects of the multi colored hearts splattered on the four large crosses is the loveliest and one of the most meaningful Easter decoration in our home.

Just this Lenten season, we embarked on a new tradition, which we are calling our Lenten Scripture boxes. In these simple file card boxes that the boys have lovingly decorated with some personal drawings depicting Jesus’s passion, we note in the “Lenten Goals” section, personal flaws we strive to conquer over these 40 days. In the “Daily Scripture Verse” section, each of the boys rereads and copies a Bible verse that strikes a chord and which they would like to remember.

Woven throughout our Lenten crafts and reflections are a few staples of our Religion curriculum. The Baltimore Catechism, book 1, lesson 14, “The Resurrection and Life Everlasting,” and Seton’s Our Catholic Legacy, chapter 8, “The Beginning of the Christian Era,” beautifully relate the theology of the First Easter for children. Both are available at www.setonbooks.com

Classic pieces of literature can be mainstays along our Lenten path as well. The Story of the Cross: The Stations of the Cross for Children by Joslin and Newey is a must have, for the retelling of the Easter story, as well as the inviting illustrations, will captivate children. Silverstein’s parable, The Giving Tree, illustrates many virtues including selflessness, generosity and compassion, as the tree, representing our Lord, is still happy even after the little boy has taken everything from him. He now has nothing left to offer the boy except a “quiet place to rest.” These gems are available at www.adoremusbooks.com.

Our children are building their faith as they spend time with crafts, literature and prayer on our journey through Lent toward the joy of Easter. May we each rediscover the beauty in our relationships with one another on our journeys, as we reflect on this precious gift of renewal and rebirth.

2010 Chris Capolino

‘Tis the Season: Journeying Toward the Sacraments

Press suit. Check.

Shine black dress shoes. Check.

Purchase white satin tie and arm band. Check.
Cut hair, charge camera batteries. Check and check.

Stock up on paper goods, plan menu, order cake, boutonniere and balloons. Check, check and check.

Plant, weed and generally beautify yard after a long and dormant winter. Check. (Okay, this one is still ongoing….)

‘Tis the season? No, not that season…the favored season among many, which generates lists, traditions and rich memories as well… The sacramental season: When grace and mercy are amply bestowed by our loving Father upon first communicants and confirmandi throughout dioceses across America. When photos will capture grace filled moments of the conferring of the sacrament, which will undoubtedly decorate shelves in lovely frames for posterity. When family members enjoy the camaraderie of the cooking, the baking, the decorating, the general preparing. And yes, the season when Moms and Dads of these blessed first communicants and confirmandi stress, worry and generally place importance on the unimportant…..or the not-as-important.

As the Mom of a little one on the brink of receiving sacramental graces, I am certainly ‘guilty’ of, shall we say, overaccentuating the, well, the fluff. Not that a little organization isn’t helpful when it comes to the shade of blue with which your little First Communicant’s gift is beribboned; the style of cutlery… (clear or white?) with which your guests enjoy the celebratory meal; the agonizingly oh-so-exact placement of your child’s photo on the invitation; the labeling of the coffee urns as ‘decaf’ and ‘caffeinated’ or the….. Wait; did I say ‘organized’? Hmm, what I really mean is ….over-analytical, controlling and well, overboard.

How about a revised “to do” list? One that is actually meaningful in the deeper context of the awe inspiring sacraments about to be received by our children and one which may inspire all of us as parents and catechists to a deeper understanding of the graces which we may be taking for granted? I’m thinking that I may need to focus just a little more on the spiritual – on the unleashed enthusiasm that my son is expressing as he revels in the newness of God’s mercy received in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and as he anticipates the awesomeness of the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist.

Lately, in our homeschool, I have chosen to pare down and subscribe to the ‘less is more’ ideology. Discussion around just a few literary jewels that truly speak to us; deep, thoughtful conversations, writing and projects around a few classic pieces of literature or a few aptly chosen parables from the Bible, work for us. Overextending to many resources with hope that marinating the kids in sheer volume tends to be counterproductive for them, as well as for me. (It took me quite a while to figure this out too.)

So, here goes. How about striving to:

1. Update the sacramental notebooks-

I would love to be able to describe the beauty and depth of meaning that home-made sacramental notebooks held for my sons as they prepared for their First Holy Communion and First Penance experiences. My older son, two years ago, and my youngest, currently. Sadly, I must admit that the notebook worked for neither of them. I had all sorts of grandiose scrapbook ideas pictured, lovely card stock at the ready, stickers and stencils handy. To no avail. Oh, we did get started. We have beautifully copied Bible verses, prayers, drawings interpreting Scripture. Some of these currently sit in their project binders or decorate the walls of their rooms. Did the boys gain a deeper understanding of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass as well as the lives of several saints? Absolutely. Have they made a wealth of Bible stories ‘their own’? Absolutely. Did they commit to memory many prayers in English as well as some in Latin? Absolutely. Not a failure of a project in that regard. But, do we have sacramental keepsakes for the ages? Absolutely not. Perhaps we’ll embark on this endeavor again in a year or so as my oldest begins preparation for the sacrament of confirmation. For those who would like to journey toward the sacraments with your children using the notebook as one of your tools, please look into the treasure trove at www.4real.thenetsmith.com, shared by the always creative Mom-bloggers there. Enjoy the ideas with your children on your way to sacramental preparation, whatever the outcome.

2. Review the Baltimore Catechism-

The quintessential study guide to Catholicism. I doubt that any of us does not have, among other images, that of the sacramental ladder, indelibly inscribed on our minds. A daily must-do.

3. Pray the Rosary……. again and again and again-

Encouraged by countless saints as well as the Magsterium, we are all well aware that it is the source through which abundant graces are received. The colorful Rosary Comic Book, (www.Pauline.org) presents in a child-friendly format a ‘how to’ guide, as well as the Biblical stories around the joyful, glorious, sorrowful and luminous mysteries. My boys are a fan club in themselves of our beloved John Paul the Great. Because he shepherded my generation into adulthood during his papacy, I have a particularly deep affinity for the late Pontiff. His addition of the luminous mysteries to the Rosary have peaked the curiosity and interest of my boys. My oldest, in particular, enjoys perusing www.how-to-pray-the-rosary-everyday.com for readings and history around this most powerful prayer.

‘Building’ can be an exciting avenue in preparation for little ones’ lifelong devotion to the Rosary….particularly with boys. Simply enough, creating your own Rosary develops a foundation and understanding of the flow of each prayer. And it’s just plain fun. Kits are widely available. I love the ones at www.emmanuel.com and www.rosary.com. Each of my boys has several Rosaries; but their favored beads are the ones that they created.

4. Revel in the beauty of the words penned by a few Catholic authors who unabashedly wear the faith on their sleeves. Their classics have taught, inspired and become go-to favorites for my family. Picture books are perfect vehicles for introducing and for reliving sacramental preparation. –

Josephine Nobisso (www.josephinenobisso.com) has woven several stories of devotion infused with characters that spring to life in children’s imaginations. In The Weight of a Mass, a poor, devout woman begs for just a scrap of bread from a wealthy, faithless baker as she promises to offer her Mass intentions for him. The baker scornfully attempts to determine the value of his bread and thus, the ‘weight of a Mass’ on his trusty scale. The outcome will peak interest and spark discussion among children of any age…as well as adults, as to the true weight of a Mass.

In Take it to the Queen: A Tale of Hope, the events of Jesus’s life as well as examples of virtuous behavior are presented in an inventive allegory. The symbolism is rich. The enjoyment gleaned by children of any age in uncovering the deeper layers of meaning is priceless. We are all blessed by Ms. Nobisso’s gift with words.

Tomie dePaola’s (http://www.tomie.com/) writing has spoken to countless children of all ages. His original presentations of themes within Catholicism so beautifully depicted in Clown of God, Patrick: Patron Saint of Ireland and Francis: the Poor Man of Assisi have charmed my children, and taught them much. We are particularly loving Angels, Angels, Everywhere right now on our sacramental journey.

Just a reminder, too, about the lovely collection of inspirational passages shared by His Holiness, John Paul the Great, For the Children. Sigh. Just Beautiful.

So, yes, well within a Mother’s ‘job description’ is directing her family’s minutiae….the essential and the extraneous. I am blessed to be living this vocation of Motherhood and recognize that the immense requisite of micromanagement expertise is daily granted me by our Lord. While the preparation for The Big Day will remain paramount on my to-do list, I will say with conviction that what-does-not-get-done will be forgotten as my husband and I witness perfection in our son’s receiving of the Sacrament that day.

2010 Chris Capolino

The Small Things

Startling blue skies. Crisp, clear mornings and halcyon spring afternoons. An impromptu game of marbles. Discovering a family of ladybugs on the kitchen windowsill. Jungle animals imagined in drifting cloud formations. Quiet togetherness watering newly planted pansies. Joyful noise in piano and recorder tunes. One boy’s huge chocolate- brown eyes peering over a splayed hand of Uno; the other’s pensive azure-blue eyes taking in a new novel. Sipping steaming hot cocoa after wintry sledding, icy lemonade after a summer bike ride. Bare, little boy feet slapping dewy grass at dusk on an early summer evening, catching and releasing fireflies, whoops of excitement uncontainable.

It’s in the little things, the quiet moments. Yes, it’s the many years of Christmas morning memories, the family video of the kids excitedly zipping down the stairs to uncover the many surprises. It’s the birthday cake pictures, number candle poking askew out of the whipped confection, huge grin on the crowned head. But it is also the unspoken camaraderie, the support, the bond, sitting side by side while one son grapples with Latin adverbs and the other attempts to conquer place value. The cleaning of the skinned knee, the rocking of the middle of the night toddler, the presence our kids need when they are troubled by the trivial. If it’s important to them, it’s our crisis too. The small things are what matters.

Family. The sweetness of childhood. I stopped to revel in its wonder this week as my boys gleefully noticed the lilac bush at the head of our driveway erupting with beauty. I rushed them past to the car on our way to beckoning errands, book club meeting and baseball practice. And I realized: We get another crack at this. We get to experience this twice. The energy and exuberance of all things life, love and Faith. We lived it once. Now, through a special blessing called Motherhood, we are graced to live it again. Beside our kids. Every step of the way. Our children’s journeys are a first time whirlwind…..an entry into newness and expectancy. Meeting for the first time ever, Jo March, Boy Friday, Long John Silver, Huck Finn, Laura Ingalls Wilder, the Village Blacksmith; stepping back in time to explore the mystery of history; marveling when scientific principles are revealed, when mathematical concepts are grasped. The edifying crack of the ball against the bat, the mastery of the elusive chord, the inaugural two wheeled ride sans training wheels, and yes the dropped glass of milk, the lost beloved stuffed pup, the birthday party to which he was not invited -We are there for it all. We nurture and provide the constant presence in order for them to become independent. And aren’t we blessed? Is this not the greatest gift?

Foremost, we all know that mothering means details. We don’t believe it until we live it; but, it’s true. The endless cycle of laundry, dishes, food preparation, lesson planning, directing our children’s learning as well as their social calendars and their sporting lives- the list is without end. The duties around the minutiae of it all can overpower our vision of what a true gift we have been given.

Motherhood is thankless at times; but, we try to be there for our children, happily and completely, with our Blessed Mother Mary’s guidance as the quintessential example of selflessness. After all, our Blessed Mother unquestioningly shouldered much hardship in the name of motherhood. We always celebrate her acceptance of God’s will; but most especially on March 25 and again on Good Friday. Ravaged by grief at the foot of the cross wrapped in more sorrow than any of us can begin to imagine- her baby, her son, bloodied, tortured and breathing his last. What more can be said of her quiet humility and stoicism? All I need endure is an occasional mountain of dirty baseball and soccer effects, breakfast crumbs littering the floor, splattered craft paint and piles of schoolwork yet to be tackled. Would that I had a modicum of our Lady’s total trust in the Lord.

At a time when motherhood is viewed as lowly, at best, as a part time job – when mothers are very often looked upon askance, as if slackers; when casual conversation artfully hints that mothers should be engaged in ‘something worthwhile’ outside the home in order to be productive; when families sacrifice deeply so that stay at home and homeschooling mothers can follow their vocations, only to be held up to scrutiny within the nationwide media – when all of this begins to put us off balance, let us know how truly blessed we are and let us not be distracted by this noise.

I admit that I did not fully realize the magnitude of a God given gift until a decade ago when I became a mother. And I find it unfathomable that one day my sons will drive, master trigonometry, interpret Longfellow, translate foreign languages, be taller than me, not want me around, get married, be fathers, be productive members of society. My babies. All in God’s plan. I pray that all this will come in time….even the not-wanting-me-around part, for that is the healthiness of growth and separation. I pray for it; but I don’t want it.

The second Sunday in May can be idyllic. The simplicity and the love poured out in construction paper cards. The ease of a lovely spring afternoon spent with the individuals who you love most in the world. Thankfulness to the Dads, our husbands, who make it happen through their hard work and encouragement. They’re the ones who tell us that tomorrow is another day. Not to worry, that math concept will be ‘gotten’ eventually and the dust can wait; the kids’ happiness is what matters. My husband is the one who centers me and brings me back to what is real. The second Sunday in May can also be emotionally charged and empty for many. For those who suffer loneliness, we wish we could take it away.

For all the mothers who chose life and gave up their babies with the hope for a life with more promise than they could give, and for the mothers who adopted these precious souls; for single mothers who are both Mom and Dad to their kids; for mothers who struggle to give their kids a childhood that was missing something for them; for mothers whose babies wait for them in Heaven; for mothers who have lost their way; for those whose own mothers and grandmothers have been called Home; for those mothers who boost each other with your wit and wisdom, your love and generosity, because it is what you know first and do best; to all mothers – Happy Mothers’ Day.

2010 Chris Capolino

Along the Way

Lately, I have been finding myself on the receiving end of some serious form-filling-out…..insurance forms, medical forms, grocery store card savings forms. They just seem to be piling up. We Moms have long since aired our ire around that pesky ‘occupation’ blank, however misguided or however justified that may be. Let’s see: “Mom.” “Housewife.” “Home Educator.” “Keeper of the Home.” And my current favorite: “Domestic Diva.”
Inasmuch as our society deems motherhood a part time job, assigning day care workers and nannies to the bulk of children’s formative years, while Moms who “have it all” sweep from the board room to the nursery for a few precious minutes of nightly- bedtime-story-quality-time, I actually revel in what many consider a slacker life. Despite holding two degrees from a distinguished university, I am honored to be counted among a growing legion of educated, forward thinking women who stay home….a-n-d whose husbands support them.
I work; but I “work at home.” I don’t submit daily work reports to my supervisor, unless you count the numerous documents due to our school district with growing frequency. I don’t schedule power lunches with prospective clients, unless you count a midday yogurt while online curriculum searches, methodical catalog perusals and phone queries about specific course materials that I am considering – to match each of my boys’ needs – are conducted.
No, this is a family journey. We are privileged to exemplify Pope John Paul II’s November 1981 Apostolic Exhoration, “The Christian Family in the Modern World (Familiaris Consortio),” in which he states that parents are “the first and foremost educators of their children.” My husband has become the fun, hands-on purveyor of all things experimental, natural and mechanical. I have become the history, numeracy, literacy and yes, when necessary, drill-and-kill connoisseur. We pray that we are not simply widening academic pursuits, but building a foundation that, while venturing outward, exploring and experiencing, is truly homeward bound.
While I am ‘it,’ orchestrating the majority of the boys’ academics, the minutiae of their social calendars and the general home keeping, my husband is the one who powers it all. His encouragement at home and his dedication at work, make it possible. So, while I may have, during the newness of our homeschooling journey six years ago, felt inferior to my Mom-peers due to shedding the independence and the income, I now embrace the beauty and the privilege of my “job.” The quiet willingness of my husband to carry the burden of our family’s well-being in partnership with me, here at home, spinning many plates? Well, this is a life affirming realization: God has given me the grace to awaken to this valuable gift. Titles? Awards? Accolades? No, I don’t receive any of those, any more. It’s all much greater than that.
On a recent Sunday, my husband opened The New York Times magazine, eager to reach the article detailing “family day trips” to one of our travel destinations this summer. Initially assuming that the details included in the story would supplement the wealth of information I have been gathering for our trip, he was consequently quite dismayed. Actually, the story was not in the slightest about family vacations, but more a pseudo ad for a few Mom-and-Dad-can-lay-on-beach-we’ll-take-the-kids-off-your-hands-and-keep-them-busy-for-a-full-day-so-you-don’t-feel-guilty-because-they’re-having-fun-too camps.
“Who in the world would take the family HERE? What kind of trip is that? Don’t parents get how soon the kids will be grown up and gone?” was his reaction. That’s my man.
For all our men who, from behind the scenes, keep their families going:
You are a Daddy who works tirelessly for your families and often endures a less-than- ideal work environment, uncomplainingly.
You are a Daddy who would love nothing more than a little quiet before you are “there” for your kids, once you walk in the door after an endless day. But you know life is short and childhood is fleeting.
You are a Daddy who may have, once upon a time, jointly chosen life and then ambivalently but hopefully, given this life away with the prayer that your small soul would grow up happier, better. You may wish, longingly and futilely, to now be a part of this life.
You are a Daddy who is patient when your kids are, well, kids.
You are single Moms who are both Mommy and Daddy to your kids. There is no tag team for you; yet you do it all. And with panache.
You are a Daddy who is building memories which will shine and weave themselves into the brightest of childhood snapshots for your adult children decades from now.
You are a Daddy who is the model of Fatherhood for the future, seen in your children’s eyes. They want to grow up to be “just like Dad.”
You are a Daddy. You are your child’s heartstrings.
Happy Father’s Day.

2010 Chris Capolino

In Each of Us, Christ: A Rosary on the Soccer Field

The day dawns clear, bright, crisp. Autumn crimsons, burnt golds, harvest siennas, deep mauves, peaches. Seeping gloriously into maples’ bold emeralds. Surrounding the greenest of green fields. Azure sky, cloudless and stretching. Seemingly into forever. And summer becomes a memory all too quickly.

A beautiful day. The stuff of nature which inspires poets. Wordsmiths capture nature’s beauty with ease. Some of us attempt; but settle to capture moments with memory chips and 8 x 10 frames. This grandeur is evasive. Above words. And few can masterfully contain these words into verse.

For in this moment, proud Moms and Dads wield camcorders and thermos cups; chat with neighbors; cluster along white painted field lines. Huddle under a throw as the afternoon turns shady, chilly. Inside those lines are cleated, shin-guarded legs, uniformed little bodies darting, kicking, blocking, cheering, encouraging, trying.

These were tiny, peach-fuzzy, and baby-powder scented, gurgling, pink or blue fleeced bundles, oh…yesterday. And now:

We say, incredulously, He’s almost as tall as me!

We remark, Time flies!

Whistles blow, teammate camaraderie abounds. Water break. Position switch. Goalie saves! And all of this within the shadow of the luminous cross. Yes, enveloped by poison ivy but still beautiful, at field’s center and seeming to guard.

And we gather for the weekly ritual of Opening Prayer and National Anthem. But what does it mean? Perfunctorily reciting prayers known since toddlerhood while adjusting shin guards; committing coach’s words of advice to memory; gearing up to face opponents, friendly competition though it is. Anthem words which are often, shamefully we must admit, uttered quickly and almost as an intrusion to our routines!

What it means will quickly become all too evident. What it means is the balance of the day, the month, our lives, while planned to flow unchallenged, could instantly shatter. As if we author our own destinies.

Sometimes something does happen to shatter the routine, the planned-ness, the beauty of our lives. As it did on this day. The beauty was shaken. The planned.

For, not far from this happy bubble of safety and beauty, of life: a child of God, living his plan, needed our field.

Perhaps he was on his way to a family event. Perhaps he was alone in the car. Or with his spouse. Or his children.

Perhaps he left the house in a haze of angrily uttered words to his loved ones, which he grew to regret as he drove. Or perhaps he left and the last sight of his home were smiling, happy faces, waving, calling, Don’t be too long.

Perhaps he realized how blessed is his life. And perhaps he even thanked God for this goodness.

Perhaps he headed for a lengthy business trip or not. Perhaps, simply a quick run to the grocery store.

Perhaps he was preoccupied with good news or bad, recently received.

Whatever his circumstances, on this breathtaking, full, autumn day, he did not arrive at his destination. He did not plan to go to the soccer field on this day. He had no offspring, no nieces, nephews playing there.

But, he found himself on our field. On a stretcher. Rerouted there by individuals desperate to save his life.

For, as we watched play, took pictures, and reveled in the beauty of now, suddenly, the beauty is broken. Roaring, exploding into our field’s lot were half a dozen emergency vehicles. We listened with puzzlement to anxious but organized commands of emergency workers who suddenly, authoritatively control the area. We vacated the field, gathered the children, wondered why? Why?

It is soon evident why. We are the bystanders in someone’s nightmare. To the moment that will forever be the before and after line in a life. In several someone’s lives.

This crisis mode of emergency vehicles. Paramedics, fire fighters, drivers, responders to God’s call to be His healers and helpers in this life. Unfathomable. How can this be rehearsed? This ebb and flow of tragedy? But we witness it all unfold.

Ambulance, as it races to field’s edge. Workers, who wait patiently for helicopter to appear, then finally landing center field. Paramedics, who rush to it with stretcher and disappear within. Copter now rising skyward, circling and heading to the wild blue unseen. Those remaining on the ground continue to orchestrate officially and to calm.

It all happens in a flash. And yet, slowly, ever so slowly, those of us who watch and are rendered helpless become silent no more. For my little ones begin with cries of “Wow, a helicopter on the field; that’s so cool,” which gradually become “Wow, I hope he isn’t hurt too badly.”

Perhaps it’s a veritable lifetime, first with one ill parent and then with another. And the familiarity with ambulances. Years of memories flashing. I am five; I am sixteen; I am twenty-eight; I am forty-four. It seems the same faces of the doctors, the drivers, the EMTs have not changed. Determination. Dexterity. Skill.

Or, perhaps it’s coming face to face with reality. This is so not his plan. So not the plan of this injured child of our Lord when he left the house today. So out of control. To be helpless, injured, broken. To not say Goodbye. To not say I love you. One last time. To Somebody.

Perhaps because of this, this reality, I say, a little too harshly, Stop It. This is not a show. This is someone’s life.

I know, my children say, a little ashamed.

And I am shaken and I hug them. Before even realizing it, I begin uttering those familiar words that are repeated rote. Again and again. My younger son picks up the cadence; then my older son; then a child or two scattered near us. Then three, then six, then fourteen, then two dozen. Then coaches and parents and then even an emergency worker or two. Even those for whom brokenness and misfortune are part of life.

After the second Hail Mary, my son blurts, “Mom, let’s say the rosary. Please? At least a decade for this man on the stretcher. He needs it. More than we need to play soccer.”

And so we continue. Through the first decade and into the second and before we know it, Mysteries are announced and my children take turns leading and others fall into the rhythm and follow and repeat and recite and feel it.

Gradually, some wander away and we get the all clear. Whistles alert us to the reason we are here. To the game. Or is it?

Today, we come together for love of the game, for friendly competition, for sportsmanship. We find more. Today, we find much more.

To quell our anxiety, we look to the Lord. He provides. Not simply with strength to overcome our fear at the unknown, which is what we ask for. We are not just individuals leading our lives, following those checklists, mumbling a rote Glory Be or Lord’s Prayer. We are a community of warriors. Prayer warriors. When one of us falls, God is there. And lest we forget, we see the face of Christ in each other.

Visible. Obvious. Oh, not always. Sure, sometimes, we have to look. Hard. But we are blessed. Because we find it. All the time. The face of Christ is there.

Even at our worst. Even when we think we don’t deserve it. Even when we think others cannot find it in us.

For we have the power. Our Father runs the world and we are His people. Every one of us.

2010 Chris Capolino

Of Lingering-Firefly Summers, Fireplace-Cozy Winters and Aunt Mary’s Creamed Spinach: Remembrances

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:21

I am 4. I am 7. I am 10, 13, 18. There is Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, New Year’s Day. There are birthdays, graduations, retirements, housewarmings, christenings.

And there is the everyday. Not occasions. But very special indeed.

Backyard barbeques on crystal summer days. Charbroil and hickory wafting to seemingly endless summer sky, creating forever an imprint of happiness, bliss. Of togetherness. Of safety.

Emerald grass, lemon yellow marigolds and neon pink petunia, trimmed. Lawn chairs, neatly arranged earlier, now haphazardly strewn. Yanked by eager friends joining burgeoning, lively conversations. A day, lingeringly, gratefully, spent with friends sans daily rigor. Heightened by comfort, familiarity, ease. Love.

There are Sunday afternoons slogging through wintry woods to a frozen pond deep within. Ice skates flung over shoulders and bumping with each step. Bright sun, radiant at eye level. Yet hiding behind full beauty of firs and leafless beauty of maple, oak. There is the anticipation, the newness of the adventure. But more so, the reveling in now.

The walk. The talk. The silence in between. The being together.

And festive casseroles await in best china on hand embroidered linens. Aroma of roast beef, garlic mashed potatoes, buttered asparagus waft throughout the house. We enter and bring frosty January air with us. But only briefly. For candles and dimly lit inviting den, leather Queen Anne chairs straddle cracking fireplace casting welcome glow on shelf after shelf of inviting tomes.

There is a high pitched hearty laugh here; the murmur of quiet, deep conversation there; the scrape of a pot, the multitude of sounds made by those comfortable, enjoying life. Appreciating life. Thankful for Life.

Keep open house. Be generous with your lives. By opening up to others you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.
Job 8:21

What makes these cherished memories? The timing. The feeling. The reasons.
We are guests in treasured ones’ homes. In their lives. They are guests in ours’.

The loved ones who inhabit these memories, created these memories.

Most gone. Most long gone. Called Home to their Eternal Reward.

At the time, were they cherished? Was I grateful? Cognizant of how truly blessed I was? Am?

Safe? Loved? Well, yes. Not at first. But yes.

Yes. Most assuredly, yes.

Mom. Dad. Aunt Mary. Uncle Tom. Aunt Peggy. Aunt Betty and Aunt Ruth. Lois. Mr. and Mrs. Godowski, Dad’s army buddy and his wife. Family. Because family is not just bloodlines. It is more. Much more.

At this beautiful, full, rich, prayerful time of year, as we look to understand our faith deeper; to engage our children in the rituals we cherish; as we deck our halls and light our Advent wreaths; as we wrap, bake, send greetings; ride the wave of story; create memories; immerse in the season……..who is there?

Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.
Matthew 5:48

Do I recognize the Aunt Marys, the Uncle Jimmys, the Lois Dugans and the Godowskis in MY children’s lives? Do I appreciate them? Do I honor them?

Do we all? There are in all our lives.

They are there.

These angels the Lord sends our way. Some for a moment, some a season, some a lifetime.

And, dare I say, am I, are we-my husband and I- blessed with this? This, b-e-i-n-g an Aunt Mary or an Uncle Tom? A Mr. Godowski?

Truly awesome. This gift of decorating others’ memories. Our friends’ children’s memories? Our nieces’ and nephews’ childhood memories?

For the good that we do is oft not realized by us. It needs to be made obvious.

We need to make it so-for the special people in our lives. In the right now. The ones who make the ordinary extraordinary.

The ones who taught us what special is. It is the people, the laughter, the feeling, the Light, the Word. The ordinary. The good and bad. They are with us along the journey for it all.

And Thank God.

2010 Chris Capolino